I can't keep up!
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I am afraid though, that if I don't get control of the mess, he will learn that a messy house is acceptable.
You just have to ramp it up over time. When my son was 3, he did “cleaning” that wasn’t real (that is, I would clean with him). Then, when he got older I would make him do some things knowing I’d have to go behind him (like vacuuming and his room and the car). Now, he does his bathroom, his bedroom, the backseat of the car (and wash the car- but most kids think that’s fun, not work) and I’m having him “wash” dishes that I’ve already cleaned or are only lightly soiled. Soon he will wash them for real.
As he’s became more capable the house is cleaner overall because I have more time for deeper cleaning elsewhere. He’s now used to a “guest ready” clean house where the only constant offender is dishes in the sink.
Now that he’s become quite a social butterfly, the impact of having a clean house when friends show up is a huge motivator!0 -
My girl has been a straight A student in the gifted program up to this point , progress reports came out and she had a D. I explained to her that part of the reason she was doing manual labor was to make sure that she understood that this is what she would be doing all her life if she couldnt keep her grades up and go to college. I think she is getting the point lol.
College is not a pathway out of dead end jobs. Right now, about half of recent college graduates are unemployed or working menial jobs that are more suited for those with only a high school diploma, like barista at Starbucks. (http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/04/53-of-recent-college-grads-are-jobless-or-underemployed-how/256237/ )
True but a 9 yr old doesn't understand that and who says where the stats will be when she graduates college. Besides she wants to be a vet0 -
I have been thinking about doing a Mama chore chart and a Donovan chore chart. When I take care of something he gets to put a sticker up for me and vice versa. He loves stickers. lol0
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i work 2 jobs and I get it all done, but only manage about 4 hours of sleep a night.0
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A good single parent has
Sticky Kitchen Floors,
Messy Rooms,
Laundry Piles,
Unwashed Dishes,
and Happy Kids!
My house is constantly messy, it's not dirty, just messy, I'm always behind on the laundry, my house gets cleaner when company is going to visit, (I have to say I'm on top of the bills, what I can pay anyway...I'm paranoid about that ) becauseI could give a rats flying *kitten* less....if you are going to judge me for my messy house then you can take a hike.
I have kids, and it's likely that if you judge me you don't have kids and can have absolutley NO idea what it's like to pick up after little people and yourself... and do it all yourself. If you have kids and you judge me, you will likely end up on judgement day scraping gum off of the bottoms of tables in heaven.... have fun!
I've sent my kids to school in clothes they wore the other day, that haven't been washed yet, and weren't completely dirty. They are happy, healthy, and no one has made fun of them thus far. We've gone a couple days without a bath if we aren't dirty, we've done alot of things in the name of peace.
Maybe I'm a little bitter but unfortunately I guess I'm hard on myself in the fact that yes, it was a horrible marriage and it was better to get out of it, he never helped with any of the cleaning or bill paying anyhows. I guess I see it as I decided to do this on my own and if this is the best I can do, I'm ok with it. If i wanna take a time out and watch the mess grow....so be it. I also know I'm the only one who's gonna pick it up anyway.... unless my youngest child is feeling overly agreeable.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Bribery is not a horrible thing, just make sure the bribe is "do-able"
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I have been thinking about doing a Mama chore chart and a Donovan chore chart. When I take care of something he gets to put a sticker up for me and vice versa. He loves stickers. lol
Meghan, I think that is a great idea! My 6 year old can definitely start helping out more and my 3 year old loves getting treats for stuff. I'm lucky right now cause I live with my parents (yes and I'm glad I did). I am now caught up on bills and don't have to worry about my girls being taken care of during the day while I'm at work. I will definitely have to start something like this for my girls so that they start to help around the house.0 -
Lots of bins! Storage bins to throw toys in, mail, etc. etc. Helps a bit with the clutter and the overwhelming feeling it can give you. Turn clean-up time into a game with your son. I'm all about child labor (still pick on the college kids and thoroughly enjoy it). Start with little easy chores and as he gets older, increase his responsibilities. What you end up with a kid who has some training in keeping house and being self sufficient. I had my son helping with his laundry at age 11. I used to tell him we are a team, and we need to work together to take care of our home and get things done. While it certainly wasn't anything he enjoyed doing, he is a better man for it now that he is in college.
I think at the end of the day, try not to sweat the small stuff and don't put too much pressure on yourself to make it all happen. Enjoy your kids and the time you have with them. They will be grown-up before you know it. And while different ages and stages come with their own sets of unique challenges, I found the day-to-day stuff got easier as he got older.
Also, treat yourself to an adult beverage whenever necessary....
Good luck to you!0 -
A clean house is the sign of a wasted life!
As for bills, setup automatic payments and online bill pay for everything, it simplifies life. I have most of my bills that can be paid via credit card setup on my card that rewards travel miles. That card is issued from my bank, so I can easily take care of pretty much everything all from my bank site. I pay the credit card which pays most bills, and the other 3-4 get paid right on my banks site via bill pay or transfer money from the bank to banks credit card or my mortgage.0 -
I say have your son help you where he can. Just tailor the chores to his age. I have both of my girls help me with the household chores. It's part of living in my house. I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. My girls have actually been fightling lately over who cleans which bathroom....I fixed that!! The 8 year old gets to clean the bigger bathroom because she's older and is super excited about it. I think I may live in the twilight zone, but I digress. I have the kids gather trash and take it out to the big trash can in the garage, take out the recycling, gather laundry, sort dirty clothes, fold clean laundry and put it away...there's all sorts of little things he can help with while you're doing the "bigger" stuff like dishes. I know it can seem overwhelming at times, but it does get easier as they get a bit older. I also second the online bill pay/automatic payments....it's heavenly to not have to worry about getting the bills paid on time while dealing with everything else. Good luck!!0
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When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
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When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
:laugh: This is awesome!! Reminds me of that movie with Cher (name of which escapes me?) :bigsmile:0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly
Hell yeah! And dancing while cleaning burns more calories too!
