Feeling like a big tub of goo!!!!!

blink1021

Ok so haven't gained a lot of weight but I did look in the mirror this morning and realized that I am huge. Doesn't help that I am large chested and she sits up high so I feel even bigger. I still have a ways to go I am only 34weeks 5days, but now I have to go to a christening on Sunday for my BIL and SIL daughter and I really do not want to. I have nothing to wear and then I have to go to a luncheon afterwards and make nice with SIL family which to some people is not tough but she is one of 8 and all her brothers and sisters are married with kids so you can imagine the amount of people at this thing. Seriously, if I have one more person try to touch my belly without asking I am going to punch them and I mean that. I think the fact that the only thing I can wear are yoga pants and elastic waisted pants is getting to me.

Now my other little dilemma is that my anniversary is Monday Nov. 12 and my husband is very excited for it and to be honest I would love to just skip it. I feel about as sexy as the wall and the thought of going out to eat and embarrassing myself because my giant belly won't fit in a booth (not sure it won't I just feel that big) isn't really on the top of my list. So for all my ladies how are you keeping the spark in your marriage/relationship or does anyone feel like I do? I have been doing great until I realize I have to go out in public and be social then my depression sets in. That is probably why my husband waited till this morning to tell me about the christening and I completely forgot my anniversary until he mentioned that today also. Pregnancy brain is killing me.

jamie31

I feel like a beached whale. My boyfriend keeps telling me i am beautful and i love him dearly for it but all i see is fat, pimples, frizzy hair and pale skin. I think we all were just so used to what we looked like before and especially in the third trimester the changes happen quickly and we are not ready for it. We kind of freak out a little. Well at least i have. Plus it doesnt help that maternity clothes dont make you feel sexy. Theres nothing sexy about stipping out of high waisted elastic pants and grannie panties! lol.

It ok though we all feel like that and soon we will have our little ones and honestly probably wont care what we look like for the first couple months!

jamie31

oh i completely didnt answer your spark question. Me and the man have been trying to do date night once a week. This day I will actually do my hair and makeup. i dont feel sexy but i sure look a lot better. We normally do dinner and a movie or shopping than , we try to make it feel like when we first started dating. We still hold hands all the time and cuddle at night so we never lost the spark but we do try to spice it up a lil if we can. I think you and hubby need to do a romantic date for your anniversary. He loves you and most likely loves the fact that your body is carrying his child. I think most guys find this extremely sexy ( even though we dont). Just try to go with the flow

Jenny_Rose77

I would definitely go out for my anniversary. Put on makeup and your prettiest outfit. I think you'll feel better.

On the possibly TMI front, I will share with you that I have not experienced the phenomenon of being especially horny during pregnancy. In fact, not at all. I feel bad for my husband though, so I generally throw the poor guy a bone by putting out about once a month. Interestingly, this makes him even more romantic than before we got preggo. I think he is always wondering "Will today be the day?" and "What can I do to make it happen?" Lol. Sorry, if that's TMI, but it's been working real well for me. :-)

blink1021

oh i completely didnt answer your spark question. Me and the man have been trying to do date night once a week. This day I will actually do my hair and makeup. i dont feel sexy but i sure look a lot better. We normally do dinner and a movie or shopping than , we try to make it feel like when we first started dating. We still hold hands all the time and cuddle at night so we never lost the spark but we do try to spice it up a lil if we can. I think you and hubby need to do a romantic date for your anniversary. He loves you and most likely loves the fact that your body is carrying his child. I think most guys find this extremely sexy ( even though we dont). Just try to go with the flow

That is so cute you guys hold hands. I can't remember the last time we held hands I think it was when we were dating. I think we have just been together for so long that we are just too comfortable and he thinks that since I have done this before I should have been prepared. Honestly with my son I carried him really low the whole pregnancy and I didn't even start showing till I was 30 weeks. This one I feel like I popped at 4 months. Anyways just complaining not sure yet what we are going to do since it is a school night for my son maybe I will do dinner for us at home after I get him to bed. Not sure I remember how to apply makeup I gave up on it in September I would rather sleep than take the extra time.

cmaxmor

Spark? Hahahahahahaha. This is my third kid. My dh and I learned from the first two that while we love each other, we shouldn't expect to feel all "sexy times" during pregnancy. Some people do. That's great. But I am sooooo not into it. We ha dour anniversary last week. We exchanged cards and had belly laughs about how boring and happy we are. Then I went to bed and he stayed up and played video games. It's fine. We have many years ahead of us to "make up for lost time".
As far as the family fest.... just send the family. Your in-laws will get it and if they don't..... oh well.

