Would you be hurt if your SO thought others looked better?
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It's a competitive world out there.. so yes, there are going to be many, many better looking women out there. Most of the time, guys will look at an attractive women for a few seconds, think about it for another couple of seconds, and then completely forget out her. As long as he doesn't act on it, then I don't see any harm.
And put it in perspective.. would one of those 20 year old Spanish women w/ fake boobs and a killer butt be interested in your man in the first place? If not.. then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Would you be so sanguine about your female partner looking at and thinking about a hotter guy while she's with you?
Absolutely.
I know there are many better looking men out there than me, so I have no problem with a women doing some window shopping. It's just human nature.
I have a very cavalier attitude when it comes to stuff like this.
Fair enough. I'm with the majority on this. Feel free to admire discreetly, then remember all the other reasons you love me, and turn away. But for heavens' sake, don't make a regular thing of commenting on how 'hot' other women are in front of me. I wouldn't do it to you about other men, so extend me the same courtesy.
I definitely wouldn't make comments to a girlfriend if I saw a pretty girl at the gym.
"Hey honey.. look at dat *kitten* on that 19 year old!"
"Hey dear.. I can't stop staring at that petite Spanish woman's butt!"
I don't have a death wish :laugh:0 -
To me, there is always gonna be someone hotter than you. I think it's okay to acknowledge it, like I said, but no one needs to harp on it. It becomes a problem if the BF/GF is always staring at other people or making comments about others' hotness.
I would be offended if my guy said, "that girl is hotter than you," even if it's true and even if that is what I was thinking too. It just doesn't need to be said.
I agree. As long as he doesn't SAY it, then it's fine.. It's only natural.
If my guy wants to be with me, he will be with me. If he doesn't then he is free to leave and seek companionship elsewhere.0 -
I definitely wouldn't make comments to a girlfriend if I saw a pretty girl at the gym.
"Hey honey.. look at dat *kitten* on that 19 year old!"
"Hey dear.. I can't stop staring at that petite Spanish woman's butt!"
I don't have a death wish :laugh:
Wise move! :laugh:0 -
You guys think about this?
EDIT: Listen, this posts reeks of unnecessary insecurity.
Do your man a favor and stop entertaining these thoughts.
I have to say I like this.... I'd love to live by this....and I hope/assume that it will just take time for my brain to shut the "insecurity aka you've been hurt before" sabotage button off.
I'm gonna say that *I* dont think about this...but it creeps into my mind as much as I don't want it to, uninvited, it succeeds, hence time will be where I find the above said button. :bigsmile:
I am the kind of woman though that will, point out in front of a man that another woman's *kitten* or other part is exceptionally good looking....said via these words: "Dayum...."
Then I have to explain that yes I look at women too, no I'm not bi, and it's ok to look. "It doesnt matter where you work your appetite up, as long as you eat at home" :laugh:0 -
When you really love someone, they really are the most attractive hottest person in the world to you though. Like I can see a drop dead gorgeous man and say to myself, that's a drop dead gorgeous man! But then I see the person Im in love with and Im like........ wait what was I saying?0
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When you really love someone, they really are the most attractive hottest person in the world to you though. Like I can see a drop dead gorgeous man and say to myself, that's a drop dead gorgeous man! But then I see the person Im in love with and Im like........ wait what was I saying?
Yes, Yoovie nailed it. For me, I can think someone is hot, but so much more attraction comes from that connection you have with a partner (when you are with the RIGHT partner). Also, NOT being insecure usually ups your attractiveness level as well, so not being all insecure when around people you may "think" are more attractive is usually a good thing as well.0 -
I feel that there will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier, etc. When my boyfriend and I are out in public we comment on people, tell each other we think they are hot or if we'd do them, but we both know there is no one in the world better than each other.0
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When you really love someone, they really are the most attractive hottest person in the world to you though. Like I can see a drop dead gorgeous man and say to myself, that's a drop dead gorgeous man! But then I see the person Im in love with and Im like........ wait what was I saying?
