Guys: Do you feel “Waiting For Sex” means you have to
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JanieJack
Posts: 3,830 Member
Guys: Do You Feel “Waiting For Sex” Means You Have to Prove Yourselves
Question for the guys: When a woman tells you she’s “Waiting For Sex” do you feel like that means you have to prove yourselves? If so, what exactly does that mean?
I’ve been hearing that a lot lately in the PMs I get, but I don’t understand it. What I understand by proving oneself is not offensive… For example, I kinda expect a guy to make me “prove myself” before he’ll let me borrow his car, or meet his kids… but I don’t take offense to this the way guys have been offended lately about “waiting”
It actually took me a long time to be honest with guys about waiting. Because they almost always dump you when they find out. I used to just try to evade it and say things like “not yet.”
For me, waiting for marriage is not about making a man prove himself. It’s about honoring God, something that is important to me (even though I know it’s not important to most people today). I feel waiting has certain side effect benefits for me, which may not apply to others:
1. When a man makes me feel good, it overrides my intellect and causes me to cling to him regardless of how horribly he treats me, so even if I wasn’t religious, I would want to wait some time before having sex.
2. One of the huge down falls of military marriages is the spouse cheating while the military member is deployed. Not everyone can HANDLE being married to someone who disappears 6-18 months at a time. Waiting to have sex shows we can handle the circumstances. It’s not a “prove yourself” but more like a “is your personality compatible with my lifestyle.” I don’t fault people who can’t go without intimate human touch that long, but OTOH, they would not make good mates for someone military.
Question for the guys: When a woman tells you she’s “Waiting For Sex” do you feel like that means you have to prove yourselves? If so, what exactly does that mean?
I’ve been hearing that a lot lately in the PMs I get, but I don’t understand it. What I understand by proving oneself is not offensive… For example, I kinda expect a guy to make me “prove myself” before he’ll let me borrow his car, or meet his kids… but I don’t take offense to this the way guys have been offended lately about “waiting”
It actually took me a long time to be honest with guys about waiting. Because they almost always dump you when they find out. I used to just try to evade it and say things like “not yet.”
For me, waiting for marriage is not about making a man prove himself. It’s about honoring God, something that is important to me (even though I know it’s not important to most people today). I feel waiting has certain side effect benefits for me, which may not apply to others:
1. When a man makes me feel good, it overrides my intellect and causes me to cling to him regardless of how horribly he treats me, so even if I wasn’t religious, I would want to wait some time before having sex.
2. One of the huge down falls of military marriages is the spouse cheating while the military member is deployed. Not everyone can HANDLE being married to someone who disappears 6-18 months at a time. Waiting to have sex shows we can handle the circumstances. It’s not a “prove yourself” but more like a “is your personality compatible with my lifestyle.” I don’t fault people who can’t go without intimate human touch that long, but OTOH, they would not make good mates for someone military.
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After all, a sexual encounter has the potential to affect one’s life forever… even if they take precautions, pregnancy, STDs, etc can all be permanent. If I’m allowing someone potential long-term power over my life, I kinda want to make sure they’re in it for the long haul.0
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