Why do guy-people do this?
Jeneba
Posts: 699 Member
About a month ago I tried out internet dating but didn't really like it. At the time, I had just begun to correspond with 2 guys - nothing at all serious and neither conversation seemed to be leading to a molecular meeting. I decided to leave the website but gave both of them my phone numbers & my fb information. I didn't hear from either one of them, but it didn't really upset me.... meh.
Suddenly yesterday I got a text message from one of them along with a really nice photo & his fb information. He apologized & said "he dropped the ball." I wrote back & said see you on fb. He friended me and then...... SILENCE! At about 5:00am this morning he posted some really nice photos of himself on his fb wall but otherwise, there isn't a lot of activity on it....
So - I am really not interested in getting to know someone who feels meh about me, but why would someone do something like this in the first place....
Your insights?
:flowerforyou:
Suddenly yesterday I got a text message from one of them along with a really nice photo & his fb information. He apologized & said "he dropped the ball." I wrote back & said see you on fb. He friended me and then...... SILENCE! At about 5:00am this morning he posted some really nice photos of himself on his fb wall but otherwise, there isn't a lot of activity on it....
So - I am really not interested in getting to know someone who feels meh about me, but why would someone do something like this in the first place....
Your insights?
:flowerforyou:
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Replies
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Suddenly yesterday I got a text message from one of them along with a really nice photo & his fb information. He apologized & said "he dropped the ball." I wrote back & said see you on fb. He friended me and then...... SILENCE! At about 5:00am this morning he posted some really nice photos of himself on his fb wall but otherwise, there isn't a lot of activity on it....
Your response to him: "I wrote back and said see you on fb" doesn't scream out that you are interested in dating him. (I'll admit that I don't understand why people become Facebook friends with people they don't know, but I think that's another topic.) I would've responded to his text like this: "Well, pick it up!
" And I would not have accepted his Facebook friend request immediately.
Are you interested in him? He might need a little encouragement. You might shoot him one flirty text in the next day or so, and see how he responds.0 -
Thanks! I understand what you mean... but he waited about 3 weeks to get in touch with me, so maybe there is something mutual about the meh. :laugh:0
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Eh, who knows? Maybe he got busy with work or life and really did just "drop the ball." The fact is that he did get in touch with you even though three weeks had passed. I actually think that's a good sign -- obviously you were on his mind.
Maybe in the end he will turn out to be wishy washy or meh, but I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens. You really have nothing to lose.0 -
Thanks! I think you are a nicer, more compassionate person than I am.... 0
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It's tough to get excited about someone you've only chatted a few times with online, so depending on how "meh" you're feeling about him you can either let it fizzle down to nothing or try to make conversation with him.0
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Give it a shot! People have lives too .. doesn't mean he was feeling meh .. he just may have a lot going on in his life.0
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There is no simple explanation for this, but give him a chance and see how things go from here.0
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I think he was quite possibly pursing another person at the time and then it didn't work out. So.. he went back through his list of possibilities and you were on it.
Not to say that it couldn't work..maybe neither of you made the most amazing impression on each other the first time around..but it could be very different in future.0 -
He already pleased himself using the pictures of all his other female FB friends, they are now "used", and he needed new female friends so he added you on FB. Otherwise I don't know.0
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He already pleased himself using the pictures of all his other female FB friends, they are now "used", and he needed new female friends so he added you on FB. Otherwise I don't know.
I hope this isn't the case. My last three fb friend requests all came from guys. ewww.0 -
I think he was quite possibly pursing another person at the time and then it didn't work out. So.. he went back through his list of possibilities and you were on it.
This is what I see a lot of people respond to the "why did s/he ignore me for a copule weeks and then come back." I wouldn't necessarily blame him for this or anything, and would still meet with him, but just be mindful of it.
Edit to add: usually when the above quote is true, it seems like the "relationship" won't work out anyway, because one (or both) parties are "meh" about each other... but I recommend giving the guy a chance. BB and I talked/chatted/emailed for about a month before we met because I had a lot of work related travel and plus I already had several guys in the queue from Match to meet before I could "schedule him in." lol0 -
I am inclined to go with "the better shopping experience" answers. I still believe somewhere deep in my heart in Love at First Sight - which doesn't mean that it will last as a relationship, so I am new to all this back&forth negotiation that seems to take place. Think he will be friendzoned. And he will probably be a wonderful friend. I guess.0
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He already pleased himself using the pictures of all his other female FB friends, they are now "used", and he needed new female friends so he added you on FB. Otherwise I don't know.
I thought that's what MFP was for... :huh:0 -
I think he was quite possibly pursing another person at the time and then it didn't work out. So.. he went back through his list of possibilities and you were on it.
This point of view is quite sensible and I have seen it play out like this in real life. It may or may not be true though in this case.0 -
I think he was quite possibly pursing another person at the time and then it didn't work out. So.. he went back through his list of possibilities and you were on it.
This point of view is quite sensible and I have seen it play out like this in real life. It may or may not be true though in this case.
Even if this is true, so what? You've learned the person is either a) not good at multi-tasking, b) was not willing to stay in contact and string you along while pursuing another option, or c) a combination of a & b.0 -
I am inclined to go with "the better shopping experience" answers. I still believe somewhere deep in my heart in Love at First Sight - which doesn't mean that it will last as a relationship, so I am new to all this back&forth negotiation that seems to take place. Think he will be friendzoned. And he will probably be a wonderful friend. I guess.
but if you haven't even seen him in person .. how do you know?0 -
Hi Jennifer! I have some incredibly deep bonds with people all over the world who I have never met! But we didn't start out our relationships with a "marketplace" mentality - we just found that we share the same passions, the same quirky sense of humor AND we are dependable enough to never lose touch for more than a few days... I would want at least this much in someone I was thinking about dating. 0
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what does "he dropped the ball" mean?? :huh:
Honestly, I would meet the guy and just see if there is any chemistry in real life. This prolonged email/FB/internet thing is a bit of a fizzler.
And does it really matter why he too 3 weeks to contact you? The fact is that he did. He wanted an excited response but didnt really get one. He's now just impressing you with his pics. Seems to me like the ball is in your court :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi Pixie!!!
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what does "he dropped the ball" mean?? :huh:
It's an expression with the basis in sports. Usually when someone drops a ball, it's considered an error because they did something wrong. You want to hold on the ball and continue on with the play. Dropping the ball costs time and usually points.
So when someone "drops the ball" it means they've blundered and hopefully it won't happen again.0 -
"Molecular meeting". Heh. Like:-)0
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what does "he dropped the ball" mean?? :huh:
It's an expression with the basis in sports. Usually when someone drops a ball, it's considered an error because they did something wrong. You want to hold on the ball and continue on with the play. Dropping the ball costs time and usually points.
So when someone "drops the ball" it means they've blundered and hopefully it won't happen again.
Ohhhhh, cool saying! Thanks :flowerforyou:
Hi Jeneba! If he's admitted that he made a mistake, more reason to just go meet the guy and stop playing internet games ?? :flowerforyou: 0
