Ouch! This was painful to read!!

JanieJack

This email is either hilarious or I really need to get to bed!!!

http://www.theluxuryspot.com/possibly-the-best-break-up-email-ive-ever-seen/

here's an excerpt:

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.

If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

JanieJack

Here it is, just in case you can't get the link:

This email was forwarded to me by my darling friend… she’s the best. This guy, however, isn’t:

—— Forwarded Message
From:
Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2011 14:19:39 -0500
To:
Subject: Hi Lauren

Hi Lauren,

I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.

I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.

-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.

-You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.

-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it’s difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).

I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.

Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.

If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind.
In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.

If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on.
We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date.

Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so.

In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.

Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it’s better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.

If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it’s not perfect. Again, I’m not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I’m disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.

Best,
Mike

Mom2rh

Wow. I couldn't even read it all. I'm sure whomever he sent that too was seriously relieved she poofed.

Laura_Suzie

:noway:

There are no words...

He even admits to internet stalking her... :noway:

I will admit while I was reading this, the voice reading it in my head sounded like Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory". :laugh: This guy must have some serious social disorder... or he is just a straight-up creep...

Natx83

Hahahaha. Wow. There's only so much rejection a person can take. For his sake I hope it's just a brain snap.

kerrymh

Wow, I mean WOW,

So did she tell you what the initial date was like? About why she didn't want to have a second date with him? Did his "crazy" show on the date before the email?

MissingMinnesota

:noway:

Some people play with their hair when nervious and she was probably playing with it because he was creeping her out.

MikeM53082

This is a great example of what not to do. I found it odd that this e-mail was written by a man, as in my experience, this would be more characteristic of something a girl would do. I've gotten similar e-mails (though not as long and painful) from women I've went on one date with and not interested in one bit. Granted, I'm irresistible, but come one ladies :smokin:

In my opinion, no woman (or man) is ever worth chasing this hard regardless of whatever connection you felt on the first date. I just couldn't imagine putting that much time and effort in an email basically begging someone to hang out again. Sad.

dbrightwell1270

This after one date? If I break up with someone after 6 months or a year, I don't have this much thought about what I should have said in our last meeting.

shammxo

He's very thorough! I think he covered all of the bases.

Mellie289

OMG! This guy is such a nutcase. I love reading comments on this sort of thing because there's always going to be someone to defend the warped perspective (I stopped reading after three people supported him).

There is a wonderful surprise in the comments though... a link to ANOTHER email by Mike to someone whom he felt rejected him as a friend! This just cements how delusional this guy is!

http://www.theluxuryspot.com/theres-more-to-the-break-up-email-guy/
Pasting the contents below:

Dear Luxury Spot,

Regarding your post today for worst breakup letter ever, you’re not going to believe this, but I got a similarly written letter from the same guy (“Mike”) just a few months ago… A little background: I met this guy maybe 5 years ago when I advertised a space on Craigslist that I was renting out for film shoots. We met for literally 45 seconds during which he saw the space, asked a few questions about it, then left, saying he’d be in touch. After that he repeatedly called and sent e-mails claiming that we should be in a relationship (based solely on his astute observation that “I didn’t have a ring on my finger and was obviously a lover of the arts”), until I finally had to threaten to contact the police if he ever called or emailed me again. Recently he attempted to contact me for a “reconciliation” and asked to meet up. He followed it up with this letter which, as you can see, contains many of the same sentences and stylistic details as the one you posted today. Clearly he uses a template! I have to say I was relieved to see your post because I was starting to feel really freaked out that he was contacting me again…but it seems he’s moved on:

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: [ Mike ]
Date: Sat, Oct 22, 2011 at 11:51 AM
Subject: Re: Hi Danielle
To: Danielle

Hi Danielle,

I’m disappointed. In my opinion, we should have met. I think we should meet. We could be friends. Even though you treated me badly in the past, I contacted you in May in the spirit of reconciliation, humanity, and generosity. I think meeting would have been the right thing to do. After all, I explicitly mentioned that I wasn’t asking you out on a date (see my email sent in May below). Why did I ask you if you were in a relationship? I asked that because I’m a curious person by nature. The more information I know, the better. The more information I know about a situation, the more I know what to expect (and not expect) from the situation. If I didn’t ask you in the email, I would have asked in person if we had met.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email.

I’ve considered the possibility that you might have a boyfriend now. But if I were your boyfriend, I wouldn’t have a problem if you had met with me. After all, it wouldn’t be a date and we wouldn’t be doing anything romantic; it would just be platonic. In fact, I once dated a woman and she went out platonically with her ex-boyfriend on a regular basis and I didn’t have a problem with that. Obviously, I practice my own philosophy. People shouldn’t be possessive. When people are in a relationship, they should trust each other. Your boyfriend should trust you with respect to your going out with other people.

