Ugh.... Really???
Tropical_Turtle
Posts: 2,236 Member
Ok, so this morning I got a message from a guy on POF. He is 41, 6'5, disabled but going back to school to become a mechanic.
In a 45 minute ride to work - he messaged me 9 times to my 3. He was "here's my phone number so you can text me through the day, and on your breaks and lunch and such." Mind you everything he sent me to was a run on sentence, and really needy sounding to me.
I want to be chased, and wanted, but I am thinking this person is a stage 2 clinger.
PS He invited me to play bingo.... does this mean I can bring my 91 yo gma too?
In a 45 minute ride to work - he messaged me 9 times to my 3. He was "here's my phone number so you can text me through the day, and on your breaks and lunch and such." Mind you everything he sent me to was a run on sentence, and really needy sounding to me.
I want to be chased, and wanted, but I am thinking this person is a stage 2 clinger.
PS He invited me to play bingo.... does this mean I can bring my 91 yo gma too?
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Replies
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I hate when people have grammar issues. It's a huge turnoff to me! Is it rude of me to ask disabled how though?0
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wow. sounds clingy. hopefully the bushes outside your home aren't big enough to hide a wheelchair or anything because dude sounds like he might be a bit of a control freak0
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Yes, I predict serious Stage 2 clinger. RUN!0
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Agreed, run! Not only for the potential clinginess, but because he asked you to play bingo.0
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Or... give him a chance? I kinda get where you are coming from, but he just sounds eager. If everything else is a fit why not give it a try?0
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Ha- I'm at lunch creating a bingo game right now.
You've sent him a total of three messages and he's expecting texts throughout the day?! Run.0 -
Ok, so this morning I got a message from a guy on POF. He is 41, 6'5, disabled but going back to school to become a mechanic.
In a 45 minute ride to work - he messaged me 9 times to my 3. He was "here's my phone number so you can text me through the day, and on your breaks and lunch and such." Mind you everything he sent me to was a run on sentence, and really needy sounding to me.
I want to be chased, and wanted, but I am thinking this person is a stage 2 clinger.
PS He invited me to play bingo.... does this mean I can bring my 91 yo gma too?
I am kind of torn, to be honest.
I like giving people a fair chance, in reality you have made a huge assumption based on only a few messages.
I want to say just give it some time, maybe do one date just
to see FOR SURE that this guy is overly needy, slightly ridiculous.
I don't know though, he does kind of seem that way.
Tough call.0 -
His disability is that he has had 6 surgeries on his rotator cuff. This time it's supposed to be "fixed".0
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Or... give him a chance? I kinda get where you are coming from, but he just sounds eager. If everything else is a fit why not give it a try?
there really isnt anything that is a "match" , but the whole clingy thing really is not attractive!0 -
Or... give him a chance? I kinda get where you are coming from, but he just sounds eager. If everything else is a fit why not give it a try?
there really isnt anything that is a "match" , but the whole clingy thing really is not attractive!
Then you probably just answered your own question. Although again, if it is based purely on a few messages, you really cannot know that.0 -
If you're not into him, move on. This is where "clingy" depends if you like the person. I am talking to a fella whom one day we messaged each other nonstop for about 4 hrs. At times I sent more messages than him either because I thought of a question or I was answering him and forgot something.
Im into him though so I don't mind his texts or calls. And I can tell he likes mine.
And I love bingo!!0 -
This would put me off! So you can message him on your breaks and lunch and such? It just sounds like a presumption that you will speak throughout the day and that he thinks he's so high priority in your life already that you will be spending your breaks and lunchtime texting him? This is all while you are at work! Jeez!!! Too demanding (or expecting?) way too soon for my liking! I should say that I'm not a texter though. If he sent his phone number, it would be to have a chat on the phone in the evening - not while I'm at work.He was "here's my phone number so you can text me through the day, and on your breaks and lunch and such." Mind you everything he sent me to was a run on sentence, and really needy sounding to me.
BTW - what is a stage 2 clinger? Is there a thread talking about different stages of clinginess? LOL!0 -
Just curious and for context but what was the initial interaction on POF like?
How long and back and forth was it?0 -
Torn rotator cuff...painful but not as bad as what I was thinking.
