Scared to Try

Beautiful_Ideal

Hi all. DH and I decided to TTC for the first time this month, and I couldn't be more thrilled! I am at an ok BMI, I am taking all of the right vitamins, still dieting, finances are in order, my OBGYN is on board, everything looks and sounds great...except for my PCOS. Despite reassurances, I'm still worried about miscarriage given the PCOS, or being completely unable to conceive. AF came and I was in tears.

Do any of you have these fears? How do you deal with failure while still hoping for success? I'm new to the emotions bc of being new to TTC. Thx for any and all input

(edited for grammar)

Ajnyvt09

I can totally relate to the anticipation and the fears. Some days are better than others in being able to deal with the issues of having PCOS/TTC. I can tell you that finding the PCOS support here on MFP has been amazing. Not only for weight loss but also for TTC. We are all going through this together.

Please feel free to add me as a friend if you would like. :-) I'm happy to be someone you can reach out to when those tough times come along. Best of luck to you! I'm wishing you all the best!!

mistresseeyore

There are days that I hurt, but I have learned that it can get better. Make sure you take the precautions for not having a miscarriage. I don't know if they have you on Metformin, but I know they have found that it helps with not having a miscarriage. We are discussing a second one more seriously and it's a hard journey. We were in our 30's when we had our first.

miranda_mom

If you got AF, that is a good sign. Always a little bittersweet because it means you're not pregnant, but some women don't get AF at all, which means they aren't ovulating on their own. I went seven months without AF earlier this year before we got my Metformin dose right.

The stress is hard - I'm on my second time now. First time, i was ready to give up and start fertility treatments and I got pregnant on my own. I didn't know about the increased risk of miscarriage but I had a completely healthy pregnancy. Sometimes it's better to not know these things.

angelraguel

its taken me 4 and a bit years to concieve and ive had pcos all my life. I still have 70ibs to lose as im suppose to weigh 10 stone for my weight and I am currently 15 stone. I was due to start fertility treatment this year after being refused for years and years and after losing the weight i fell pregnant, it was a hell of a shock but a nice one, im still in shock now to be honest. I was told to expect a misscarraige as the baby wasnt growing (all i saw was a white ring and a week later still a white ring when they shoulda seen something) I was told to expect a misscarry and if i didnt in 2 weeks to get another scan, it was the longest 2 weeks off my life. I made it thro and they finally saw a heart, I had my 12 week scan friday just gone and was told i was 13 weeks.

My diet has been appalling and i feel like an aweful mum already for making my baby ill with the junk im eating, but anything healthy at the mo is making me so so sick! I am hoping it will ease off in the next few weeks as it is meant too. I still worry about misscarrying now due to the bad foods im eating and all my sugar increases esp with the pcos! my point is, dont be scared, its not easy i know but you can onloy eat what u can eat when ur preggy, ur body will soon tell u what u want and what u dont even tho u wanna try and eat something good and healthy =s! if I miscarry this one, I will use protection until i get down to my bmi as i do believe excess weight is not good, but it sounds like you have done everything right! and im sure your lil baby to be will be happy in u! mines happy in me so far, god knows how!!! good luck!

Beautiful_Ideal

Thanks so much for your posts all. I'm really appreciating the support I'm finding on here too! I'm really trying right now to keep a positive attitude. I'm not pg yet, but I'm ovulating, I'm losing weight, and DH and I are happy. I'm trying to focus on those positives instead of dwelling on the negatives - you're totally right miranda, with PCOS sometimes it's better not to know! I'm so glad they got your Metformin right (were they increasing in 50 mg doses? I've heard of bad physicians who wouldn't increase the dose for PCOSers TTC...talk about bad care.) Did it make a big difference for you/did you lose weight? I went low carb 2 weeks ago and I've lost 4 lbs after being unable to lose for MONTHS :bigsmile:

Mistress + miranda, I'll talk to my OB/GYN about Metformin. Thx for the tip. I was going to ask for it because I'm really insulin resistant, but I didn't know that it helps you carry to term (I can't even type the M word). Even better reason to get on it. I also read that a lot of women conceive with Metformin alone, not even Clomid/injections/IVF etc. Awesome!

Angel, some food is better than no food at all! Can you keep down vitamins? Your baby already has an amazing story and I'm thinking healthy thoughts for both of you. I'm friending you so that we can keep up, best to you both and hope you're feeling well today. xoxo

Your responses are so appreciated ladies. You're right Ajny, we're all going through this together. You guys have been so helpful already, big hugs!

Caguppie

I was supposed to have my first baby in March but miscarried. It was horrible and devastating and lonely. I right away went to the Dr and my blood work shows insulin resistance & PCOS. I have regular cycles and no symptoms other than being overweight and being a bit of a carb-head. BUT... I made it through it all very well. I have hope and am working on anything in my control to be able to have a healthy baby soon. Here's what I want you to know:

- miscarriage is super common. Up to 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Don't blame yourself. My midwife said the first pregnancy is especially common - almost like some women's bodies need a dry-run before accepting a pregnancy.
- If it happens you will be devastated but I believe that our hormones kick in and help get us through it. Find some support and don't try to handle it alone.
- if your partner is anything like mine, he will not be the best support because he cannot comprehend the hurt and emotion.

I know no one wants to talk about it but that's why I am addressing it. I have more to add but have to run!

miranda_mom

I started at 1000 mg daily (500 mg AM and 500 mg PM) in April and then went up to 1000 mg AM and 1000 mg PM in July. That's when I actually started getting AF again. I've also seen improvement with my hair loss. I have lost 22 lbs. since I started MFP in April but I've seen an even more amazing change in body composition since I started doing strength training. So I don't worry about the scale too much anymore. This is very hard when you have PCOS. I kept feeling like "If I lose a few more lbs., maybe I'll ovulate" or whatever. I beat myself up a lot. I do have it a little easier than most because I already have a child and if I can't have another one, it's not the end of the world. But I do blame myself a lot and I shouldn't do that.

Caguppie

OK. Part of what I wanted to say in the last post is to TAKE YOUR TIME. I know when I was TTC, it was like I finally decided I was ready to have a baby & I wanted it now! Stress is our biggest enemy (someone else here said it too, right?)

I don't have any major issues with PCOS that I am aware of so maybe I shouldn't be giving advice, but if you are young (like, under 30) I would highly recommend doing it as naturally as possible for 4-6 cycles. If nothing, then look into drugs. I wouldn't start the process with drugs - even though you are probably ready for a baby, like, yesterday. Try to see it as a process. I'm almost 35 so it's a bit more of a race against the clock but I am trying to take my own advice here, too!

Get on a good prenatal vitamin right away (I like New Chapter Perfect Prenatal). Keep in mind that your stress, eating habits etc, all affect the baby & can set patterns for the baby later in life. You might try an ovulation predictor kit or charting to see when you really ovulate. I am going to OPK this time around, since I got pregnant when I thought it was too late in my cycle (suggesting that I ovulate later). From what I have read, make sure your man is keeping his sperm 'fresh' by releasing every other day or so (if you are not having sex), and have sex every other day (I heard mornings are better for sperm count) from something like 6 days before ovulating to 4 days after (definitely look this up - the point being that there seems to be a general pattern that people suggest for best chances of pregnancy).

I'm sorry if bringing up miscarriage is sad or stressful. I think it's best to prepare yourself that it's fairly common and happens for no apparent reason other than genetic flaws. You're going to have your baby. Set your expectations for a long term process and I think you will be better off. Keep hope that it can happen quickly but don't fret if it doesn't.