I wish you would appreciate how much we had in common. We presumably still have a lot in common. (I’m assuming that your current personality is similar to your personality several years ago.) People don’t grow on trees. I can definitely envision us being friends–great friends actually. In my opinion, if we don’t become friends, it would be a shame and tragic in a micro sense. (An example of something tragic in a macro sense would be an earthquake that kills a lot of people.) Loyalty is a quality that I value a great deal. I wish you were loyal to me. Obviously, if a friendship is a two-way street. If you don’t want to be friends, then it’s your fault. It’s not my fault, I reached out this year. Several years have gone by; enough time has passed since 2006. Before you hung up on me the last time we talked, you said you were “sorry.” Well, this is the opportunity for a reconciliation. After sending this email, there isn’t much more for me to say on the issue of friendship between us.

I hope you appreciate that I’m very intelligent and have excellent judgment. (By the way, I certainly don’t think I’m perfect.) I displayed excellent judgment even when I was anxious in 2006. I didn’t over-idealize you; I was right about how much we had in common. In addition, I was correct when I stated that you were mistaken when you said that you were not interested in a relationship. I said that you were too young and that, unless something horrible happened to you (e.g., your getting hit by a truck), you would get into a relationship in the future. That seems to have turned out to be the case.

In terms of human interaction, there is a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, people don’t socialize at all. At the other end of the spectrum, people spend the rest of their lives together. There’s a lot of scenarios in between those extremes. It shouldn’t be an all-or-nothing thing. I understand that it is common for two people to not socialize after a romance doesn’t work out (or after a romance doesn’t materialize). However, just because something is common doesn’t necessarily mean it is optimal. For example, obesity is common in many countries (including the U.S.). However, being obese is not optimal.

In my opinion, we should meet and be friends. If you want to meet, then let me know and I can call you and we can make plans to meet. If you don’t want to meet, I would appreciate it if you would email me back to let me know that you have read my email.

Best,

Mike

dbrightwell1270

These emails convinced me that I was wrong and I should give Mike a chance.






























SAID NO ONE EVER!!!!

DMZ_1

What is this guy's problem?

He needs to seriously chill.

castadiva

I saw these two emails a few months back when they were doing the rounds online (I think there was even an article about this chap in the free morning newspaper in London!), and wondered at the time whether he maybe had an undiagnosed autism-spectrum disorder. If not...just WOW!! :noway: Socially awkward I may have been in my teenage years, but I was nowhere near that bad! Not even in the same order of magnitude of awkward.:happy:

jenbit

Wooooooowwwww. This guy needs meds ,or a hobbie , or both . This is crazy why would he think it would get the ladies to contact him . If anything hes gonna end up on a stalker watchlist of something

pammbroo

Life is all about perspective, and we all have our own baggage/negative crap we carry around.....I'm feeling pretty fabulous about mine right now. Wow! :laugh:

TheKitsune6

I... this... it can't be real. It hurts my soul.

MissingMinnesota

Life is all about perspective, and we all have our own baggage/negative crap we carry around.....I'm feeling pretty fabulous about mine right now. Wow! :laugh:

Love this comment!

oddyogi

I bet she's not going to be going to the NY Philharmonic by herself anymore.


























...WAIT! People don't grow on trees?! :huh:

jesusHchris

That guy is awesome and I bet he would be a blast to party with. And by "party with" I mean drive the van while he throws the roofied chicks into the windowless and tarpaulin covered back.

I did once reach out to a girl and ask if I'd been blown off. I'd known her for years, though, we had been dating for a few months, and it was a one sentence email that said "No hard feelings, but I'm dying to know - why the blow off?"

I felt like an idiot for even sending that. Now I feel much better.

MissingMinnesota

That guy is awesome and I bet he would be a blast to party with. And by "party with" I mean drive the van while he throws the roofied chicks into the windowless and tarpaulin covered back.

I did once reach out to a girl and ask if I'd been blown off. I'd known her for years, though, we had been dating for a few months, and it was a one sentence email that said "No hard feelings, but I'm dying to know - why the blow off?"

I felt like an idiot for even sending that. Now I feel much better.

Did you get a response?

jesusHchris

That guy is awesome and I bet he would be a blast to party with. And by "party with" I mean drive the van while he throws the roofied chicks into the windowless and tarpaulin covered back.

I did once reach out to a girl and ask if I'd been blown off. I'd known her for years, though, we had been dating for a few months, and it was a one sentence email that said "No hard feelings, but I'm dying to know - why the blow off?"

I felt like an idiot for even sending that. Now I feel much better.

Did you get a response?

Yeah it said something like "I've been really busy with work - I swear I am not blowing you off!" and talked about how she wanted to hang out again soon. I never heard from her again. Haha.

sunnymel126

That was painful to read.

I'm glad for her there is no 2nd date... he might have kept her in his basement forever.

Put the lotion in the basket... haha

MaraDiaz

I'd bet all the money in my wallet (at least three dollars!) that this guy is on the autism spectrum somewhere. Kinda like his style, in a strange way. Too bad I don't care for most classical music.