Love

Jennifer2387

How do you know if you are "in love". Do you believe that you can love more than one person in a lifetime? If you fall out of love with a person, does that mean you never truly loved them to begin with?

These are the questions that are mulling around in my brain at the moment.

Kerri_is_so_very

I've seen people be in love with the same person for life and I've seen people that can't seem to hold on to one person if their life depended on it. And no, I don't think if you fall out of love it means you never loved them, it just means you have grown apart for whatever reason(s).

I don't know how to define how I KNOW I'm in love, but I can seriously feel it in my heart when I love someone. I see them and there is a physical reaction to them.

grum84

In my opinion and from my personal experience:

The best way to classify being 'in love' would be when you just want the other person to be around. Not because you are bored or need something, but just because you feel that everything is just better with them there. So much that you want to share those experiences together. That is what I think of.

As far as only one person in a lifetime, I don't think so. I think we lust after many, but only love a handful of people (outside of family/friend kind of love). Some people find it right away, others go through the sometimes long process of finding the person that loves them they way they love back.

I totally believe though that 'love' is something that at times will require some work. Many things affect our lives that change us (for example: health issues, job loss, many different external things that have an affect on you as a person), sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. So can you fall out of it, sure; if that person changes into someone that you did not originally fall in love with. And if you either aren't willing to or just cannot love the new person, then you can fall out of it.

Just my sappy 2 cents.

MikeM53082

How do you know you're in love? When it's over.

Think about it.

AnnaPixie

When I dont stop thinking about him. When I care more about him than I do myself. When I look to the future and see him in it. When I can't wait to share a laugh/incident/feeling/thought with him. When I can't wait to see him again. When my stomach flips at the thought of seeing him again. When he treats me like **** but I still dont hate him no matter how hard I try!!!

Gosh, and that just the beginning. It does change with time. You can love someone that isnt right for you. But I still care what happens to him, even after years apart.

I've only felt that strongly three times in my life. I still feel love for them now (as well as hate!). I dont think the love dies. I've never fallen out of love, just the dynamics changed.

RMuske

There have been times where I thought I was in love and I was wrong. I'm not sure how you know it is right I think you just feel it,,? I think you can love more than one person in a lifetime. There are people who get married, their spouse dies and they get with someone else and it is amazing. It happens. It may be rare but possible. I think if you "fell out of love" it implies you loved them yes..

I think about these same things and these are my current conclusions.

julesboots

Too many unfortunate acronyms in life lately, so here is mine: Love=lots of volatile emotions

I think my favorite love is the rawness of teenaged love! Complete euphoria and utter despair to the power of 200.

Intelligence and a slightly subversive humor are the biggest factors that will determine whether I can love someone, and I've known quite a few people I could have loved over time, but I wasn't available. I think love is super flexible- I've been able to ignore its potential when it wasn't appropriate to let it exist, and I've deliberately tried to coax its growth. Love is awesome, but probably not magic.

lacroyx

To me this sums it up best: "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Heinlein

Jennifer2387

I know that there are different ways to love. Obviously the longer you are with someone the deeper your love is and the more comfortable you are with that person. I just wonder if you ever feel that comfort level with someone new. Can you love that deeply again. When you fight with all you have to keep a marriage or a relationship good and together and train yourself to not give up .. how do you then give up and start that over with someone new. When you get married before God you are promising him that you will love this person till death do you part .. then he decides its over .. how do you then get up before God again and promise that again to someone else.

I am struggling with this. not that I am getting married. But how do you love someone and then not love someone and then find someone else to love because that first person decides that its over.

love is dumb.

PercivalHackworth

That is a great question, I don't think we will ever find a definition that would suit every one of us here. I spend much time trying to solve that riddle ; It's something deep everyone is able to feel - yet unable to express. Is it an universal attribute, I think so yes, does it go beyond what we are able to define ? definitely.

Some are convinced they lived it, yet they barely touched it, others are themselves merged into it, but they don't see it....in the end, Love is everywhere, and nowhere..
That definition is interesting

sunnymel126

To me this sums it up best: "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Heinlein

I love this quote, it's beautiful. It definitely summed it up for me.

I have been in love before and I somewhat felt a little lost in it. But I was in love, crazy in love and I just felt it all over. For a long time after our breakup I thought I don't ever want to feel this way over another man again and shunned it. But now it's different. I know I will love that way again because my heart is open to it.

PercivalHackworth

Well does that mean you can't love without being dependent ? You surely can, that is what unconditional love should be according to its own definition - Love, no strings attached, the way I see it Love seems to be the force which creates and direct the world, but is not idealization, because it seems to be passionless in essence, no matter paradoxical that may sound. Where the is unconditional love, you seize that feeling without any right of ownership, or even admiration, or worshipping.

I think I make the difference between Love and idealization, that last creating a relationship by dependance, Love should suppress possessing, provide admiration without desire and permits you to have without owning..

That is just the way I see it though

JanieJack

To me this sums it up best: "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Heinlein

I have a hard time with quotes like this because I fell like they play into the misconception that other people make us happy. I choose to believe that I can be content and happy regardless of others. When I love someone, their happiness (especially at my hand) does, indeed, brighten my day… but their state of being is never “essential” to my own.

You can never make someone happy- they have to make themselves happy. You can be a part of that by treating them in such a way that part of making themselves happy includes keeping you around, but it ultimately is their responsibility to keep themselves happy.

You can never fix someone who’s broken- they have to fix themselves. You can be a part of that by offering them support, love, nurturing, and access to tools and professionals for improvement, but it ultimately lies within them to fix themselves.

shammxo

I think love is something that just knows no bounds. It's not tangible like people try to make it. I really agree with a lot of what PH said... It's extremely paradoxical.

Love is like the texture of life, as reality, life-affirming, understanding rather than knowledge and responsibility rather than control.
It is finding the balance between absolute courage, and total vulnerability. Being what everyone wants, but nobody thinks they need.
Love isn't dumb... The perception of it is dumb, and the way people abuse it is dumb. People turn it into a power struggle, an object, or in the worst case become nihilistic or indifferent.

Love is all in all.

yoovie

Ive only told 3 men I love them. Each was stronger and more certain and better understood than the previous. Love means, to me, accepting responsibility for the emotions of the other person and recognizing that you have something intangible, unexplainable and magic between you that is undeniable and using that magic to propel each other forward, reach levels together that you couldnt reach alone, and naturally bringing out the best in each other as a team.

rml_16

How do you know if you are "in love". Do you believe that you can love more than one person in a lifetime? If you fall out of love with a person, does that mean you never truly loved them to begin with?

These are the questions that are mulling around in my brain at the moment.

You just know, I think.

Yes, you can love more than one person, not just in a lifetime but at the same time.

No, falling out of love doesn't mean you never loved. People fall in and out of love with the same person over and over, otherwise, marriages would never last 50-60 years.

pammbroo

Love means, to me, accepting responsibility for the emotions of the other person and recognizing that you have something intangible, unexplainable and magic between you that is undeniable and using that magic to propel each other forward, reach levels together that you couldnt reach alone, and naturally bringing out the best in each other as a team.

^I really like and agree with this. I also feel like you can love more than one person and to varying degrees. Maybe it has something to do with the qualities that a particular person brings out in you and where you are at that point in your life. While I think the above definition is "ultimate" and what we all hope to have in our lives, we may also love someone who isn't this person. Knowing full well that they are not the love of our lives, they still provide a level of magic and emotional support that touches our heart in that moment.