Downgraded date

cinsuccess

Ok... I'm still getting back into the dating scene and don't really know all the rules so I wanted to throw this out to the group.

Met a guy from okc on Tuesday for coffee. It went really well. We talked for 3 hours about all kinds of things... at the end of the date, he asks me out again. Suggests we have a "real" date, maybe dinner this weekend. Tells me he'll call me closer to the weekend to work out the details.

Today - I get an email from him asking if I want to meet up tomorrow night. I say sure and ask him what he has in mind. After a joke about the dangers of asking that question, he says drinks. I went along with it and we're meeting for drinks tomorrow but I'm a bit confused.

Should this bother me? It's only date #2 but I'd think if a guy really likes you after the initial meeting, dinner would be a natural next date. Advice is greatly appreciated.

TheKitsune6

I think that it probably doesn't mean anything, just that he wants to meet you for drinks. If he didn't like you he wouldn't be wanting to meet up with you anyway. There's no reason to agonize over the "type" of date you perceive as good or bad. Just enjoy yourself (but not too much! Hahaha)

cinsuccess

Thanks Kit. That's what I intend to do. I was just curious since I haven't really dated seriously since my divorce.

poncho33

Ok... I'm still getting back into the dating scene and don't really know all the rules so I wanted to throw this out to the group.

Met a guy from okc on Tuesday for coffee. It went really well. We talked for 3 hours about all kinds of things... at the end of the date, he asks me out again. Suggests we have a "real" date, maybe dinner this weekend. Tells me he'll call me closer to the weekend to work out the details.

Today - I get an email from him asking if I want to meet up tomorrow night. I say sure and ask him what he has in mind. After a joke about the dangers of asking that question, he says drinks. I went along with it and we're meeting for drinks tomorrow but I'm a bit confused.

Should this bother me? It's only date #2 but I'd think if a guy really likes you after the initial meeting, dinner would be a natural next date. Advice is greatly appreciated.

Again instead of hopping the guy says what you want, I think this is a spot you could have jumped in and said how about we make it dinner.

If you want something ask or you're going to be disappointed more times than not.... However I've kicked this horse enough for today!! And to answer the question, maybe he just forgot about mentioning dinner.

MikeM53082

Ok... I'm still getting back into the dating scene and don't really know all the rules so I wanted to throw this out to the group.

Met a guy from okc on Tuesday for coffee. It went really well. We talked for 3 hours about all kinds of things... at the end of the date, he asks me out again. Suggests we have a "real" date, maybe dinner this weekend. Tells me he'll call me closer to the weekend to work out the details.

Today - I get an email from him asking if I want to meet up tomorrow night. I say sure and ask him what he has in mind. After a joke about the dangers of asking that question, he says drinks. I went along with it and we're meeting for drinks tomorrow but I'm a bit confused.

Should this bother me? It's only date #2 but I'd think if a guy really likes you after the initial meeting, dinner would be a natural next date. Advice is greatly appreciated.

My only advice is to not let anonymous people on the internet determine whether a man's actions should bother you or not.

This should solely be on you. So, I'll turn the tables and ask you a question. Are *you* bothered by this?

christine24t

Yeah, maybe it was a joke. I don't think that he would reveal his "game" to you if he had a game. But maybe while you're out, you could crack a joke about it or make a note of the yummy nachos passing by your table.

BigBrewski

I think that it probably doesn't mean anything, just that he wants to meet you for drinks. If he didn't like you he wouldn't be wanting to meet up with you anyway. There's no reason to agonize over the "type" of date you perceive as good or bad. Just enjoy yourself (but not too much! Hahaha)

But enjoying yourself too much is the fun part!!!!

I wouldn't over think the "type" of date. Have you all talked a lot since the last date? Maybe he isn't sure your tastes in resturants and wants to make the first dinner date really special!!!

cheerforsteelers

I think that it probably doesn't mean anything, just that he wants to meet you for drinks. If he didn't like you he wouldn't be wanting to meet up with you anyway. There's no reason to agonize over the "type" of date you perceive as good or bad. Just enjoy yourself (but not too much! Hahaha)

I agree with this.

La_Amazona

Call the shots. He asked you out so obviously he wants to see you but have a say! I would say, "hey, how about you take me to dinner instead of drinks?"
Most men appreciate an assertive woman.

