Any geriatric mamas? Advanced maternal age...ugh!
jenluvsushi
Posts: 933 Member
So apparently I am an old fart with decrepit old eggs :huh: At the ripe old age of 38, I am considered advanced maternal age. Is it just me or does that just sound horrible? My doctor also happened to mention to me (after I told her how nervous I am) that I am at a 35% chance of miscarriage and there is nothing they can do about it. I am totally freaked out....I will be nine weeks on Wednesday. Anyone else in the same boat as me? I wish I could calm myself, but I just have the worst feeling that something bad is going to happen or that I am already unknowingly carrying around a lifeless little embryo. I have two healthy easily conceived children and no prior known miscarriages. Nobody really understands this worry more than other pregnant women. Any words of advice appreciated!
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I am 38 also! My Dr did the same to me, and me and hubs left the dr office feeling like we should be entering the guiness book of world records for oldest couple to be crazy enough to conceive or something! Lol!
And we got the same scary percent told to us of miscarriage. I was totally freaked out until I got past the 1st tri last week.
I too, have had all healthy pregnancies, 3, and no miscarriages, We are both SO lucky!
anyway, I focused on the fact that we have always had healthy pregnancies, and My dr agreed that that makes a big difference.
My Dr did order a ultrasound at week 7 which calmed me a lot. Ask your Dr if you could do the same. Or even hearing the heartbeat .....0 -
Well you are almost out of the first trimester and that's when the risk of miscarriage goes down *dramatically*. So take heart, you will soon be out of the most precarious phase. It's really annoying that they would give you scary statistics like that though without there even being an actual reason for concern. Stress is not exactly great for pregnant women and bam, here's some stress for you. I mean seriously. Sometimes I wonder if even dr's think before they speak.
And honestly, if you're not completely comfortable with your dr, give yourself permission to shop around. I switched at 28 weeks with my first pregnancy and in my second I switched right after the standard anatomy ultrasound (I think I had it at 18 weeks last time). (This time ere will be no switching unless I have a medical need to see someone different - I'm seeing the midwife I used last time and my experience was 99% what I wanted, cant get much better than that). You really want someone that you have a good relationship with, someone who makes you feel comfortable and taken care of. If you leave a visit freaking out, they're not doing the job you need them to do. There is a way to relay information without completely stressing people out. And if they are not picking up on how their bedside manner (or lack thereof) is affecting you, well to me that's a problem. I want someone who has people skills and can understand how I'm feeling, empathize, and offer some mental and emotional comfort along the way. Just my $0.02. Remember, dr's and midwives work for you. You are a paying customer. Yes they are experts in their field but that dosnt mean just any one is right for you.0 -
Don't be afraid to flip off your doctor if he/she makes you uncomfortable or is being an insensitive *kitten*. I did exactly that to mine a month or so ago (verbally at least... though I should've given him the finger too), and it was awesome.
Don't worry until you have something to worry about. You may be at higher risk for miscarriage, but that does not mean you WILL miscarry. Many younger women miscarry often too. Just work on being as healthy and positive as you can.0 -
I will be 35 at delivery and was worried the whole time too.... 14 weeks now and headed for an ultrasound today.
Sometimes ALL the information and statistics make is worse IMO.....causing more worry. I agree about having an ultrasound or listening to the heartbeat, all of these things have soothed me.
Hang in there!:flowerforyou:0 -
I am 38 years old and this is my first. I am a nervous wreck but honestly it's not age related. I think it's the baby boards that are getting to me! My doctor never even used the term advanced maternal age with me. Most of my friends are having their babies now in their late thirties/early forties. We're ok. So the rate for miscarriage is higher for us. It's really not that
much higher. I think it's somewhere around 20-25 percent for women under 35.0 -
My mom's best friend from HS had her first at age 40 and second at age 42/43 and both were full term, healthy babies w/no issues. Honestly, you know your body better than anyone and if you're taking care of yourself by eating right and exercising, then you and your baby should be just fine. And as someone else said, once you get out of the first tri, the chance of a miscarriage DRASTICALLY decreases. Good luck!0
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My mom had me at age 39 and my brother when she was 42. Everything was healthy and fine. Your doc doesn't sound like she's got the greatest bedside manner.0
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Another old fart here. As you can see from my profile pic, I can barely get around without my walker.
This is my third baby to have past the ripe old age of 35. Other than a bit of anemia, I am (as my midwife says) a "very healthy woman". All my babies have been healthy as well. It is not unusual to see women these days in their late 30s and 40s having babies. Maybe the risk of miscarriage or other problems goes up slightly *statistically*...but *anectdotally*, I haven't seen any more problems with us older gals than I have with my younger pregnant friends. For me personally, my age has not been among my list of worries.
