Entrapment with fake online profiles

JanieJack

Stumbled across a blog post on why we should cool it with the cyberstalking of our dates. What really caught my eye was a comment in which one guy tells the story about creating a fake profile to entrap his ex girlfriend. A lot of people jumped on him as a total jerk. I actually didn't think it was a jerky thing to do... especially since she bit and arranged a date with the guys "alter ego."

What do you think about such entrapment?



For the curious, here's the original article. I've never been on this site before, so can't vouch for it ;-)
http://andthatswhyyouresingle.com/2011/02/18/does-their-digital-footprint-mean-theyre-cheating/

Natx83

I don't know it's pretty borderline... Seeing it was his wife and his life I'm sure he would rather know he was living a lie than find out years later.

Carl01

If a relationship/marriage has devolved to a point one party feels the need to do this it is likely the response will not be what they want.

arewethereyet

I blame Jimmy Buffet and those damn Pina Colada's :laugh:

Seriously though. I found a profile of someone I know very well. This person never spent more than 5 minutes 'walking on the beach at sunrise' but there it was for all the wimmin folk to believe. Also said this person didn't smoke. Uh, maybe not more than 2 packs a day:huh:

Point is anyone can write anything. After reading that I closed up or stopped looking at my on line dating stuff. What is real?

JanieJack

I almost hate to admit it, but a friend and I did this a couple years ago- we created a fake profile and viewed the Match.com pages of the guys we were seeing (no wink or contact or anything, just viewing). I was soooo sure the guy I was seeing at the time wouldn't bite (even though we weren't exclusive) since I thought he was really into me. Not only did he bite, but he chatted a lot more with our fake profile than with me. That hurt. But I figured it was my bad for thinking we were "exclusive" too soon and still set up another date. That next time we were together I casually mentioned how I was still getting used to being single in a world where people date casually. He insisted he wasn't pursuing any other women and I just couldn't get over it. I refused his advances, and scrambled to come up with a reason why b/c I was too embarrassed to tell him I was one of the ladies behind the fake profile.

pa_jorg

I blame Jimmy Buffet and those damn Pina Colada's :laugh:

I believe you mean Rupert Holmes... pretty sure he was a one hit wonder. But I still LOVE that song! :laugh:
Where's Nerple when you need him for music trivia?

DMZ_1

I believe you mean Rupert Holmes... pretty sure he was a one hit wonder. But I still LOVE that song! :laugh:
Where's Nerple when you need him for music trivia?

Rupert Holmes-Escape (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFldGN3bXBU)

MikeM53082

I almost hate to admit it, but a friend and I did this a couple years ago- we created a fake profile and viewed the Match.com pages of the guys we were seeing (no wink or contact or anything, just viewing). I was soooo sure the guy I was seeing at the time wouldn't bite (even though we weren't exclusive) since I thought he was really into me. Not only did he bite, but he chatted a lot more with our fake profile than with me. That hurt. But I figured it was my bad for thinking we were "exclusive" too soon and still set up another date. That next time we were together I casually mentioned how I was still getting used to being single in a world where people date casually. He insisted he wasn't pursuing any other women and I just couldn't get over it. I refused his advances, and scrambled to come up with a reason why b/c I was too embarrassed to tell him I was one of the ladies behind the fake profile.

Well aren't you sneaky! What did you expect to happen though? He was still logging into match.com, you had to expect he was still talking to other girls.

He probably saw that your "bait profile" viewed his profile. And of course, if he was attracted to the bait, he's going to act on it.

I see nothing wrong with a little entrapment, but just be willing to see the results of it.

JanieJack

That next time we were together I casually mentioned how I was still getting used to being single in a world where people date casually. He insisted he wasn't pursuing any other women and I just couldn't get over it. I refused his advances, and scrambled to come up with a reason why b/c I was too embarrassed to tell him I was one of the ladies behind the fake profile.

