low self esteem day

hcoburn37

I agreed to meet a fellow that I've been talking to on POF, but I'm really nervous because all my pictures on there are above the waist .... one of my biggest fears of being single is that my dates will be completely turned off in person, even if the communication is going great via electronic technology.

Anybody else have these issues and if so, how did you overcome them?

kristen6022

Who's to say you are "turned on" by him? You may show up and his pics are from 10 years ago and he's gained 50 lbs since. With Blind or Internet dating there is no guarantee the other person is going to be your "bees knees".

I typically put on the outfit I feel the most "hot" in and go in there with the attitude that he'd be lucky to win you over. You are going in on a very level playing field. You have to believe that he's lucky to be getting a date with you!

Good luck! Let us know what happens!

Carl01

Looked at your pictures here and trust me,you have nothing to be worried about. :flowerforyou:

AnnaPixie

Seriously, you're too gorgeous to worry about your hips!!

If a guy doen't like ME for me, then I have no interest in HIM!!

Honour yourself and stop listening to your insecurities :flowerforyou:

MikeM53082

I agreed to meet a fellow that I've been talking to on POF, but I'm really nervous because all my pictures on there are above the waist .... one of my biggest fears of being single is that my dates will be completely turned off in person, even if the communication is going great via electronic technology.

Anybody else have these issues and if so, how did you overcome them?

I don't think you have anything to worry about. But, I would post some full body shots on POF (you have them on here).

onedayillbeamilf

I've been worried about the same thing before. The very first guy I ever met online I'd been talking to for a few months. I told him I was needing to lose a very large amount of weight. Blah blah blah. When he came to pic me up for our first date, I.rounded the corner to meet him and he took one look at me, hung his head and started walking the other direction. Then while on the date he kept looking at my stomach and asking how much I'm trying to lose. But you know what, he wasn't all that attractive himself. He was one out of 5 guys that I've met online. None of the others did that. They were *kitten* in many other ways. And typically, I worry and worry what they'll think of me, but when we meet I'm usually the one disappointed and I have to remind myself its not about looks.

I vote don't worry about what he thinks of you. Be confident in yourself.

LALOCHA34

I am sure you will be fine. From looking at the pictures you have on here you look great. Don't be nervous. Just go into it with your head high, wear your best smile and try to relax and have a good time. There really should not be so much pressure when it comes to first dates.

You haven't invested much more than electronic exchanges so if the date is a hit...great, if it is not..there are still POF out there!

Good luck.

eta: As Mike said, add your full body pictures. If I was on a dating site I would do exactly that. I feel good about myself and it looks like you do too so go with it. I use to have a profile and I would even post pictures of me with little to no makeup, of course I don't wear a ton anyway. I have no shame. Ha ha.

When you are confident it shows and it is very sexy. No low self esteem for you!

hcoburn37

thanks for the responses ... I am going to go into this with a positive outlook, sometimes the ghosts of past comes back to haunt us.

farmers_daughter

Add the full body pictures then that's one less worry on your mind when you actually meet him. :flowerforyou:

JanieJack

Who's to say you are "turned on" by him? You may show up and his pics are from 10 years ago and he's gained 50 lbs since. With Blind or Internet dating there is no guarantee the other person is going to be your "bees knees".

I typically put on the outfit I feel the most "hot" in and go in there with the attitude that he'd be lucky to win you over. You are going in on a very level playing field. You have to believe that he's lucky to be getting a date with you!

THIS THIS THIS! You are gorgeous, don't worry about it! If he's not into you, his loss!!


That said, I am one of those chameleon types that look different every 5 minutes. The guy I'm getting to know right now is size XXL but some pictures I look twice as broad as him. In others, I look half his size. My hair can be straight or curly, depending on the weather. I wear contacts but sometimes glasses.

SO I make sure my online profiles show all kinds of pictures of me doing all kinds of things (full body too) and all kinds of hairstyles.

That way if the guy is disappointed or upset it's his own fault. He must not have paid good attention to the pictures. Put that full body shot out there and this will be one less thing to worry about!

Actually, if you put the full body shot out there, you might get more attention. I've been told that some guys don't approach women online if all they have are head and shoulders shots.

kerrymh

I just make sure I have full body pictures on my profile. That way no surprises. They can't tell me they didn't know what to expect.
You look great in your profile pictures on MFP why don't put them on POF? I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Also don't make the classic self esteem mistake of being focused completely on "will he like me" also remember to focus on "do I like him?"!

