Same topic - a little over 2 months later.......

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I searched to see when I had first posted this. It was 7-5-12. It was when I got the drunk "I love you" from my non-boyfriend boyfriend. Hadn't heard it since then and I am totally fine with it. I am NOT trying to be pushy with him......he's young and I'm old. That pretty much f**ks with his head. But I know we are moving forward at this point. We have talked about the whole age thing and me having kids thing. We are good. We work different shifts so we see each other when we can. I went to the gym with him last Sunday and let me tell you that was the best date I've ever had. Well anyway back to my story.....he came over last night for dinner, movies and drinks. I drank a little bit because I had to be at work at 7:30......he doesn't work until 4 pm so he drank quite a bit more. So we are going to bed and he kissed me good night and said it again, plain as day, ' I LOVE YOU". So I smiled and kissed him again and we went to sleep. I have never said it to him nor do I plan on saying it to a drunk person. He knows I love him. He says if I never said it to him he knows because of the way I treat him. It shows in my face. It shows in his face too. So tell me.......how important are THOSE words? Are the actions enough???

Replies

  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    Words are important but actions are more important. Some men (and women) have a hard time expressing themselves with words. And for some the words come to easy and mean nothing. Im glad its going well:flowerforyou:
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    For guys I think actions can be good enough for awhile... sooner or later you will have to say it. But I think women want to hear it.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    Well I will admit I would like to hear it from him sober. I hate making him sound like a total drunk because he's not. He drinks socially just like me!

    Neither of us are big into talking about feelings.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    I agree with the responses right now. For now actions speak louder then words. Some people like to tell everyone they love them but I think it is more powerful when you wait and say it at the right time. Right now doesn't seem to be the right time for you two.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I would like to hear it from him sober.

    Yeah, I think that would mean more.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I would like to hear it from him sober.

    Yeah, I think that would mean more.

    Absolutely. But really - how important are those words when someones actions show you they love you?
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Absolutely. But really - how important are those words when someones actions show you they love you?
    I don't know. What answer would he get from you to that question?
    You haven't told him you love him, yet you love him and show it with your actions - so surely it isn't that important.

    If you want him to tell it to you, tell him first and state how important it would be for you to hear it.
    If not, then you're all good.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    Absolutely. But really - how important are those words when someones actions show you they love you?
    I don't know. What answer would he get from you to that question?
    You haven't told him you love him, yet you love him and show it with your actions - so surely it isn't that important.

    If you want him to tell it to you, tell him first and state how important it would be for you to hear it.
    If not, then you're all good.

    Right - the words aren't that important (to me)....was wanting other peoples thoughts. My ex-husband told me he loved me when in fact he disliked me very much.

    I am perfect right now. Happy and content. It's a nice new feeling.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Right - the words aren't that important (to me)....was wanting other peoples thoughts. My ex-husband told me he loved me when in fact he disliked me very much.

    I am perfect right now. Happy and content. It's a nice new feeling.

    Don't fix what aint broke!! You're happy, he's happy? I wouldnt care if I never heard it if I felt it. (If you're not feeling it, then that's an altogether different scenario!)

    Agreed. Actions speak louder than words. I was saying exactly the same to my niece lately :bigsmile:

    And whilst I love everyone when I'm drunk, I wouldnt take those words lightly when he's drunk either!! Drink brings out things that you WANT to say sober, but just can't :flowerforyou:
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    Right - the words aren't that important (to me)....was wanting other peoples thoughts. My ex-husband told me he loved me when in fact he disliked me very much.

    I am perfect right now. Happy and content. It's a nice new feeling.

    Don't fix what aint broke!! You're happy, he's happy? I wouldnt care if I never heard it if I felt it. (If you're not feeling it, then that's an altogether different scenario!)

    Agreed. Actions speak louder than words. I was saying exactly the same to my niece lately :bigsmile:

    And whilst I love everyone when I'm drunk, I wouldnt take those words lightly when he's drunk either!! Drink brings out things that you WANT to say sober, but just can't :flowerforyou:

    Thank you :)
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I would like to hear it from him sober.

    Yeah, I think that would mean more.

    Absolutely. But really - how important are those words when someones actions show you they love you?

    If they weren't important to you, if you truly were "perfect right now" as you said before, I doubt you'd be asking us.

    If you're happy, that's great.

    Actions do speak louder than words.

    The last guy who only told me how much he cared for me after every time he had been drinking kicked me to the curb real quick when ms perfect came along. So I don't put much stock in things people only say when they're drunk.
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
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    My ex husband told me he loved me right up to the day before he left me .. so that word doesn't mean a whole lot .. at least to me. Actions speak louder than any word ever could. In fact I just told a temp in my office that I love her because she did all my filing. Do I really love her? Nope. I don't even know her name.

    I guess it is nice and sweet to hear .. but to me how you treat me says much more.

    Get it girlfriend!!!!!
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I would like to hear it from him sober.

    Yeah, I think that would mean more.

    Absolutely. But really - how important are those words when someones actions show you they love you?

    If they weren't important to you, if you truly were "perfect right now" as you said before, I doubt you'd be asking us.

    If you're happy, that's great.

    Actions do speak louder than words.

    The last guy who only told me how much he cared for me after every time he had been drinking kicked me to the curb real quick when ms perfect came along. So I don't put much stock in things people only say when they're drunk.

    Well maybe "perfect" isn't the correct word, but I am happy. I can't deny that one bit.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    My ex husband told me he loved me right up to the day before he left me .. so that word doesn't mean a whole lot .. at least to me. Actions speak louder than any word ever could. In fact I just told a temp in my office that I love her because she did all my filing. Do I really love her? Nope. I don't even know her name.

    I guess it is nice and sweet to hear .. but to me how you treat me says much more.

    Get it girlfriend!!!!!

    I tell my co-workers all the time I love them when they do something nice so I agree. I throw that word around like candy when I know it won't hurt anyone. But to really say it to someone I damn well will mean it!!!