Mrshotwing

I think you should celebrate it. I know exactly how you feel. I told my husband last night that i feel like the GOOD YEAR BLIMP! Geez. he said i was gonna get you flowers for your birthday, but knew they would die, he then said and i was gonna get you new panites but you already bought some. lol. nothing to get a prego for her birthday cause no one better dare by me clothes lol.

I said lets just pick something out for the baby that we will need instead.

nursenikki829

Go out and treat yourself to a super- cute new outfit and get all dolled up for a great date with your hubby! My husband tells me I am sexy when I am pregnant, and that always makes me feel better about my big belly. It is important to have time together as a couple to keep the excitement in your relationship! All you need is a cute outfit, hot shoes and a little sexy make- up and you are ready to go! For the family event, I would just go pick up a pair of versatile black leggings and a tunic/ sweater. That will be appropriate for the event, but still comfy and can be used through the end of your pregnancy. I know it is tough to feel so big, but you are growing a baby! Enjoy being pregnant, I absolutely love it!

RBXChas

Ok so haven't gained a lot of weight but I did look in the mirror this morning and realized that I am huge. Doesn't help that I am large chested and she sits up high so I feel even bigger. I still have a ways to go I am only 34weeks 5days, but now I have to go to a christening on Sunday for my BIL and SIL daughter and I really do not want to. I have nothing to wear and then I have to go to a luncheon afterwards and make nice with SIL family which to some people is not tough but she is one of 8 and all her brothers and sisters are married with kids so you can imagine the amount of people at this thing. Seriously, if I have one more person try to touch my belly without asking I am going to punch them and I mean that. I think the fact that the only thing I can wear are yoga pants and elastic waisted pants is getting to me.

Now my other little dilemma is that my anniversary is Monday Nov. 12 and my husband is very excited for it and to be honest I would love to just skip it. I feel about as sexy as the wall and the thought of going out to eat and embarrassing myself because my giant belly won't fit in a booth (not sure it won't I just feel that big) isn't really on the top of my list. So for all my ladies how are you keeping the spark in your marriage/relationship or does anyone feel like I do? I have been doing great until I realize I have to go out in public and be social then my depression sets in. That is probably why my husband waited till this morning to tell me about the christening and I completely forgot my anniversary until he mentioned that today also. Pregnancy brain is killing me.

Do you have a comfy dress and maybe a cardigan to go over it? Can you dress it up with heels or boots? (I'm not sure how much water you are retaining in your feet/legs, but at 34w I would not have been able to do that last time. Thankfully I live in SC where flip-flops are wearable for most of the year.) I totally know what you mean about having nothing to wear and feeling like a beached whale.

Last time I was pregnant, I literally did not fit in a booth. It was really embarrassing. We had to switch to a table, and I swore I wouldn't go out to eat again until after our son was born. So I get that you don't want to go out, nor that you feel very romantic. I felt the same way last time. I'm not touchy-feely to begin with, but I was even less so when I was pregnant. We weren't the type of couple where my husband would rub my belly or whatnot. My husband would probably prefer that I be more cuddly, but it's just not me.

So yeah, we're not big on sparks flying on a regular basis (not that we're not intimate regularly, but, we also work together, so we're used to being around each other and keeping things "all business"), but during pregnancy, sparks are completely gone. As such, I don't have any advice on keeping the spark alive so much as suggesting that you be ok with the fact that there might not be any sparks for the next few weeks (and maybe a few weeks after that). It's totally ok! Your marriage will survive. (I will admit that we only had sex once during my last pregnancy, and that was pretty early on. This pregnancy we have yet to do it once (I'm 11.5 weeks). I've had the urge here and there, but when the chance to act on it arises, I just feel so tired. I think it's mental. But I know it's temporary, and eventually I will be more than happy to have sex again.)

My suggestion is to ask your husband that you not go out, maybe by saying you would love to order in [fill in type of food here], and maybe you can get him a little gift and a card to show you appreciate him. Just say that you have been really tired/uncomfortable lately and would prefer to enjoy a quiet night at home with him. Or you can do something fun that's not dinner-related, like go to a movie. I wouldn't give a crap what I was wearing to a movie... it's dark!

As for people trying to touch your belly (I *hate* that), if someone does it, I would just touch their head or their belly. It will make them uncomfortable, just like it makes you uncomfortable to have people touch your belly.

RBXChas

I also want to second the "treat yourself to a nice, new outfit" suggestion. When I was 30 weeks we had to go to a wedding, and I was so pissed because I didn't have anything nice to wear. I ended up getting a pretty dress for it, and even though I know I looked like a beached whale, I felt SO much better because at least the dress I was wearing made me look like a well-put-together beached whale

Wickedmeowmer

I would just like to say that although I have nothing to add; this whole thread made me feel better about feeling disgusting and not putting out. HA!