Moe4572

I just make sure I have full body pictures on my profile. That way no surprises. They can't tell me they didn't know what to expect.
You look great in your profile pictures on MFP why don't put them on POF? I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Also don't make the classic self esteem mistake of being focused completely on "will he like me" also remember to focus on "do I like him?"!

kerry...great new pic!

SouthernSweetie74

I agree with everyone else! You have nothing to worry about.

But I have totally done the same thing. Back in May, I started talking to a man online... I had just gotten divorced... I had pictures up, even full body shots, but I was WORRIED about what he would think in person. Well, guess what. When I met him, he was about 40 lbs heavier and at least 5 years older than the man in the pics. LOL And he was very happy with what he saw. I was, too, though... don't get me wrong. He was very good looking to me. He was tall and big and strong and had these great arms... he was a great kisser, too. :blushing:

I was wearing jeans the first time we met. Our second meeting? It was getting warmer outside, and I fretted about whether to wear shorts or not. Oh my gosh. I was sooo stupidly nervous. I didn't know what he would think about my legs. LOL I opted for an outfit that I would normally wear (if not worried) and went to see him. My confidence grew as I stopped at a gas station and all the men I came in contact with were eyeing me. When I finally met up with him... and again, he liked what he saw.... it was great. We lasted about a month... but due to our circumstances and distance, it just didn't work out.

So... just be yourself. Have fun. Go. Don't worry. Like someone else said, who knows... he may look differently than his pics.

SouthernSweetie74

I just make sure I have full body pictures on my profile. That way no surprises. They can't tell me they didn't know what to expect.
You look great in your profile pictures on MFP why don't put them on POF? I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Also don't make the classic self esteem mistake of being focused completely on "will he like me" also remember to focus on "do I like him?"!

That's what I do. No surprises from me. It works well that way.

And, you are gorgeous, Kerry. Love the new pic.

Oh, and I'm learning to focus on the "do I like him" instead of the "will he like me"...

JanieJack

When I met him, he was about 40 lbs heavier and at least 5 years older than the man in the pics. LOL And he was very happy with what he saw. I was, too, though... don't get me wrong. He was very good looking to me.

haha yes! very few of the men I've met online looked like their pictures!!

I said yes to one guy who looked way too young only because I was on the rebound. Imagine my surprise when he turned out to be about 10 years older than his pic (perfect age for me!!). Unfortunately, I didn’t know HOW to tell him, “you look much better than your pictures” without also tacking on “because you look much older in person.” I just settled on “you look nice.”

SouthernSweetie74

I recently (okay, back in April, maybe) talked with a firefighter from match.com. We texted for a few days, even talked about meeting up. But it was one of those times when I was also talking to someone else and, well, the someone else was just a little more persistent, so he won... Anyway, I deleted my match profile. Fast forward a few months. I was browsing through another dating site and saw the same main image for my firefighter man, so I clicked on it... yeah, I was checking him out again... and low and behold, there was a new picture. And I almost fell out. The pic of this man was a much older version of the main image. He went from having a head full of dark brown/black hair (ooh la la) to having thinner (not bald, just thinner) silver hair... and well, just older. I was like, wow, really... that's the same guy.. ha ha... guess he decided to get honest...

Another guy I met... well, I was told where he was sitting at this table. I walk in and walked right past this old man, looking for my date. Turns out the old man was my date. LOL

kerrymh

First of all..I can't have low self esteem with you girls boosting my ego..thanks :blushing:

And Oh boy I never make the mistake of not atleast having a picture to go by now days. And I hope its fresh. I am so used to meeting up now for that first meeting that I don't get nervous very often any more. I just go as I am, with a fresh up of my minimal make up and they can take of leave me like that. I'm still single...lol but I am me. I'm not getting all fancied up for a 5$ starbucks that I will likely have to pay for.

hcoburn37

Ok ... so I will add a full body picture to my profile, that actually will help me stop worrying a little. I also have pictures of me with curly hair and straight hair, and Contacts or glasses. I end up getting a lot more compliments with my glasses on than contacts...which to me was shocking.

kerrymh

Men like the sexy librarian fantasy..I get lots of compliments on the glasses too.

yoovie

I put up full body pictures so i never have to worry about that part... only the moment when they realize im so tall that they can look me in the eye.

La_Amazona

I have 2-3 full body pics and I still get nervous. But I would suggest putting some up to ease your nerves a bit.

Good luck!!

I have a pretty curvy body (hips) and most guys seem to like them.

I think guys are worried more if your pics are just super old or your body in the pic is completely deceiving (>20lbs).

Anytime I put a pic up, I also put date I took the pic and I've been told its helpful.