Just take care of yourself and the baby, and try to not worry too much.0 -
Another older yummy mummy here too ... I'll be breastfeeding a 4 month old on my 40th birthday!! Woohooo! LOL!
I'm 26 weeks now. I have friends who have had babies much older than us! We'll be fine, and your past history means a lot, I reckon.0 -
I am 36 and will be 37 when the baby is born. During the first trimester, regardless of age of the mother, there isn't anything they can do to stop a miscarriage. Just be as healthy and positive as you can and what will happen will happen. I know plenty of 40+ mommas that even had healthy pregnancies with twins.
My biggest regret from my first child is that I didn't switch to a new doctor when I didn't get along with my doctor. I felt that there were a lot of things just not handled quite right and I couldn't stand how he talked to me all along. If you have any feelings that your doc is not the one for you, find a new one.0 -
I am not yet considered "advanced," but I will have just turned 33 when I have this baby. My OB didn't mention anything about increased risks, but she told me that she expects this pregnancy to be nice and smooth like last time. (Did I mention I love her?) This tells me that she puts more stock in the fact that (1) I have already had a healthy pregnancy/baby, and (2) I got my *kitten* together and got myself healthy before getting pregnant this time, so my body is in great shape, internally speaking.
However, I freaked myself out by looking at the statistics and was CONVINCED that something was going to go wrong, that I was walking around with an embryo who was no longer living. Of course, I could still have a miscarriage at any point, but the chances are now super slim (I'm 14w2d) and getting slimmer as I progress. I was still freaked out even after having a good ultrasound at almost 8 weeks. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear the heartbeat when I went back at almost 13 weeks! Now I'm just trying to chill out, especially knowing that before long I will be able to feel regular movement.
Anyhow, as for the statistics comment, I would give your doctor the benefit of the doubt, but it probably didn't need to be said. If you're really uncomfortable with him/her, then switch. Sometimes another doctor within the same practice might be the person you are most comfortable with.
Additionally, you've had no problems in the past, all healthy pregnancies. That bodes really well for you for this time, too! You just have to try to breathe and go with the flow (easier said than done, I know!). My SIL, who's 29, just had a D&C because she had a blighted ovum (a/k/a, "empty sac"), and a friend of mine, who's 31, just had an unexplained miscarriage at 8 weeks this past September. Miscarriages can happen to healthy, young people, so youth is no guarantee of a healthy pregnancy, just like "advanced maternal age" is no guarantee that you'll have a miscarriage. Even if we go back to that statistic, you are far more likely to have a healthy pregnancy than not!0 -
Thank you all so much for your comments. I have been such a worry wart which isn't good for anyone. My doctor is actually fantastic....I brought her my concerns after I googled myself into a tizzy (I soooo need to stop with the on-line "research") and she tried to calm me down. She did admit the statistics but also told me she has no reason to believe that I won't deliver another healthy baby. I went to her trying to get her to give me progesterone suppositories because I am worried that my levels are low (they were on the low side of borderline prior to becoming pregnant)....there is a link between low progesterone and miscarriages. They pretty much won't give me progesterone unless I have had at least three miscarriages....she said it is experimental and they don't know if it really works or not. I guess if there is a 35% chance of M/C and you've already had three, chances are that the fourth might stick regardless of progesterone therapy or not. There is not a whole lot that they can do to prevent miscarriage so I guess I just need to have faith it will all be ok. I have an appointment this coming Tuesday and I am praying we can find the heartbeat....wish me luck and thank you all again!!!!0
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Thank you all so much for your comments. I have been such a worry wart which isn't good for anyone. My doctor is actually fantastic....I brought her my concerns after I googled myself into a tizzy (I soooo need to stop with the on-line "research") and she tried to calm me down. She did admit the statistics but also told me she has no reason to believe that I won't deliver another healthy baby. I went to her trying to get her to give me progesterone suppositories because I am worried that my levels are low (they were on the low side of borderline prior to becoming pregnant)....there is a link between low progesterone and miscarriages. They pretty much won't give me progesterone unless I have had at least three miscarriages....she said it is experimental and they don't know if it really works or not. I guess if there is a 35% chance of M/C and you've already had three, chances are that the fourth might stick regardless of progesterone therapy or not. There is not a whole lot that they can do to prevent miscarriage so I guess I just need to have faith it will all be ok. I have an appointment this coming Tuesday and I am praying we can find the heartbeat....wish me luck and thank you all again!!!!
I've had myself convinced I was dying many times based on internet "research." I try to keep myself from doing it but can't help myself!
But your doctor is right, that based on your good track record, there's little to worry about.
