Ever get that feeling....
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I truly think Meetup.com is the way to go. It puts you in real life situations where everyone else is also looking to meet people -- whether friends or to date. And likely since you are part of the same group, you have at least some interests in common already.
Meetups are a distinct world.
I found them to be a mixed bag for purposes of finding people to date. The main advantage of Meetups is getting out in front of people and getting the in person experience right away. However, in a typical Meetup, only about 1-2 people who attend the event are going to meet your qualifications, whatever they are. So you're showing up to an event for the privilege of talking to 1-2 people.
You have to avoid groups on Meetup specifically labeled "Singles". These groups tend to be unstable and also produce some of the worst human behaviors and quality of singles. Many desirable female singles are turned off by what goes on in these groups, making the selection poor for males. These groups are usually middle aged divorcees.
Look for common interest groups. There are many generic common interests like 20s/30s, Professionals, etc. These generic interest groups are not singles per se, but most attendees are singles, especially if the group is having a bar mix n' mingle type event. No person in a relationship would logically go to the bar mix n mingle type events, because working a room is usually pretty unpleasant. The bar mix n' mingle Meetup events are advantage over a random night at the bar, because people are easier to talk to due to common group membership, but the bar mix n mingle events can be quite emotionally draining.
The best Meetup events involve you doing something you enjoy. For me, I'm an athletic type, so the best Meetups are ones where I am playing sand volleyball, tennis, etc. So I'd recommend focusing on Meetups that involve activities you like rather than the Happy Hour/bar mix n' mingle type events. You may not meet someone that way, but at least you'll enjoy yourself.
I don't know how you all meetup groups...I'd be scared to meet one guy from online dating, but a whole group? All the more power to you!0 -
Wow, thank you all for responding to my 2 a.m. rant! haha. Especially the ones who think I'm cute! hahaha
There were too many items to quote, so I'm just going to try and hit the ones I wanted to respond to (or that I could remember haha).
As for being too picky, I don't think that's the case. I've been asked out on five dates in five years. I've accepted all but one. And with many of those guys, there were things that I overlooked that in my "perfect world scenario" would have been issues. (IE appearance, personality, etc.)
I also think that I come from a small town, and when I say I know everybody. I truly know everybody. If I don't know them, I'm a "Kevin Bacon six-degrees of separation from them." Which makes it hard!
Also, I know online dating isn't the "be all, end all" of the world, I guess I'm just in a "I've tried everything else" (or at least I think I have) situation. All of my friends are married and have kids. I've been in 10 weddings in 10 years. About to be in my 11th next year, just starting to get to me that I've never even been close.
Thanks all again! I truly thank all of MFP family!0 -
Also, through common interests, but make sure the interest is something where your target market would. A woman into knitting likely isn't going to find a man there. A man into Star Trek and science fiction stuff is going to have a real hard time finding compatible women.
Hey, just because we knit doesn't mean we don't like to get our groove on, too! :drinker:0 -
Hey, just because we knit doesn't mean we don't like to get our groove on, too! :drinker:
I'm sure there are many women who knit who can get a groove on. The point was that a woman probably isn't going to meet the single man she desires at a knitting club function.0 -
Thanks guys for your input! I think I am going to cancel my EH subscription when it expires. I've gone a week and a half now without being "Matched" (even that drives down your self esteem). They tell me to broaden by search criteria, which I refuse to do. I won't budge on my age range (29 to 35) and I'm sorry, no guy from Nebraska is going to want to start communicating over the internet based on a profile. (at least that's my opinion).
Thanks for the clarity folks. Now goes back to the question... where is Mr. Right... hahahah
I know you won't believe me, but Mr. Right(s) are all around you.
If I was a girl, I would comb gyms and sports bars on Sunday for men. I frequent both and they are usually full to the brim with decent guys.
Nah, just go to your local feedstore on Saturday or Sunday mornings at coffee time one of the following is bound to happen:
1. He'll be sitting on a feed sack
2. He be the son of a guy sitting on a feed sack
3. He'll be the grandson of a guy sitting on a feed sack
And you can't go wrong with a good ol' country boy.... a real one, not a Justin Beiber who wears one because it's cool.
Check their boots though, if they are too clean.............NEXT!!!!!
Edit: typos
Well hello there.
LOL, so Carl, gotta ask do you fall under 1, 2, or 3 ha ha ha let's go with #3! Now lemme check your boots!
Getting too close to #1 :ohwell:0 -
i totally agree with this! ( assuming that's your type of guy). there are three at mine that i literally swoon over! LOL they all work there so i see them a lot.
yesterday, i was talking to a trainer at my gym, turns out he lives 5 min from me. my gym is 40 min from my house.... so, what are the chances? ya know! i'm not interested, he is very forth coming and has loads of issues...... but, he's really good looking!!
i'm on one site, free, and i have come to expect little of it. i've had some decent dates from it, but in the end *I* am not interested in pursuing.
i'm not sure that guys have it harder. i think, in online dating, both men and women have it hard.
Nah, just go to your local feedstore on Saturday or Sunday mornings at coffee time one of the following is bound to happen:
1. He'll be sitting on a feed sack
2. He be the son of a guy sitting on a feed sack
3. He'll be the grandson of a guy sitting on a feed sack
And you can't go wrong with a good ol' country boy.... a real one, not a Justin Beiber who wears one because it's cool.
Check their boots though, if they are too clean.............NEXT!!!!!
Edit: typos0 -
Yo.. Try meet up groups. Try meeting people through your friends. Start hosting potlucks and have people bring others.
J0 -
Hey, just because we knit doesn't mean we don't like to get our groove on, too! :drinker:
I'm sure there are many women who knit who can get a groove on. The point was that a woman probably isn't going to meet the single man she desires at a knitting club function.
Knitter here lol
I do get it, I've gone to meet ups..I like them but I'm shy and most of the men that I chatted with in the course of some hikes seemed to talk about their girlfriends alot
. And then its the time to make the meet ups that interest me.
Also what activity do I pick that would have more men involved that I would actually have an interest in?...my mother really wants me to get into golfing..I can certainly see that would be an activity that men would be involved in..problem..GOLF IS BORING, I hate everything about it other than it keeps my parents active and healthy. I run with different running clubs...mostly women or married men...I've tried salsa (yeah probably stupid idea for single men)..the gym that I went to last night had alot of men my age ish who were eye candy lol...but at the gym I feel unattractive and like a cow compared to the other women.
Other suggestions of places to meet singles that is not a bar..not online, and active but not totally masculine would be appreciated..but to me it seems like men are loners they don't join things unless its for male bonding...ie hockey/wings night/team sports..they don't tend to join mixed group activities unless their girl friends drag them along. Guys any thoughts?0 -
Also what activity do I pick that would have more men involved that I would actually have an interest in?...my mother really wants me to get into golfing..I can certainly see that would be an activity that men would be involved in..problem..GOLF IS BORING, I hate everything about it other than it keeps my parents active and healthy. I run with different running clubs...mostly women or married men...I've tried salsa (yeah probably stupid idea for single men)..the gym that I went to last night had alot of men my age ish who were eye candy lol...but at the gym I feel unattractive and like a cow compared to the other women.
Other suggestions of places to meet singles that is not a bar..not online, and active but not totally masculine would be appreciated..but to me it seems like men are loners they don't join things unless its for male bonding...ie hockey/wings night/team sports..they don't tend to join mixed group activities unless their girl friends drag them along. Guys any thoughts?
Guys who are motivated to find a woman will join a mixed group activity. Guys often complain that bars and online are sausage fests, which they are!0
