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Men fall in love with their eyes, women their ears.

MikeM53082MikeM53082 Member Posts: 1,201 Member Member Posts: 1,201 Member
Right before I went to the gym the other day, I decided to relax with a little daytime TV. The only thing that sparked my interest was Dr. Phil. In this episode, he made the statement "Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears." How true do you really think this is?

Though I can't comment on the women side of things, I can certainly say that men do fall in love with their eyes. I've met women who I haven't been 100% attracted to, but they talked a good game and were interesting enough to go out on a date or two with. The date would go fine and I found myself liking them, but couldn't get over the hump where I could grow to love them for the long haul because I wasn't 100% attracted to them. So those dates would be one (or two) and done for me.

Do women agree on the "falls in love with their ears" thing? For instance, have you been out on a date with a guy you found to be 100% attractive, but just could never say the right things at the right time? Being that he wasn't good with his verbal game, was this a roadblock to you ever falling in love with him?
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  • afv417afv417 Member Posts: 466 Member Member Posts: 466 Member
    Good question... I can't speak for all women but I will speak for myself. I will start off by saying that yes, there are qualities I particularly look for in men. However, I have met men that I was not 100% attracted to that just swept me off my feet by the way they treated me and the way they presented themselves. I have also met men I was 100% attracted to but once I would get to know them I'd want to run.

    I want to be genuinely loved and desired and if I feel this vibe and attraction I will pursue it. Unfortunately, a lot of men know how to "fake" this and then it all sucks. (Not saying that some women don't do it as well.)
  • flimflamflozflimflamfloz Member Posts: 1,980 Member Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    While I > might < fall in love with my eyes, I can certainly fall out of love with my ears.
    Well. "Love"... Let's put it this way, I'd certainly bless a hot girl with some bed brewed love indeed - but the word love on its own is a bit "extreme".

    So technically, I guess I don't fall in love with only my eyes, but also my ears. So then the statement is wrong for me...
    And I've met women I wasn't 100% attracted to (physically), but were very interesting and compatible with me and so I started looking at them under a different light physically (getting used to them and liking even their "physical flaws").

    To be honest, I normally don't go for women who are 10/10 (is that what you mean by 100%?) but 6-7-8/10, which for me is generally enough to generate a good solid physical attraction.
    Also, the "attraction levels" depends so much on the way they dress, the level of preparation they put in their outfit, their current mood and body language, how drunk I am and what comes out of their mouth (no, I'm not talking about vomit here, but words)... The level of attraction depends so much on all that I don't think an absolute 10/10 exists (i.e. "10s" will oscillate between 8 and 10/10 - maybe 6-7 in the morning out of bed - which is pretty darn good already if you ask me!).

    So there.
  • MikeM53082MikeM53082 Member Posts: 1,201 Member Member Posts: 1,201 Member
    While I > might < fall in love with my eyes, I can certainly fall out of love with my ears.
    Well. "Love"... Let's put it this way, I'd certainly bless a hot girl with some bed brewed love indeed - but the word love on its own is a bit "extreme".

    So technically, I guess I don't fall in love with only my eyes, but also my ears. So then the statement is wrong for me...
    And I've met women I wasn't 100% attracted to (physically), but were very interesting and compatible with me and so I started looking at them under a different light physically (getting used to them and liking even their "physical flaws").

    To be honest, I normally don't go for women who are 10/10 (is that what you mean by 100%?) but 6-7-8/10, which for me is generally enough to generate a good solid physical attraction.
    Also, the "attraction levels" depends so much on the way they dress, the level of preparation they put in their outfit, their current mood and body language, how drunk I am and what comes out of their mouth (no, I'm not talking about vomit here, but words)... The level of attraction depends so much on all that I don't think an absolute 10/10 exists (i.e. "10s" will oscillate between 8 and 10/10 - maybe 6-7 in the morning out of bed - which is pretty darn good already if you ask me!).

    So there.