If you aren't comfortable with that level of communication, just let him go. For some reason, others DO communicate that much. I'm not really one of them, especially that early in a relationship.0 -
I'd make hay while the sun shines. Once you meet and he gets in your knickers, the texts will stop!!! :laugh:
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well the good news then is that that his pimp slap wouldnt be THAT bad if he had to teach you to be available at all times when he need you.His disability is that he has had 6 surgeries on his rotator cuff. This time it's supposed to be "fixed".
my experience with guys who are overly eager this soon has never been good. it makes you wonder how someone can be that fixated on someone they've never met0 -
His disability is that he has had 6 surgeries on his rotator cuff. This time it's supposed to be "fixed".
Oh I was thinking of something much worse/different.0 -
Ha ha! People are weird!
I am a nurse and as soon as some guys here that, I either get the "can you give me a sponge bath" line or if they have lots of medical issues they proceed to tell me all about it.
ugh!0 -
well the good news then is that that his pimp slap wouldnt be THAT bad if he had to teach you to be available at all times when he need you.His disability is that he has had 6 surgeries on his rotator cuff. This time it's supposed to be "fixed".
:laugh:
You should probably listen to your gut and bail out on this guy, he sounds like he gets on your nerves and you aren't even married yet!0 -
Well, Friday after all this, I had climbed on my vanpool van, and checked my email , FB, and went on POF and BAM he was there waiting for me. As soon as I signed on I got a "well hello there...." My first instinct was to beat my forehead on the seat in front of me. Then I get more messages from him saying he's going to dinner with some friends, and should be home around 6p and would love to talk to me around6p and then who knows go to bingo at 8 the same night.
All communications were via POF, and only for a matter of not even 24 hours at this point in time.
So I politely just said, "I do not think we are a match, and I would like to thank you for your interest, but I do not see this going anywhere. Good luck on your search."0 -
Good for you!!! I was wondering what happened. Now, here's hoping he doesn't reply back with a terribly long run on sentence asking more questions.0
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Well, Friday after all this, I had climbed on my vanpool van, and checked my email , FB, and went on POF and BAM he was there waiting for me. As soon as I signed on I got a "well hello there...." My first instinct was to beat my forehead on the seat in front of me. Then I get more messages from him saying he's going to dinner with some friends, and should be home around 6p and would love to talk to me around6p and then who knows go to bingo at 8 the same night.
All communications were via POF, and only for a matter of not even 24 hours at this point in time.
So I politely just said, "I do not think we are a match, and I would like to thank you for your interest, but I do not see this going anywhere. Good luck on your search."
You heartbreaker!
Just kidding. Rejecting a bunch of people is one of the necessary evils of online dating. I'm sure everyone has been on both sides of that before. No biggie.0 -
Well, Friday after all this, I had climbed on my vanpool van, and checked my email , FB, and went on POF and BAM he was there waiting for me. As soon as I signed on I got a "well hello there...." My first instinct was to beat my forehead on the seat in front of me. Then I get more messages from him saying he's going to dinner with some friends, and should be home around 6p and would love to talk to me around6p and then who knows go to bingo at 8 the same night.
All communications were via POF, and only for a matter of not even 24 hours at this point in time.
So I politely just said, "I do not think we are a match, and I would like to thank you for your interest, but I do not see this going anywhere. Good luck on your search."
I adore your "beat my forehead on the seat" statement. I know exactly how that feels. :P
You made a REALLY good call being direct. Because guys like this DO NOT take a hint. Ever. Under any circumstances.0 -
Good for you!!! I was wondering what happened. Now, here's hoping he doesn't reply back with a terribly long run on sentence asking more questions.
He actually has not replied. Thankfully.0 -
Ladies.. what is worse.. clingy guys, or *kitten*?
I think clingy guys are worse, because it's harder to be mean to them than to *kitten*, haha.0 -
I feel more trapped with a clingy guy. It makes me panic. When a guy is an *kitten* I have no trouble standing up for myself and moving on (as many have seen).0
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I feel more trapped with a clingy guy. It makes me panic. When a guy is an *kitten* I have no trouble standing up for myself and moving on (as many have seen).
Amen to this.0 -
I only went out with one clingy guy and he totally freaked me out. He stalked me for months. Very hard to deal with in the end
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I've had a couple first dates with clingy guys....never made it past the first date. Those ones made it to the first date because I gave them the benefit of the doubt (nerves, excited, etc). Yeah, bad choice. If I catch any sign of a clinger now, I run. lol0
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An *kitten* I can deal with - I work with them all the time. Clingers - they freak me out honestly because I see stalker in them, and well me in the end with a loaded shot gun.0
