Would you be hurt if your SO thought others looked better?
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This sums me up exactly. I understand that a lot of people like to look, but don't rub my face in it! I don't want to hear about how hot a woman is or some particular body part of hers that is something I can never achieve.I'm with the majority on this. Feel free to admire discreetly, then remember all the other reasons you love me, and turn away. But for heavens' sake, don't make a regular thing of commenting on how 'hot' other women are in front of me. I wouldn't do it to you about other men, so extend me the same courtesy.
When I'm in a relationship, I'm not prone to checking out other men (except in really unusual situations, like the brother of the bride at a wedding, who my very straight ex-husband even said was so hot he almost fancied him
). I agree that it's so much more than looks that attracts me to a person, so I never want to disrespect my partner or make him feel jealousy/insecurity over me looking at another man when such superficial qualities in a person carry less weight than deeper things like personality, intelligence and humor. 0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around. I'm good with that :smokin:
eta: The "SO" in this situation is entirely hypothetical :laugh:0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around.
Kate, even though I sometimes have emotions that seem to contradict each other, I'm having trouble reconciling your two statements above. How would it be crushing someone's self esteem (para 1) to let a person know you think someone looks better when you both know (and you both KNOW each other knows) that there are people who look better?
I could see if my SO said it in a mean way, or constantly pointed out better looking people to try and tear me down... but the occasional "wow, look at him/her" isn't intended to hurt.0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around.
Kate, even though I sometimes have emotions that seem to contradict each other, I'm having trouble reconciling your two statements above. How would it be crushing someone's self esteem (para 1) to let a person know you think someone looks better when you both know (and you both KNOW each other knows) that there are people who look better?
I could see if my SO said it in a mean way, or constantly pointed out better looking people to try and tear me down... but the occasional "wow, look at him/her" isn't intended to hurt.
I know people who have a very high level of self confidence who would not be bothered by a statement like that. However, I just feel that there is no reason in the world to point out that I think someone else is better looking if I am with someone I truly love. I would most likely be hurt if my SO told me that he thought another woman was more attractive. If the man I'm with doesn't think I'm the hottest woman he's ever seen, than who will?0 -
Totally honest: I get jealous of hotter girls. But I know they are hotter, and it's not anything life altering, ill just think "damn that chick is hot. I'm hetero and I'd tap that *kitten*" and I pretty much say as much to a sig other. They can acknowledge it, that's fine. It would only actually be a problem if they said something to me in such a way that I thought they weren't respecting me and my feelings like "wow, that chick is way hotter than you, I need to trade up" which would be funny, but insensitive.
I think it's natural to have a tinge of jealousy, as long as it doesn't effect what you say/do/feel. Also, don't go holding against a guy what you think he's thinking (you think a girl is hot, so you start thinking he thinks she's hot so you think he'd rather be with her so you get mad at him... And he never did anything)0 -
They better not say it!!!0
