sharing hopes/fears

finding_sammi

umm ok let's see:

my hope is that my eating disorder will not hurt or has not harmed my children. My younger daughter is gonna be 14 next month and I know how vulnerable girls are to peer/media pressure re body image n stuff, so that it's tough for ANY teen-girl. I just worry more because I don't want her to end up like me...

my fear: ha just realized how complex this is (ie the hope was supposed to be positive!! and just the fear neg, but my hope is bound tightly with fear pfffft!) Its funny: I started this topic to get a conversation going, but I've made a discovery about myself in the process!

ps I know that worrying is a waste of energy and all that jazz... mostly with my kid I just try to make healthy family meals and 'sneak' subtle compliments in (I have to be mindful coz my daughter doesn't like fuss and is great at eye-rolling and using the word 'meh' if I'm too nice lol

stargalsal

Sammi.... Fear and hope and love are often stiffly intertwined. That's what i have been discovering of late anyway. I think that there is such a fine line for parents in creating healthy food thought patterns (along with everything that you are trying to instill in your kids lives) and this is particularly more challenging if your own relationship with food is or has been skewed. I think you doing the best for you in your 'recovery' is a strong and healthy message for your children.

So as you have shared with us your hope, fear and aha moment ...here are mine:

My hope: that i can one day look in the mirror and truly love the person i am...in whatever physical vessel i happen to be in at the time. My hope is that i can inspire others to love themselves too...but i have realized, i need to live it and feel it and know first.

My fear: that nothing will change...no matter what i do. That my body will give up on my goals. That it will defy the universal laws of nature, just because it has to be different and difficult! and refuse to budge the extra weight that makes me feel less of me. There is an expression I have just now remembered as i write this :What is fear? False Evidence Appearing Real. And that is very real for me at the moment. I have listened to those voices in my head that give me all the reasons for failure, those voices that want me to wallow in my fear and hold me back. Truth is, fear is just another way for us to not really live.

So maybe i might expand a little more on my hope: My hope is that i will live, in spite of my fears.

eazieske

my hopes are to really love my self because i am over weight and i often hate to see myself in the mirror I love to dress up and make myself look good every day but i hate the way i look my body form so that is one of my goals is to really look at my self in the mirror and not feel disgusted.... another goal is to start walking more and being more fit for my future i already have diabeties and high blood pressure I need to get my body healthy for my own sake!!! so i hope we all can pull together and be supportive of one another thank you all for being here in this challenge

laserturkey

My hopes are:
Someday the excess loose skin on my upper arms may shrink to the point where I can wear short sleeves without feeling like a carnival freak show attraction (Actually pretty sure this will never happen without surgery)
Someday I will eventually earn a black belt in taekwondo (I was working on red when I had to quit; starting all over from the beginning now.)
I will live long enough to stop being terrified of dying, to feel like I have lived a good life and my kids will remember me well
My daughter will someday not absolutely hate me and may even feel kindly toward me

My fears are:
Death
Colon cancer/colostomy
Harm coming to my children

Wow. I am 10 pounds of anxiety in a 5-pound sack.