the text said that sucks...my picture :(
kansasbelle
Posts: 264 Member
The last text I had sent to him was a picture of me and my mom. He was on me like white on rice prior to that. I said I was curvy. I'm a 16and don't even shop in the plus size section anymore. He said he liked curvy girls that didn't look like 12 year old boys. DD's keep that from happening for sure. 
It really killed me. It's so hard to find dates here in Kansas and that was just so mean. Made me cry. Why didn't he just not text me at all.
I was only looking fora date for the end of the world next month LMAO :flowerforyou: I guess I will die all alone in Western Kansas. There loss. I am darn good catch. Look in my late 20's... sweetest Southern Belle you'll ever meet. I work in Social services and have a heart of gold and the right man in time would discover my wild streak. lucky them. What happened to patience y'all or simple kindness.
Do no men like girls that are a work in progress? That wear their curves well?
It really killed me. It's so hard to find dates here in Kansas and that was just so mean. Made me cry. Why didn't he just not text me at all.I was only looking fora date for the end of the world next month LMAO :flowerforyou: I guess I will die all alone in Western Kansas. There loss. I am darn good catch. Look in my late 20's... sweetest Southern Belle you'll ever meet. I work in Social services and have a heart of gold and the right man in time would discover my wild streak. lucky them. What happened to patience y'all or simple kindness.
Do no men like girls that are a work in progress? That wear their curves well?
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Men can be heartless, then again so can us women. I am sorry he hurt your feelings. If it makes you feel any better, I have gone from a size 32 to a 10, and I get told I am fat.
Hang in there. Someone who can appreciate you for you will embrace you and all your curves. Remember though, online dating, thick skin is required.0 -
Remember though, online dating, thick skin is required.
This.
Online dating is OK, but I've always had better luck meeting people at bars or through friends.0 -
he responded " that sucks" to your picture?????
that's awful. i am so sorry!!! i have had guys stop texting or whatever after receiving a picture from me, but never said anything hurtful or hateful.
there are men that will like your " in the works" body! it just takes time to find them. guys are SOOOOO driven by what they see, it's kinda sad actually.
((((HUGS))))0 -
Darling,
Some people (men or women) are just not kind. He may have had a different definition of curvy however.. and it is his right to have those definitions and natural preferences. People do. The response you got though - tells you exactly what kind of "man" he is. Would you have wanted him anyway? Uh uh. Truthfully, he probably saved you a great deal of trouble and heartache.
I am a size 16/18 and get considerable attention these days. It may have more to do with confidence, honestly. I openly acknowledge that I am working on my fitness, but don't make apologies for it, or talk up other features to compensate. I'm just me.
I have had the odd person I met on line discriminate size wise..so I actually think it is easier to meet people in person. The less you can text also.. the better.
Regroup. Focus on you. Get your confidence back. And wear something tight and more low cut to show off the girls. That always works for me.0 -
I'm confused. You met online, yet he hadn't seen your picture yet? You then were communicating with him and told him you were curvy? And then you texted him a picture of you and he responded with "that sucks"?0
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Regroup. Focus on you. Get your confidence back. And wear something tight and more low cut to show off the girls. That always works for me.
:laugh: love your attitude SB!!
OP - do NOT let some poor excuse of a bloke off the internet have ANY influence in your life!! All those douche's do, is get off on upsetting women. How dare he!!!!!! I'm thoroughly appalled by the treatment some people (yes, women can be bad too) give out and I can only hope they rot in their lonely hell!!
Pick yourself up and go flaunt your bod to the world :flowerforyou:0 -
there seems to be a disconnect between what men consider curvy and what some overweight women consider curvy. unfortunately for some women, curvy is just a better sounding euphemism for overweight.
real talk from my guy friends is that when they see or hear the word curvy they are thinking beyonce, christina hendricks, j lo. christina seems to get a pass because her waist size is so ridiculously tiny compared to the rest of her, but in general having big boobs doesn't make you curvy, neither does having a big but unless there's also a tiny waist to go along with that. beyond that, overweight is just overweight.
sorry that you got your feelings hurt, but I'm not going to hate on the guy. physical attraction is a HUGE must for me in terms of dating a guy (along with other things of course), because i can't make out with or fool around with anyone i'm not physically attracted to. from what i understand many guys are the same way.
not everyone develops a physical or sexual attraction to someone based solely on their personality and goodness of their heart. sounds like this guy is one of those people.
i wouldnt feel bad about it, just look for someone who is going to appreciate you the way you are now
would you have wanted that ? or would it still end up being a post created trying to speculate what happened to him?Why didn't he just not text me at all.0 -
I just don't respond if there is no picture. What this guy did was rude. I don't know a polite way to say I'm sorry but I don't find you attractive. Getting a picture and then poofing seems impolite too.0
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Poofing is the way to go in this situation. There's no need to say "that sucks" or anything, that's just rude.0
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I am sorry, that was rude of him. Also, I would suggest putting a pic of your whole body on the website you are on, so you don't have to go through this again.0
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He had several pictures it was just the one of me and my mom.... He actually sawa full legnth picture taken this week and said I was sexy... so...that's what got me..maybe he thought I would look like my 66 year old mom...0
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Im gonna tell you what my Mom told me.. You will have to kiss a LOT of toads to find your prince.