I have spoken up before in this exact manner and he proudly took me to a nice dinner. I felt great that I spoke up on what I wanted.

cinsuccess

Thanks everyone. I do think it may be a simple communication problem because neither of us has dated in a while... me because of my marriage and he was in a 4 year relationship. I've been told that sometimes I'm too direct so I'm always curious about how other would handle the same situation. Your responses have helped me a lot. :flowerforyou:

AnnaPixie

He might not have enough money to pay for dinner!!??

Since when is a dinner date a compulsory second date anyhow??

What if he fancies getting trollied and having fun and chatting, rather than sitting there looking at each other eat?

I see nothing wrong with a drinks date whatsoever :flowerforyou:

pa_jorg

I don't think it necessarily means anything. However, it could mean he's strapped for cash right now, so I think it's best to cut him some slack.

DMZ_1

I see no issue with this whatsoever. As long you two enjoy the presence of one another and are building attraction to one another based on whatever personal characteristics you both possess, that should really be all that matters.

cinsuccess

He might not have enough money to pay for dinner!!??

Since when is a dinner date a compulsory second date anyhow??

What if he fancies getting trollied and having fun and chatting, rather than sitting there looking at each other eat?

I see nothing wrong with a drinks date whatsoever :flowerforyou:

He told me explicitly on our first date that he doesn't really drink which is why it seemed odd. (I probably should have mentioned that in the original post.) I also know that money isn't an issue. I think it's more likely that he's looking for an opportunity to get a bit more touchy and dinner doesn't give you that option the way a bar does.

kls13la

What time are you meeting? It's possible that he is thinking that if drinks go well that will lead into dinner. I've had a number of early dates that went that route.

christine24t

He might not have enough money to pay for dinner!!??

Since when is a dinner date a compulsory second date anyhow??

What if he fancies getting trollied and having fun and chatting, rather than sitting there looking at each other eat?

I see nothing wrong with a drinks date whatsoever :flowerforyou:

He told me explicitly on our first date that he doesn't really drink which is why it seemed odd. (I probably should have mentioned that in the original post.) I also know that money isn't an issue. I think it's more likely that he's looking for an opportunity to get a bit more touchy and dinner doesn't give you that option the way a bar does.

Hmm...maybe he will get a non-alcoholic beer.

cinsuccess

What time are you meeting? It's possible that he is thinking that if drinks go well that will lead into dinner. I've had a number of early dates that went that route.

We're meeting at 7pm. I chose a bar that has decent food in case he decides he wants the option. Parking is difficult in Los Amgeles on a Saturday night so I try to be considerate so a guy doesn't have to pay twice for parking in the same night.

AnnaPixie

He might not have enough money to pay for dinner!!??

Since when is a dinner date a compulsory second date anyhow??

What if he fancies getting trollied and having fun and chatting, rather than sitting there looking at each other eat?

I see nothing wrong with a drinks date whatsoever :flowerforyou:

He told me explicitly on our first date that he doesn't really drink which is why it seemed odd. (I probably should have mentioned that in the original post.) I also know that money isn't an issue. I think it's more likely that he's looking for an opportunity to get a bit more touchy and dinner doesn't give you that option the way a bar does.

Touchy sounds good to me!! :bigsmile:

kls13la

We're meeting at 7pm. I chose a bar that has decent food in case he decides he wants the option. Parking is difficult in Los Amgeles on a Saturday night so I try to be considerate so a guy doesn't have to pay twice for parking in the same night.

That's prime eating time. I wouldn't be surprised if he ordered up some appetizers or something once you get there, or invited you to order some dinner. Have fun!!!

FitnessPalWorks

I see no issue with this whatsoever. As long you two enjoy the presence of one another and are building attraction to one another based on whatever personal characteristics you both possess, that should really be all that matters.

/\ /\ /\ THIS!

Natx83

There are no rules.

jesusHchris

I don't see this as downgraded. "Drinks" (even for one who does not imbibe) seems to me like a more intimate encounter. Instead of the focus being on selecting a meal, chewing, and pretending to like it, you are forced to talk about things other than food.

Sounds like an upgrade. Also, if you get too freaky and it scares him off, you can just blame it on the booze.

If he pays for the first round you have to sleep with him. There are rules.

meshashesha2012

i dont see this as downgraded, but then again I hate food related dates unless we're talking picnics. at least during picnics you can do other stuff instead of just sitting facing each other and chewing and trying to make sure you dont have spinach in your teeth or dropped something on your chin