@Anna - Cher was in a movie? O___O;0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly
Is there any other way to clean??? :laugh: You have to make it fun for them, that's for sure!0 -
I am afraid though, that if I don't get control of the mess, he will learn that a messy house is acceptable.
You just have to ramp it up over time. When my son was 3, he did “cleaning” that wasn’t real (that is, I would clean with him). Then, when he got older I would make him do some things knowing I’d have to go behind him (like vacuuming and his room and the car). Now, he does his bathroom, his bedroom, the backseat of the car (and wash the car- but most kids think that’s fun, not work) and I’m having him “wash” dishes that I’ve already cleaned or are only lightly soiled. Soon he will wash them for real.
As he’s became more capable the house is cleaner overall because I have more time for deeper cleaning elsewhere. He’s now used to a “guest ready” clean house where the only constant offender is dishes in the sink.
Now that he’s become quite a social butterfly, the impact of having a clean house when friends show up is a huge motivator!
I agree. I started my kids young. First, they had to pick up their toys. The older they got, the more responsibility they were given.
I have 3 kids. They outnumber me. I work as a teacher. (And before anyone thinks that means I only work from 7:30-3:30, please just save it. LOL ) I leave my house around 6:00a.m. because I commute to work about an hour each way. I am not one of those teachers who sits behind a desk while her students do busy work. No... when my students are in the room, I don't even have a desk. I teach. I do what I'm supposed to do. Which also means I have a TON of work to do later. I stay at least an hour or more after the students leave, which puts me getting home around 6:00 p.m. a lot of times. Sometimes later. Of course, there are the doctor's appointments and the parent/teacher conferences (for my own children) and football games and other activities which I have to be the parent for. Anyway, what I'm saying is... I'm busy. Always. I don't watch T.V. I couldn't even tell you what is popular on television right now. Yes, I get on here sometimes to unwind... but, gosh, we all need some unwinding, and this at least gives me a sense of interaction with other adults.
Back to my original thoughts... my kids have to help. We chose not to move again (due to other circumstances, we had to move twice last year). So, with me commuting to and from work, my kids know they have to help. Do they always do it without me griping about it? No. But they do help. They each have responsibilities.
There is no other parent in their lives. Their father died about seven years ago. They do have grandparents, but not the kind that are involved in everything. Both of my parents are older and have health issues. They have helped in the past as much as they could, but now they really can't help much. We do live on their dad's mother's property, and she lives right across the drive with her husband. She helps in the sense that she is always here. If I work late, the kids can go get a snack at grandma's house, and if an emergency happens, she is over there.
So.. I understand your dilemma. LOL But I really like P's advice. Sometimes, we have to downsize, make our lives a bit simpler, just so we can function and maintain sanity.0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly
Hell yeah! And dancing while cleaning burns more calories too!
@Anna - Cher was in a movie? O___O;
Yeah, she's been in quite a few. Have you never seen Witches of Eastwick?? I guess you were an ickle baby when that was out.... ahhhhh 0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly
Hell yeah! And dancing while cleaning burns more calories too!
@Anna - Cher was in a movie? O___O;
Yeah, she's been in quite a few. Have you never seen Witches of Eastwick?? I guess you were an ickle baby when that was out.... ahhhhh
I believe the movie you are talking about is mermaids.0 -
I believe the movie you are talking about is mermaids.
Yep! I love that movie... wanted red boots after that, haha, well, that and Footloose! I still don't own red boots!
I couldn't agree more with Marc that a clean house is a wasted life. I can't even imagine how single parents do it. Just keeping up with me and the dog is exhausting. Great sharing of ideas :happy:0 -
When my sister and I would do our chores, mom and dad let us blast music, sing and dance. As long as we got it all done they were fine having fun with it. We'd toss laundry in piles to the beat, boogie around with a broom and one time I did drop a dish as it slipped from my hand while spinning but we cleaned that up too
LOL I still blast music when I clean. The kids expect it now. We always joke that the neighbors know when I'm cleaning cause we play the music really loudly
Hell yeah! And dancing while cleaning burns more calories too!
@Anna - Cher was in a movie? O___O;
Yeah, she's been in quite a few. Have you never seen Witches of Eastwick?? I guess you were an ickle baby when that was out.... ahhhhh
I believe the movie you are talking about is mermaids.
Yeaaaah, that's the one!! With a teenage Winona Ryder too!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I applaud single parents. I have a hard enough time with just myself, and the 2 hours (1 hour each way to work) with my 8 hour day, clean and take care of my animals and still find time to work out.
I was dating a single dad, and I never once asked to be placed first, because I know the kids should come first. But I can see how dating can be an added stressor on top of everything else.
Kudos to the single parents! :flowerforyou:0
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