Dont take other peoples opinions of you to heart. Its how you feel about yourself not them. I know its hard. You know my situation, the best you can look is full of confidence no matter your size. It all it took was a photo to chase him off then you are better off to have him gone than to be thinking there could be something.
Relax dont be in such a rush to find someone. Find you first, make some more friends, male and female to just hang out with. The rest will follow...
For what its worth I think you are beautiful inside and out.. :flowerforyou:0 -
I am so sorry this happened to you! I have been there… it hurts…
Unfortunately, like meshashesha20’s quote below, a lot of guys hear curvy or DD and automatically think of a tiny curvy girl. Even when men see full body pictures of me before we meet, I still get comments like “I thought you’d be smaller.” It hurts, but at the same time I realize it’s because I have a great shape and they’re not used to seeing a bigger girl be so shapely.
Hang in there and don’t let losers like this get you down. He’s got the problem, not you.there seems to be a disconnect between what men consider curvy and what some overweight women consider curvy. unfortunately for some women, curvy is just a better sounding euphemism for overweight.
real talk from my guy friends is that when they see or hear the word curvy they are thinking beyonce, christina hendricks, j lo. christina seems to get a pass because her waist size is so ridiculously tiny compared to the rest of her, but in general having big boobs doesn't make you curvy, neither does having a big but unless there's also a tiny waist to go along with that.0 -
I have this picture up there and another that shows my curves..I have a an hourglass figure and am proud of it. I worked hard to get where I am. I think I look good.0
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there seems to be a disconnect between what men consider curvy and what some overweight women consider curvy. unfortunately for some women, curvy is just a better sounding euphemism for overweight.
real talk from my guy friends is that when they see or hear the word curvy they are thinking beyonce, christina hendricks, j lo. christina seems to get a pass because her waist size is so ridiculously tiny compared to the rest of her, but in general having big boobs doesn't make you curvy, neither does having a big but unless there's also a tiny waist to go along with that. beyond that, overweight is just overweight.
sorry that you got your feelings hurt, but I'm not going to hate on the guy. physical attraction is a HUGE must for me in terms of dating a guy (along with other things of course), because i can't make out with or fool around with anyone i'm not physically attracted to. from what i understand many guys are the same way.
not everyone develops a physical or sexual attraction to someone based solely on their personality and goodness of their heart. sounds like this guy is one of those people.
i wouldnt feel bad about it, just look for someone who is going to appreciate you the way you are now
would you have wanted that ? or would it still end up being a post created trying to speculate what happened to him?Why didn't he just not text me at all.
I agree with this, 100% and thankfully someone wrote it before I did because I was agonizing how to be PC with it.
Probably the only thing that I disagree with is that he was incredibly rude in response. There is a tactful way to respond (or not respond at all).
I definitely have a problem when overweight/obese women claim they are "curvy" "Shapely" or "voluptuous" because it is clearly and intentionally misleading.0 -
there seems to be a disconnect between what men consider curvy and what some overweight women consider curvy. unfortunately for some women, curvy is just a better sounding euphemism for overweight.
real talk from my guy friends is that when they see or hear the word curvy they are thinking beyonce, christina hendricks, j lo. christina seems to get a pass because her waist size is so ridiculously tiny compared to the rest of her, but in general having big boobs doesn't make you curvy, neither does having a big but unless there's also a tiny waist to go along with that. beyond that, overweight is just overweight.
sorry that you got your feelings hurt, but I'm not going to hate on the guy. physical attraction is a HUGE must for me in terms of dating a guy (along with other things of course), because i can't make out with or fool around with anyone i'm not physically attracted to. from what i understand many guys are the same way.
not everyone develops a physical or sexual attraction to someone based solely on their personality and goodness of their heart. sounds like this guy is one of those people.
i wouldnt feel bad about it, just look for someone who is going to appreciate you the way you are now
would you have wanted that ? or would it still end up being a post created trying to speculate what happened to him?Why didn't he just not text me at all.
Gotta admitt this guy wrote a blunt/yet awesome response, he's being upfront about what guys like...he apologized for the guy that was a total d-bag for hurting your feelings...and he even pointed out that if the aforementioned D-bag would've just "not replied" that your feelings would still be hurt bc in your heart you'd know there was something about you that the D-bag didnt like....bottom line he's not the right guy for you and he def doesnt deserve anymore of your thoughts.0 -
I have this picture up there and another that shows my curves..I have a an hourglass figure and am proud of it. I worked hard to get where I am. I think I look good.