Most of the time when I see a gorgeous man I suspect he's an arrogant jerk. And since it's personality more than looks I don’t really care too much unless he proves me wrong by displaying a great personality.0 -
And put it in perspective.. would one of those 20 year old Spanish women w/ fake boobs and a killer butt be interested in your man in the first place? If not.. then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
This bothers me for a couple reasons... first of all, I didn't say anything about 20 year olds. Most of these women are in their late 30s/early 40s. Secondly, I didn't say I was worried about him being around them. I know I'm not the best looker in the world, but I do pretty well for myself, even at a size 16 180 lbs. And the final reason this bothers me: it almost implies that I and/or my boyfriend are not that great anyway, so who cares if you’re around hotter people cuz no one wants either of you anyway.
Life is about more than just a hot body. I see hot guys all the time, but they don't turn me on like the man who loves me.0 -
mature
Of course, I am going to notice other attractive people. So will he. BUT when I am in love, when I am totally "into" a man, it doesn't matter about all the other eye candy, because, to me, he is the most gorgeous man on the face of the planet. Does that mean that somehow physically he transformed into a greek god over the course of our dating relationship? Ummm, no. It just means that I'm so inclined to him that I don't pay attention to anyone else...
Clear as mud?0 -
This sums me up exactly. I understand that a lot of people like to look, but don't rub my face in it! I don't want to hear about how hot a woman is or some particular body part of hers that is something I can never achieve.I'm with the majority on this. Feel free to admire discreetly, then remember all the other reasons you love me, and turn away. But for heavens' sake, don't make a regular thing of commenting on how 'hot' other women are in front of me. I wouldn't do it to you about other men, so extend me the same courtesy.
When I'm in a relationship, I'm not prone to checking out other men (except in really unusual situations, like the brother of the bride at a wedding, who my very straight ex-husband even said was so hot he almost fancied him
). I agree that it's so much more than looks that attracts me to a person, so I never want to disrespect my partner or make him feel jealousy/insecurity over me looking at another man when such superficial qualities in a person carry less weight than deeper things like personality, intelligence and humor. 0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around. I'm good with that :smokin:
eta: The "SO" in this situation is entirely hypothetical :laugh:0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around.
Kate, even though I sometimes have emotions that seem to contradict each other, I'm having trouble reconciling your two statements above. How would it be crushing someone's self esteem (para 1) to let a person know you think someone looks better when you both know (and you both KNOW each other knows) that there are people who look better?
I could see if my SO said it in a mean way, or constantly pointed out better looking people to try and tear me down... but the occasional "wow, look at him/her" isn't intended to hurt.0 -
My SO better not ever let me know he thinks someone else looks better, because I would never in a million years do that to him. I don't believe in crushing people's self-esteem.
That being said, I'm not crazy. I know he notices more attractive women, just as I notice more attractive men. I would never consider myself to be beautiful, but I think I'm pretty cute. That, with my personality and intelligence make for a pretty good package all around.
Kate, even though I sometimes have emotions that seem to contradict each other, I'm having trouble reconciling your two statements above. How would it be crushing someone's self esteem (para 1) to let a person know you think someone looks better when you both know (and you both KNOW each other knows) that there are people who look better?
I could see if my SO said it in a mean way, or constantly pointed out better looking people to try and tear me down... but the occasional "wow, look at him/her" isn't intended to hurt.
I know people who have a very high level of self confidence who would not be bothered by a statement like that. However, I just feel that there is no reason in the world to point out that I think someone else is better looking if I am with someone I truly love. I would most likely be hurt if my SO told me that he thought another woman was more attractive. If the man I'm with doesn't think I'm the hottest woman he's ever seen, than who will?0 -
Totally honest: I get jealous of hotter girls. But I know they are hotter, and it's not anything life altering, ill just think "damn that chick is hot. I'm hetero and I'd tap that *kitten*" and I pretty much say as much to a sig other. They can acknowledge it, that's fine. It would only actually be a problem if they said something to me in such a way that I thought they weren't respecting me and my feelings like "wow, that chick is way hotter than you, I need to trade up" which would be funny, but insensitive.
I think it's natural to have a tinge of jealousy, as long as it doesn't effect what you say/do/feel. Also, don't go holding against a guy what you think he's thinking (you think a girl is hot, so you start thinking he thinks she's hot so you think he'd rather be with her so you get mad at him... And he never did anything)0 -
They better not say it!!!0