I happened to find this today, totally by chance: http://www.mommyish.com/2012/11/21/pregnancy-health/advanced-maternal-age-pregnancy/
It's a blog post by a pregnant 39-year-old who did not appreciate being bombarded by reminders about and interventions due to her "advanced maternal age." I hope you all enjoy it!0 -
It's a blog post by a pregnant 39-year-old who did not appreciate being bombarded by reminders about and interventions due to her "advanced maternal age." I hope you all enjoy it!
Can't wait to read it...thanks for sharing! I think we need to start a movement for a better politically correct term for advanced maternal age! If every other group can have a new not so offensive name, why not us? LOL!0 -
I know it's hard to believe, but "advanced maternal age" is actually an IMPROVEMENT from what they used to call us: elderly primigravida! Yes, we are actually still called elderly in the medical literature. I think my elderly heart had a heart attack when I read that the first time. Here I am 38, beating women way younger than me in races, thinner than I have been in most of my adult life, eating better than I ever have -basically in awesome shape- and somehow elderly is the best descriptor for my eggs?
Well, it's nice to know I'm in the company of other geriatric moms-to-be.0 -
I know it's hard to believe, but "advanced maternal age" is actually an IMPROVEMENT from what they used to call us: elderly primigravida! Yes, we are actually still called elderly in the medical literature. I think my elderly heart had a heart attack when I read that the first time. Here I am 38, beating women way younger than me in races, thinner than I have been in most of my adult life, eating better than I ever have -basically in awesome shape- and somehow elderly is the best descriptor for my eggs?
Well, it's nice to know I'm in the company of other geriatric moms-to-be.
Elderly primigravida? LOL! I guess I'll take advanced maternal age over that one. I am in better shape now than when I was 28....no doubt about it! My ovaries may be using oxygen tanks and walkers at this point, but this mama is fighting the good fight at staying healthy and fit! :drinker:0 -
Oh.... And my grandmother had my mother at age 38 waaaayyyyy back in 1951!
Everything turned out fine, but can you imagine the looks and comments she put up with then?0 -
Oh.... And my grandmother had my mother at age 38 waaaayyyyy back in 1951!
Everything turned out fine, but can you imagine the looks and comments she put up with then?
My grandmother had my mom at 42 back in 1952! They didn't use birth control back then (irish catholic) so I think many times older women had babies...it might not have been all the rage to do it on purpose like now days...but I think it still happened occasionally. I guess there is a long line of geriatric mamas in my family, lol!0 -
I just had a random thought about this. Why is it that we are quoted all these statistics and whatnot based on *our* age, when it does, in fact, matter how old the father is? I know their age is most likely less of a factor than ours, but it is a factor. They may produce sperm for their entire lives, but the quality does decrease with age.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect
(I know Wikipedia isn't always that accurate, but I guarantee this is not the first time I've read about this. Wikipedia was just the easiest to find, and the theory is succinctly put at the top, which makes it easier on you all to click and skim.
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Oh.... And my grandmother had my mother at age 38 waaaayyyyy back in 1951!
Everything turned out fine, but can you imagine the looks and comments she put up with then?
My grandmother had my mom at 42 back in 1952! They didn't use birth control back then (irish catholic) so I think many times older women had babies...it might not have been all the rage to do it on purpose like now days...but I think it still happened occasionally. I guess there is a long line of geriatric mamas in my family, lol!
Wow, they would have been considered ancient to be having babies back in the 50s!
