Back to Square one

Tropical_Turtle

Well, turns out Mr Beefcake, was a lying POS like every other man I have seemed to encountered. So now I am back to square one, thinking dating may not really be for me afterall.

Where I work I already do not trust men (I guess a men's prison will do that to a girl) and then to find those on the outside who just haven't been caught yet just as bad.

Just hurts to think that someone said such nice things lead me into a false sense of thinking someone could want me enough to be romantic and woo me. I tried to step out of my box and trust, and believe, and only to heartbreak. This is why I think the wall must go back up.........*shrug*

meshashesha2012

sorry this happened. here's a thought : we sometimes attract what we expect to attract.

are you ready to 100% trust someone or are you wanting them to prove their trustworthiness to you? I think those different attitudes will attract completely different men.

in any case, it's better that you found out now and not months into the relationship

Tropical_Turtle

I literally opened myself up did everything opposite of who I am typically. Open my heart, my mind, and was ready to "fall". Jumped in with both feet, vs the testing the waters and making them prove anything to me.

I did everything the opposite my past.

Lift_This_

I am the same way.....i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and put everything out there...it has been 8 months!!! yes 8 months since i went out on a date....been trying the internet dating scene again...i did in the past and it never worked...

don't worry about one man!!! you are a beautiful, sexy, smart woman!!! you will find the right guy!!! mr. beefcake was a mr. right now, not a mr. right.

I keep telling myself mr right is out there...if i have to kiss a bunch of tards in tinfoil to find my knight in shining armour, then so be it!!!

you are a wonderful, wonderful woman dont take anything less!!!!

flimflamfloz

Just give yourself time... In a month (maybe less) you'll be back on track, until then it might indeed be a good idea to avoid dating (so that you can put your thoughts back in order).

Mellie289

Sorry that Mr. Beefcake turned out to be a toad. There are good men out there, so don't let this experience make you bitter, thinking that all men are the same. Take some time to be angry with this one jerk (the responsibility for his lies starts and stops right at his doorstep) and to forgive yourself for trusting too soon, then try again, proceeding with a little more caution maybe. You've got some feelings to process before thinking about dating again! {{{hugs}}}

oddyogi

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you didn't waste too much time on him! :flowerforyou:

meshashesha2012

I literally opened myself up did everything opposite of who I am typically. Open my heart, my mind, and was ready to "fall". Jumped in with both feet, vs the testing the waters and making them prove anything to me.

I did everything the opposite my past.

but tht's OK. the important thing is that you did it. unfortunately kissing the toads is part of the process of finding the prince. just keep a positive attitude about the entire process.

each toad you strike off he list brings you closer to the ones who are going to be better for you :flowerforyou:

TheKitsune6

It's normal to be hurt right now, and I'm sorry this happened to you.

As time goes on try and remember the good that you got from this, that is just as important.

AnnaPixie

It makes me sad when women dont trust because of a bad experience. Stop blaming yourself for letting your guard down. You allowed yourself to love with reckless abandon - that is how it should be!! What is a little hurt in the scheme of things? If you close down your heart you may miss THE one that brings you great happiness. Don't let other people dictate your mood or suppress your feelings. Dust yourself off and start again! :flowerforyou:

There are more great/decent/honest guys in this world than douches!! Please remember that :bigsmile:

AnnaPixie

"We still hadn't learned, though, that growing up is all about getting hurt. And then getting over it. You hurt. You recover. You move on. Odds are pretty good you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something.

Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind - gradutaing, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expecations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.

And if you're very, very lucky, there are a very few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realized that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last - and yet will remain with you for life.

Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it.

Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way, it's a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.”

― Jim Butcher

pa_jorg

I'm sorry you're hurt right now. Take some time to think about what you want, but don't swear off all dating or men when your mood is at a low point. You'll rebound and be fine soon enough.

JanieJack

Sorry to hear that... don't put the wall up too high though... {{{{hugs}}}}

Jennifer2387

Awww! Stupid boy. Don't make other people pay for his behavior. Easier said than done, I know. But its true. Take some time to heal your wounded heart. Then move on.

He certainly isn't worth a lifetime alone .. just because he doesn't know how to treat a person, doesn't mean that no one else does either.

yoovie

Im really sorry

DMZ_1

Well, turns out Mr Beefcake, was a lying POS like every other man I have seemed to encountered.

Perhaps there's something about the type you are attracted to.

Guys who look really good can have a bad 'tude, just like the incredibly attractive women. The best fit is when 'tude is aligned with looks. A really good attitude makes a difference.

yo_andi

Hey Girl, there are lots of crappy dude types out there. I'm sorry this happened to you. Please don't let this make you more cynical and closed off to something wonderful that may be lying in wait right around the corner...