    Believe me, I don't date 10's either! I'd say I'm 100% attracted to a women who's a 7/8 though. She doesn't have to be absolutely flawless by any means, but just attractive.
  • NCTravellingGirlNCTravellingGirl Member Posts: 717 Member Member Posts: 717 Member
    Sooo, I think I've read on here multiple men joking about falling in love every time they see a beautiful woman. I've also read a ton of messages on here for women who fall for all the words men say but don't back up with action (me being one of them). So, yeah, I can see this being true.

    I was told once that men decide quickly if they're rather date you or sleep with you, and then, assuming they'd be willing to have sex, they get to know your personality to decide if there is something really there.

    I think women do the opposite (to a point). I tend to fall for words first then become attracted to someone regardless of appearance. Clearly that isn't working well. Maybe I just need to start hitting on guys that look good, haha....
  • LAWoman79LAWoman79 Member Posts: 353 Member Member Posts: 353 Member
    I think it is crap. I know how I see a man physically will determine everything. If I'm not attracted, why bother? If I am and we can hold a conversation then great, but if I'm not attracted, I'm not going to stick around to "hear" why I should be. Maybe that's shallow, but it's the truth.
  • SouthernSweetie74SouthernSweetie74 Member Posts: 844 Member Posts: 844
    It is probably true for me.

    But it's not about how suave or debonair he is... or about him saying all the "right" things... it's about our conversations... Can he hold an intelligent conversation for more than ten minutes without bringing his penis into it? What's important to him? He will talk about what's important to him. If all he talks about is having sex or partying with his buddies, chances are, we are not a match. Does he brag about how much money he has or how big his muscles are or how hot he is? I'm thinking he's probably really insecure... or way too egotistical for my taste. Are the words coming out of his mouth always negative or are they uplifting and encouraging?

    And, by the way... actions speak louder than words...

    But some words are very nice to hear.
  • MikeM53082MikeM53082 Member Posts: 1,201 Member Member Posts: 1,201 Member
    Sooo, I think I've read on here multiple men joking about falling in love every time they see a beautiful woman. I've also read a ton of messages on here for women who fall for all the words men say but don't back up with action (me being one of them). So, yeah, I can see this being true.

    I was told once that men decide quickly if they're rather date you or sleep with you, and then, assuming they'd be willing to have sex, they get to know your personality to decide if there is something really there.

    I think women do the opposite (to a point). I tend to fall for words first then become attracted to someone regardless of appearance. Clearly that isn't working well. Maybe I just need to start hitting on guys that look good, haha....

    Well, that is lust at first sight and it definitely exists. I can size up a woman in under 3 seconds to see if I'm interested or not.

    However, most men I know have went out with women who they might have not been interested in immediately, but we go out with them for the heck of it (maybe we find her interesting). However, if the guy isn't attracted to her, I just don't think a man could fall in love and be with her for the long term. That's my take.

    I was wondering if the same thing goes for women. But, replacing looks with a guy who's interesting and a good talker (hence, the fall in love with their ears part).
  • kristen6022kristen6022 Member Posts: 1,928 Member Member Posts: 1,928 Member
    I definitely think that men fall in LUST with their eyes. But I think it takes a bit more to fall in LOVE with a woman. I'd hope that my guy would fall in love with me for the whole package, not just what he sees on the outside.

    Women do tend to "fall" for a guy that tells them the things they want to hear, but I need to enjoy what I'm looking at as well. I also need the guy to "show" me he loves me. Words only go so far...
  • The_IronThe_Iron Member Posts: 288 Member Posts: 288
    From my experience, whether it be through humor, charisma, articulation... women definitely fall easier for a guy that can talk a good game. Words are very powerful so it's best to know how to use them!
  • La_AmazonaLa_Amazona Member Posts: 4,867 Member Member Posts: 4,867 Member
    I def am physically attracted first. Like you, if I'm not 100% attracted, I'll usually pass it up.
    My ex bf was an exception, I guess. I wasn't 100% physically attracted but fell for him during our 2nd date when seeing his personality shine through. Although, honestly I questioned my feelings for him constantly (not that into him?).