What did you expect to happen though? He was still logging into match.com, you had to expect he was still talking to other girls.

Actually, my friend suspected her man was still on Match. I was pretty sure mine wasn't actively logging in. I hadn't logged in for awhile myself since the phone app back then crashed my phone. Plus, he was saying all the right things about how awesome I was and he was scheduling dates before one ended, texting often when either of us were out of town. I actually thought I would end up gloating.

Why would you assume I didn't like the results? Because of this, I accepted a date with someone else who'd been asking for quite some time (but I kept putting off b/c I was seeing guy#1). We eventually realized our lifestyles were incompatible, and broke up, but he's the guy I always talk about as "my favorite boyfriend." I'm vain enough to think Guy#1 is the one who lost out, not me.

A_Valerie

This is exactly how I found out my husband(now ex) was cheating. I created a fake quick and dirty profile on match and found his profile in under 5 minutes. Guessed his password and was able to see that he had been winking, emailing women on match.com. He had on his profile that he was divorced so I made an honest man of him and served him divorce papers.

So I am all in favor of doing a little research if you feel that something is wrong.

jenbit

Hmmm maybe Im just to trusting. Ive never done this and honestly it sounds exhausting. I also dont go in anyones cellphone or snoop in their pockets. (Unless Im doing laundry but thats cause Im tired of pulling paper out of my filter) I would just rather believe someone. If I dont feel I can trust them then there is no reason to be dating them.

poncho33

Hmmm maybe Im just to trusting. Ive never done this and honestly it sounds exhausting. I also dont go in anyones cellphone or snoop in their pockets. (Unless Im doing laundry but thats cause Im tired of pulling paper out of my filter) I would just rather believe someone. If I dont feel I can trust them then there is no reason to be dating them.

^^^nailed it!

TheKitsune6

Hmmm maybe Im just to trusting. Ive never done this and honestly it sounds exhausting. I also dont go in anyones cellphone or snoop in their pockets. (Unless Im doing laundry but thats cause Im tired of pulling paper out of my filter) I would just rather believe someone. If I dont feel I can trust them then there is no reason to be dating them.

^^^nailed it!

Ditto. Jealousy is way too exhausting to bother with. It's also a sign of an unhealthy relationship so I'd rather just drop the whole thing than worry constantly.

AnnaPixie

Hmmm maybe Im just to trusting. Ive never done this and honestly it sounds exhausting. I also dont go in anyones cellphone or snoop in their pockets. (Unless Im doing laundry but thats cause Im tired of pulling paper out of my filter) I would just rather believe someone. If I dont feel I can trust them then there is no reason to be dating them.

^^^nailed it!

Ditto. Jealousy is way too exhausting to bother with. It's also a sign of an unhealthy relationship so I'd rather just drop the whole thing than worry constantly.

^^^x3. I would be leaving someone way before I decided I needed to trap them. I either trust someone 100% or I don't hang around

La_Amazona

Way too much work!!! After ex cheated, I did go into spy mode for a but to "make sure" he wasn't doing it again.... Such a waste of time.

I am proud to say that I have never went through anybody's phone or lied to find out if they're lying (ironic?) since. If I feel I need to either I need to work on some issues or I shouldn't be dating him.

SouthernSweetie74

Hmmm maybe Im just to trusting. Ive never done this and honestly it sounds exhausting. I also dont go in anyones cellphone or snoop in their pockets. (Unless Im doing laundry but thats cause Im tired of pulling paper out of my filter) I would just rather believe someone. If I dont feel I can trust them then there is no reason to be dating them.

^^^nailed it!

Ditto. Jealousy is way too exhausting to bother with. It's also a sign of an unhealthy relationship so I'd rather just drop the whole thing than worry constantly.

^^^x3. I would be leaving someone way before I decided I needed to trap them. I either trust someone 100% or I don't hang around

I'm in agreement with all of you !

takingnameskickingbutt

Just to be a nerd ... entrapment is what cops do thieves.