Do you believe?
Options
Moe4572
Posts: 1,430 Member
....that "everything happens for a reason"?
The reason I ask is this.....I had met a guy on a dating site....great guy, but in a conversation, it came out that he "probably would never marry again, and would really have to be convinced to even live with someone again." So my feeling was what was the point in dating then....to just date forever and not go anywhere? So we did stay friendly, and realized quickly that it wouldn't have worked with us anyway.....he had 3+ jobs, and volunteering, in a band and had dogs that he would NOT leave....not with a dogsitter or keneel or anything so we would never travel anywhere...not likely to work. Anyway, awhile after we split, he started dating someone and I saw on facebook recently that he got engaged. I sent him a note congratulating him, because I truly am happy for him, but just got me thinking....everything happens for a reason.............or so my Nana always said. And, I do realize some people have such tragedy/trauma that they can't believe this.........
The reason I ask is this.....I had met a guy on a dating site....great guy, but in a conversation, it came out that he "probably would never marry again, and would really have to be convinced to even live with someone again." So my feeling was what was the point in dating then....to just date forever and not go anywhere? So we did stay friendly, and realized quickly that it wouldn't have worked with us anyway.....he had 3+ jobs, and volunteering, in a band and had dogs that he would NOT leave....not with a dogsitter or keneel or anything so we would never travel anywhere...not likely to work. Anyway, awhile after we split, he started dating someone and I saw on facebook recently that he got engaged. I sent him a note congratulating him, because I truly am happy for him, but just got me thinking....everything happens for a reason.............or so my Nana always said. And, I do realize some people have such tragedy/trauma that they can't believe this.........
0
Replies
-
....that "everything happens for a reason"?
100% absolutely! I even believe that we meet certain people at certain times in our lives for various reasons. The key is to remember that we might not know, understand or even appreciate WHY, but there is always a reason. So much to learn in this life for there not to be.0 -
There is no reason for why things happen. Although I realize that bothers people a lot, since it implies there's no purpose to the universe (which I believe is true).
Another interesting question is whether you believe in free will. I think I'm learning towards no free will. But again, the implications there are not pleasant to contemplate.
--P0 -
Well. . I think it does.. but that doesn't mean it's a reason you'll like!. . Maybe you get run over by a bus so they make buses safer!. . good for everyone else.. but no so much for you!0
-
No, I don't believe in fate or anything like that. People make good decisions and bad decisions.
But people say crap like that all the time. It's like when you drink too much and the next day you claim that you'll never drink again. But then the next weekend comes and you're back out on the town again. It's the same with relationships, people have one bad experience and they say it'll never happen again, but they change their mind.0 -
I used to believe everything happened for a reason, here lately I am abandoning that belief...the more I think about it, the less likely it seems.0
-
.. And, I do realize some people have such tragedy/trauma that they can't believe this.........
I really don't believe in any kind of destiny and can't pinpoint any related trauma for this thinking. Wondering why you think it's connected to trauma or tragedy? (Not trying to put you on the spot- just wondering)0 -
This question is so much bigger than a simple line. It bleeds into philosophy and religion quite rapidly.
Might as well ask if you believe there is a God.0 -
I have such an inner struggle with this. I am always trying to believe it .. because it is too hard to believe the alternative. My belief in God tells me one thing and my own experiences with life tells me another.0
-
....that "everything happens for a reason"?
100% absolutely! I even believe that we meet certain people at certain times in our lives for various reasons. The key is to remember that we might not know, understand or even appreciate WHY, but there is always a reason. So much to learn in this life for there not to be.
I'm with PJ. 100%. You werent right for each other and you were meant to be with the guy you're seeing now. Simples! :bigsmile:0 -
No,not in the sense that there is a secret or hidden benefit to all actions in life.
Sometimes things just happen for both good or bad.
In a religious sense are all things part of a master plan...if one believes that then that is the answer for them.