I do too...so do a LOT of people... many folks who only know me from online pix think I look phenomenal.
BUT I can't bury my head in the sand.
When guys see my pictures, they aren't expecting me to be size 16 and 180 pounds. Girls who are shaped like me are usually size 6/8 130 pounds.
He didn’t need to say hurtful things. He could have poofed or just say he’s not interested. But he is a jerk. He was rude. And, unfortunately, if my experience is anything to judge by, he is all too common.0 -
there seems to be a disconnect between what men consider curvy and what some overweight women consider curvy. unfortunately for some women, curvy is just a better sounding euphemism for overweight.
real talk from my guy friends is that when they see or hear the word curvy they are thinking beyonce, christina hendricks, j lo. christina seems to get a pass because her waist size is so ridiculously tiny compared to the rest of her, but in general having big boobs doesn't make you curvy, neither does having a big but unless there's also a tiny waist to go along with that. beyond that, overweight is just overweight.
sorry that you got your feelings hurt, but I'm not going to hate on the guy. physical attraction is a HUGE must for me in terms of dating a guy (along with other things of course), because i can't make out with or fool around with anyone i'm not physically attracted to. from what i understand many guys are the same way.
not everyone develops a physical or sexual attraction to someone based solely on their personality and goodness of their heart. sounds like this guy is one of those people.
i wouldnt feel bad about it, just look for someone who is going to appreciate you the way you are now
would you have wanted that ? or would it still end up being a post created trying to speculate what happened to him?Why didn't he just not text me at all.
Gotta admitt this guy wrote a blunt/yet awesome response, he's being upfront about what guys like...he apologized for the guy that was a total d-bag for hurting your feelings...and he even pointed out that if the aforementioned D-bag would've just "not replied" that your feelings would still be hurt bc in your heart you'd know there was something about you that the D-bag didnt like....bottom line he's not the right guy for you and he def doesnt deserve anymore of your thoughts.
hey! i'm a girl (shakes tatas). i guess the gun pic makes it seem like a dude.:laugh:
but i definitely think it's a no win situation in terms of how to respond. either he says thanks but no thanks or he doesn't reply either one can be taken badly and either one makes him seem like a shallow douche.
i agree with the person who said to include a current full length photo. i describe myself as overweight but i've had guys tell me that they dont consider me overweight (which could be a load of crap) but it's easier to just have some full body shots and let them decide individually.
also dont let it knock your self esteem. one person's too large is another person's just right is another person's too small.. :flowerforyou:0 -
I would have replied "what sucks?" If he's already seen a full length shot then it seems like a weird response. Like maybe he texted the wrong person because he was having two conversations and the other person lost their job or cat or something.
If it was because he didn't like your pic then he is rude. You are more than a picture and unfortunately that's all you have to base attraction on if you haven't met in person. Try not to take it personally.0 -
I would have replied "what sucks?" If he's already seen a full length shot then it seems like a weird response. Like maybe he texted the wrong person because he was having two conversations and the other person lost their job or cat or something.
If it was because he didn't like your pic then he is rude. You are more than a picture and unfortunately that's all you have to base attraction on if you haven't met in person. Try not to take it personally.
I was just thinking that actually. It's kind of a strange response. Or maybe he was joking because he wanted a nekkie pic and you weren't ponying up?0 -
I would have replied "what sucks?" If he's already seen a full length shot then it seems like a weird response. Like maybe he texted the wrong person because he was having two conversations and the other person lost their job or cat or something.
I would have too...just to see what he says.0 -
Im sorry your feelings were hurt. And great job on your progress.
I will say I don't consider a 16 curvy unless you're 6 ft tall. I would consider a 16 and above BBW. This is subjective but a lot of guys I've talked to have told me. I was once an 18, and I had to work hard so I understand. It's just these terms can mislead and confuse others.
My cousin who's a size 18 and 5'5 put "average" on her profile. She did go on and say she was a curvy gal (in her profile) and that she loved being curvy. I thought that was completely misleading. Her pics were flattering ones and of her face, which is beautiful.
But in the end, what you think about yourself matters most. Be proud of you and if he was that rude to someone he hardly knows, imagine what an asshat he is to people he does know.0 -
But in the end, what you think about yourself matters most. Be proud of you and if he was that rude to someone he hardly knows, imagine what an asshat he is to people he does know.
Agreed!! And I have to applaud your use of asshat. I didn't know that was a commonly used term, but I love it. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well, judging from the one pic that I can see on your profile, you are a beautiful woman.
Some guys are just really douchey. Don't let just one guy get you down. There are billions of others out there and somewhere there is one that will appreciate you.0 -
He was probably expecting something a "more" than just a pic of you and your Mom... In any case, keep your head up, the online game is brutal.0