    But there is something that switches inside of me (butterflies) when a guy I'm 100% attracted to, has a sweet side along with a great personality.
  • Carl01Carl01 Member Posts: 9,576 Member Member Posts: 9,576 Member
    There is an element of basic truth in it but the whole issue is too complex to sum up in a single sentence.

    Perhaps more accurate is that men are attracted far more to the physical both in appearance and in contact whereas women art attracted far more by abstracts such as sense of humor,actions that unique to them give them a romantic feeling etc.

    This of course is not an exact statement as obviously women are generally not going to find a physically unattractive man appealing no matter what.
    Yes there are exceptions but rare.

    On the other hand most men will not be happy long term with a perfect 10 that is an imbecile or a b!tch most of the time.
  • Roadie2000Roadie2000 Member Posts: 1,803 Member Member Posts: 1,803 Member
    I fall in love with my eyes, but fall out of love with my ears. A lot of times I've been really attracted to someone physically, but the minute they open their mouth it's ruined for me.
  • SweetBasil35SweetBasil35 Member Posts: 126 Member Member Posts: 126 Member
    I hate to admit that I fall into the box of a "sound byte" from Dr. Phil, but I think it's really true. I find that I have perfect chemistry with men who aren't super attractive... but think that I am! LOL Saying all the right things will make me fall for him, but it's his ability to DO the things he talks about (and live his values) that keeps me in love with him.
  • BelMckenzieBelMckenzie Member Posts: 249 Member Posts: 249
    I agree with this. I tend to fall in love with my ears. I have dated many guys that if I had met online would not have given a second look at their photo, but I am more fascinated by what they say and the way they look at me that I become attracted to them that way. It's odd, my other single friend is the exact opposite and questions my taste all the time, but I tend to form an attraction from words more then looks.
  • LALOCHA34LALOCHA34 Member Posts: 365 Member Posts: 365
    I can find this to be fairly accurate. I have done the fall in love with ears AND I have also done the fall in love with eyes. I want the best of both worlds. Don't we all. :smile:
  • TheKitsune6TheKitsune6 Member Posts: 5,798 Member Member Posts: 5,798 Member
    Fall in "love"? Or willing to get to the thrown down part of the relationship (lust? Infatuation? Cupidity? Lechery!)
  • MikeM53082MikeM53082 Member Posts: 1,201 Member Member Posts: 1,201 Member
    Fall in "love"? Or willing to get to the thrown down part of the relationship (lust? Infatuation? Cupidity? Lechery!)

    Nope, I'm talking about actual love. I don't think I could truly love someone forever if I'm not 100% attracted to them.
  • LoggingForLifeLoggingForLife Member Posts: 504 Member Member Posts: 504 Member
    I think my ears are cute, but falling in love with them? No. ;0)
  • TheKitsune6TheKitsune6 Member Posts: 5,798 Member Member Posts: 5,798 Member
    Fall in "love"? Or willing to get to the thrown down part of the relationship (lust? Infatuation? Cupidity? Lechery!)

    Nope, I'm talking about actual love. I don't think I could truly love someone forever if I'm not 100% attracted to them.

    If I remember correct, you like older women. What are you gonna do in 20 years when things start to go south (literally). Will you still be 100% attracted to her, or is that when you trade in for a newer model? I'm just assuming you aren't crazy about geriatric appearances now, which means then you probably won't love her with your eyes at that point, will you?
  • kerrymhkerrymh Member Posts: 912 Member Member Posts: 912 Member
    I know that if I'm physically attracted to someone based on appearance only but he's just got nothing to say or he has too much to say and isn't interested in learning about me..I won't fall for him. Date 1 and that's it.
    I have dated someone I barely found attractive and continued to date him because we had things in common and made good friends but the chemistry wasn't there..and he didn't get any hotter to me over time..so while that lasted longer it still ultimately did not lead to love.
    For love it has to be that mysterious combo of eye and ears for me..perhaps why I've never really fallen in love. Well I did but he didn't feel the same way..and I had to get over it and be accepting..such is life.
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