Can there be something beneficial or educational from most of lifes circumstances?...Yes,it is all what a person chooses to make of them and how to deal with them.
Some victims of tragic accidents so terrible we don`t even want to think about them go on and use that to help others.0 -
.. And, I do realize some people have such tragedy/trauma that they can't believe this.........
I really don't believe in any kind of destiny and can't pinpoint any related trauma for this thinking. Wondering why you think it's connected to trauma or tragedy? (Not trying to put you on the spot- just wondering)
I just meant that some people don't believe this due to trauma they have had to endure. Example....I once said this in front of friend, and her comment, was "that is not true....what could the reason possibly be for losing my baby right after birth or for you having a miscarrriage?" That is all I meant....... I agree with Carl stating that some people have endured terrible tragedy and then gone on to help others.
And, yes, I do believe in God....0 -
I’m a firm believer that everything happens because someone has allowed it to happen. Maybe it was not you but choices everyone including you lead up to "things happening". Yeah free will is here we are not predestined to be anything (life would be easier without choices). The sucky thing is that it isn’t just a single person’s will that is involved when dealing with people, so we can’t always get what we want.
But we shouldn’t stop trying
0 -
Humans are highly intelligent creatures and as such we are evolved to notice patterns, especially abstract ones. That's where religion comes from, our understanding of science and our ability to not only adapt to our environment, but our ability to adapt our environment to us.
Things are perceived to happen for a "reason" because any experience can be learned from. You meet someone in a bar and you end up marrying and being in love until you die holding hands after 60 years. "you can find love anywhere." You meet someone in a church and you date, turns out that person is an a-hole and someone ends up with a restraining order. "Now I know what warning signs to be aware of".
So it really depends on what you perceive as "everything happens for a reason". Is learning a reason? Sure. I can see that. I don't see it as this all powerful force that guides our lives, I just think it's part of our evolution. Whether or not things are out of our control, there's always something for us to learn and adapt from.0 -
I believe in "right place, right time".0
-
I am a believer in everything happens for a reason. I may not know the reason, or understand why it did or did not happen, but more often than not grateful for the outcome.
I think in this instance, it was just not in the cards for you to be with him. And that is ok, because I believe there is something/someone better out there meant for you!0 -
I believe in "right place, right time".
This.0 -
I don't know if I believe in it.
I've said that statement many times, but more often I ask the question "Why" why did that person come into my life, am I supposed to hold onto them, am I supposed to let them go, am I supposed to let them affect me in anyway. Am I supposed to help them in anyway.
Was it a coincidence? Was it "fate".
What am I supposed to do with this person, am I supposed to get anything out of "this" (meaning that person and I)
Oh my god just be greatful you aren't in my head. :noway:0 -
.. And, I do realize some people have such tragedy/trauma that they can't believe this.........
I really don't believe in any kind of destiny and can't pinpoint any related trauma for this thinking. Wondering why you think it's connected to trauma or tragedy? (Not trying to put you on the spot- just wondering)
I just meant that some people don't believe this due to trauma they have had to endure. Example....I once said this in front of friend, and her comment, was "that is not true....what could the reason possibly be for losing my baby right after birth or for you having a miscarrriage?" That is all I meant....... I agree with Carl stating that some people have endured terrible tragedy and then gone on to help others.
And, yes, I do believe in God....
Thanks for explaining. I'm always curious about how closely related fate thinking and religious faith are, and whether you were coming from a religious perspective. No judgement- just have a very different perspective.0 -
Well. . I think it does.. but that doesn't mean it's a reason you'll like!. . Maybe you get run over by a bus so they make buses safer!. . good for everyone else.. but no so much for you!
^^^ This, I believe this. I believe that you may not know the reasoning for things happening, but there is a reason. Very small things in life lead to larger things and intertwine into lives of those you don't even know. A large discussion for another day, but I most certainly do believe.0 -
....that "everything happens for a reason"?
100% absolutely!
agreed0