I want (and really do) feel appreciative about having a healthy baby and all, but sometimes it just suuuuucks.

Mrshotwing

I agree, i told someone the other day...

i am not one of those women that Loves being prego! I am sick, pale, big, and skin breakouts like crazy.

RBXChas

I would just like to say that although I have nothing to add; this whole thread made me feel better about feeling disgusting and not putting out. HA!

I want (and really do) feel appreciative about having a healthy baby and all, but sometimes it just suuuuucks.

Ha, awesome! I am also glad to know I'm not the only one who basically stops putting out as soon as she sees two pink lines. I'm just SO not into sex. It amazes me that there is actually porn starring pregnant women. I guess some guys are into that, but if she's not into it, oh well.

There's a great book called "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy," which is totally non-expert talk about pregnancy, very humorously written. It's basically all the stuff that no one ever tells you in a very blunt, honest fashion, and it's actually a quick read and easy to reference later. There's a whole section about sex and about the author and her friends, some of whom never wanted it, and some who wanted it all the time (and how creative they got about doing it). I just remember reading some part and laughing about some friend of hers who liked doing it against her bathroom counter because it hid her belly and made her boobs look awesome in the mirror :laugh:

But yeah, pregnancy does suck sometimes. I am not a huge fan of being pregnant. I don't like the attention it draws, either. Honestly I wish I could skip it and just be handed a newborn (or maybe a two- or three-month-old).

EmilyRanae22

I would just like to say that although I have nothing to add; this whole thread made me feel better about feeling disgusting and not putting out. HA!

I want (and really do) feel appreciative about having a healthy baby and all, but sometimes it just suuuuucks.

what she said

jamie31

oh i completely didnt answer your spark question. Me and the man have been trying to do date night once a week. This day I will actually do my hair and makeup. i dont feel sexy but i sure look a lot better. We normally do dinner and a movie or shopping than , we try to make it feel like when we first started dating. We still hold hands all the time and cuddle at night so we never lost the spark but we do try to spice it up a lil if we can. I think you and hubby need to do a romantic date for your anniversary. He loves you and most likely loves the fact that your body is carrying his child. I think most guys find this extremely sexy ( even though we dont). Just try to go with the flow

That is so cute you guys hold hands. I can't remember the last time we held hands I think it was when we were dating. I think we have just been together for so long that we are just too comfortable and he thinks that since I have done this before I should have been prepared. Honestly with my son I carried him really low the whole pregnancy and I didn't even start showing till I was 30 weeks. This one I feel like I popped at 4 months. Anyways just complaining not sure yet what we are going to do since it is a school night for my son maybe I will do dinner for us at home after I get him to bed. Not sure I remember how to apply makeup I gave up on it in September I would rather sleep than take the extra time.

I think we can still be considered a new couple. We have only been together 2 years, but you know i still see some old couples ( like in their 70s ) holding hands. We try to be affectionate as often as possible. We tell each other " i love you" numerous times a day and always have a kiss for one another. I am thinking that maybe it will help you feel better if you guys re introduced this back into your marriage. And theres nothing wrong with doing a nice dinner at home you can even cap it off with a romantics movie where you cuddle on the couch

Jenny_Rose77

I also want to second the "treat yourself to a nice, new outfit" suggestion. When I was 30 weeks we had to go to a wedding, and I was so pissed because I didn't have anything nice to wear. I ended up getting a pretty dress for it, and even though I know I looked like a beached whale, I felt SO much better because at least the dress I was wearing made me look like a well-put-together beached whale

^^THIS!!

Also, I am glad to know that I am not the only one who does not feel like putting out during pregnancy. All of my never-been-preggo friends ask me if I am super-horny because on TV/in movies they make it seem like that will be the case. And then my friends who were pregnant tell me they we so into sex during and postpartum. One was like, "Waiting six weeks was SOOOOO long!" I have felt like something must be wrong with me. Again, so glad to know I am not alone!!

RBXChas

I also want to second the "treat yourself to a nice, new outfit" suggestion. When I was 30 weeks we had to go to a wedding, and I was so pissed because I didn't have anything nice to wear. I ended up getting a pretty dress for it, and even though I know I looked like a beached whale, I felt SO much better because at least the dress I was wearing made me look like a well-put-together beached whale

^^THIS!!

Also, I am glad to know that I am not the only one who does not feel like putting out during pregnancy. All of my never-been-preggo friends ask me if I am super-horny because on TV/in movies they make it seem like that will be the case. And then my friends who were pregnant tell me they we so into sex during and postpartum. One was like, "Waiting six weeks was SOOOOO long!" I have felt like something must be wrong with me. Again, so glad to know I am not alone!!

Dude, postpartum the only thing I was happy to do in bed was SLEEP!