Advice please
Replies
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I think you made the right decision by sending the message........hope it works out for you!0
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I am glad you sent the message. I can not wait to hear how things turn out!0
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1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!0 -
Try this:
"Hey. I'm naked this weekend, so I can't go out. Why don't you come over here for some body shots!."
See how that goes over.0 -
Try this:
"Hey. I'm naked this weekend, so I can't go out. Why don't you come over here for some body shots!."
See how that goes over.
Man....where was this answer a while ago????? Dammit!0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
Yeah, no kidding. I like that you went ahead and did it - even if he was just being friendly worst case scenario he says "Sorry, I have plans" No big deal. The world won't end, you will both keep living and you'll still have a child free weekend to enjoy.
Yeesh.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
Yeah, no kidding. I like that you went ahead and did it - even if he was just being friendly worst case scenario he says "Sorry, I have plans" No big deal. The world won't end, you will both keep living and you'll still have a child free weekend to enjoy.
Yeesh.
Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P0 -
I never ever never agree with a word you say .. but I agree with this!Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.
whoops double post.0 -
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.
See I think having those kinds of standards are limiting yourself. She has put this guy on the spot and will find out if he was really interested or not, instead of waiting two more weeks or having to come in here and get all of our assumptions on every matter pertaining to him.
Now he can have no second thoughts to the fact that she is interested in going out on a date. It only take one thing to make a guy question interest. I wonder how many chances we have all lost because of confusion, when it could all easily be defeated by doing something like the OP just did.... not saying this is the exact case here though.0 -
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.
See I think having those kinds of standards are limiting yourself.
This is absolutely true! But I will say it also took me a long tome to realize I was limiting myself (and this applies to many areas of life, not just dating).0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.
How are those "standards" working out for you?
Of course it's a game. Part 1 was that she's now doing the pursuing like it's some sort of game. Part 2 was that she indicated her weekend is available with short notice. This may make her look less desirable because she doesn't give off the image of being pursued by other men. Please! She's a single mom who has every other weekend available. Do you really think you can fool him into thinking you have all these other dates lined up?0 -
Of course it's a game. Part 1 was that she's now doing the pursuing like it's some sort of game. Part 2 was that she indicated her weekend is available with short notice. This may make her look less desirable because she doesn't give off the image of being pursued by other men. Please! She's a single mom who has every other weekend available. Do you really think you can fool him into thinking you have all these other dates lined up?
I think there's also an age gap here coloring our analysis of the situation.
When I was 24, I had more time for this. I had my whole life in front of me. My weekends were wide open, excitement only limited by my imagination. Most weeknights were also potential opportunities for meeting new people and having fun. Rules about who to ask out, when, how, why, seemed to make more sense at the time. Why not, the possibilities were limitless!
But now I'm a single dad with a demanding job, and it's a miracle when I actually have a weekend available. Don't get me wrong, I'm not desperate. Far from it. But when I have my opportunities, I really try to seize them.
--P0 -
If I recall correctly many people excoriated DM for suggesting that a guy should try to give off the impression that he was well occupied most weekends whether true or not.0
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I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.
See I think having those kinds of standards are limiting yourself. She has put this guy on the spot and will find out if he was really interested or not, instead of waiting two more weeks or having to come in here and get all of our assumptions on every matter pertaining to him.
Now he can have no second thoughts to the fact that she is interested in going out on a date. It only take one thing to make a guy question interest. I wonder how many chances we have all lost because of confusion, when it could all easily be defeated by doing something like the OP just did.... not saying this is the exact case here though.
Do you know how many time on a friday night I have texted guys to see if they want to go out? I've lost track. Before I started dating Mr. NG my friday mornings consisted of texting every guy in my phone that i was interested in to see if anyone bit. I have no problem asking the guy to come hang out or excepting some last minute plans. I would rather go out and have fun then make it look like I'm unavalible and stay home0 -
I never ever never agree with a word you say .. but I agree with this!Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P
Well, I've always thought you had really attractive eyes.
--P0 -
I never ever never agree with a word you say .. but I agree with this!Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P
Well, I've always thought you had really attractive eyes.
--P
Oh, well played!!0 -
I never ever never agree with a word you say .. but I agree with this!Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P
Well, I've always thought you had really attractive eyes.
--P
Oh, well played!!
Unless she's always hated her eyes.0