My maternal grandmother once told me that she married my grandfather when she was 26, in 1942. My aunt was born in 1946, when my grandmother was 30, and my mom was born in 1948, when she was 32. She told me she was basically considered a spinster and was much older than other moms with kids my mom and aunt's ages. As for me, I was 30 (a few months away from my 31st birthday) when my son was born, and this time I will have just turned 33, assuming this baby doesn't come early, so basically the same age as my grandmother, and that's fairly normal today.0 -
Wow, I feel really old now. I am 7.5 weeks pregnant and turn 41 in 1 month!!! Yikes! This was not planned, in fact we gave up trying after doing fertility treatmenst for 5 years!!! I am super nervous too, not really because of my age, but because my last pregnancy 5 yrs ago ended at 20 weeks with a fetal demise. I have a long way to go before I feel comfortable. I already heard the babys heartbeat at my first visit and go again for us in a couple weeks....I guess one good thing about being elderly is more ultrasounds!!!0
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Random fact of the day: my paternal great grandpa was in the civil war - he was 76 when my grandpa was born (my great grandma was considerably younger). My grandpa was perfectly healthy, served in the Navy during WWII, was a Police Officer for 30 years and had sharp mind/witts until he passed earlier this year from complications after a fall. How's that for advanced paternal age? :laugh:I just had a random thought about this. Why is it that we are quoted all these statistics and whatnot based on *our* age, when it does, in fact, matter how old the father is? I know their age is most likely less of a factor than ours, but it is a factor. They may produce sperm for their entire lives, but the quality does decrease with age.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect
(I know Wikipedia isn't always that accurate, but I guarantee this is not the first time I've read about this. Wikipedia was just the easiest to find, and the theory is succinctly put at the top, which makes it easier on you all to click and skim. )0 -
Random fact of the day: my paternal great grandpa was in the civil war - he was 76 when my grandpa was born (my great grandma was considerably younger). My grandpa was perfectly healthy, served in the Navy during WWII, was a Police Officer for 30 years and had sharp mind/witts until he passed earlier this year from complications after a fall. How's that for advanced paternal age? :laugh:I just had a random thought about this. Why is it that we are quoted all these statistics and whatnot based on *our* age, when it does, in fact, matter how old the father is? I know their age is most likely less of a factor than ours, but it is a factor. They may produce sperm for their entire lives, but the quality does decrease with age.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect
(I know Wikipedia isn't always that accurate, but I guarantee this is not the first time I've read about this. Wikipedia was just the easiest to find, and the theory is succinctly put at the top, which makes it easier on you all to click and skim. )
WOW!0 -
Rebecca, I agree that the medical establishment puts all the focus on the expectant mothers. I wonder if it's because asking about fathers can sometimes get into sensitive territory. I'm actually surprised that no one has ever asked a single question about the father of my baby, and no one places any particular emphasis on paternal medical health and history. I was actually pretty shocked to hear that even my husband's presence at the genetics counseling appointment was not obligatory! Last time I heard, half of this child's genes are his.0
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Rebecca, I agree that the medical establishment puts all the focus on the expectant mothers. I wonder if it's because asking about fathers can sometimes get into sensitive territory. I'm actually surprised that no one has ever asked a single question about the father of my baby, and no one places any particular emphasis on paternal medical health and history. I was actually pretty shocked to hear that even my husband's presence at the genetics counseling appointment was not obligatory! Last time I heard, half of this child's genes are his.
I know what you mean...although, interestingly, my husband did have to get involved somewhat in the process. We had trouble conceiving at first, and a holistic doctor we visited (in hopes of avoiding IVF) said we both had to cut out alcohol and all forms of caffeine. My husband was like, "You better get pregnant this week!" Lol. Well, it's funny, I got pregnant that month. I was also doing acupuncture and other things like that, so I don't know how much his abstaining from those substances helped, but it was a nice result.
Also, when we went to genetic counseling, they took interest in his Jewish heritage. I mean, our last name is obviously Jewish, but I'm not genetically (I'm a convert). I thought that would get me out of having to do the blood-work for the Tay-Sachs. Nope!! Thanks to the hubs' genes, I got to experience more of the needle.
You win some, you lose some.0 -
Oh.... And my grandmother had my mother at age 38 waaaayyyyy back in 1951!
Everything turned out fine, but can you imagine the looks and comments she put up with then?
My grandmother had my mom at 42 back in 1952! They didn't use birth control back then (irish catholic) so I think many times older women had babies...it might not have been all the rage to do it on purpose like now days...but I think it still happened occasionally. I guess there is a long line of geriatric mamas in my family, lol!
That's a good point, I didn't consider it because she wasn't religious, she had lost her son so she had another child.
No that you mention it, I wonder if the maternal age was higher back then due to religion and lack of birth control?0 -
Wow, I feel really old now. I am 7.5 weeks pregnant and turn 41 in 1 month!!! Yikes! This was not planned, in fact we gave up trying after doing fertility treatmenst for 5 years!!! I am super nervous too, not really because of my age, but because my last pregnancy 5 yrs ago ended at 20 weeks with a fetal demise. I have a long way to go before I feel comfortable. I already heard the babys heartbeat at my first visit and go again for us in a couple weeks....I guess one good thing about being elderly is more ultrasounds!!!
W're in very similar circumstances! I'm 41 pushing on 42, fertility treatments for 3 years, nothing, then ... bam! Like you, I have been very nervous. This is our second child (the first is 6), which somehow makes it worse for me because I really want everything to be alright for my older daughter. Now I'm 27 weeks along and more concerned with all those uncomfortable side effects like heartburn, huge belly, fatigue etc. Wish you all the best!0 -
Wow, I feel really old now. I am 7.5 weeks pregnant and turn 41 in 1 month!!! Yikes! This was not planned, in fact we gave up trying after doing fertility treatmenst for 5 years!!! I am super nervous too, not really because of my age, but because my last pregnancy 5 yrs ago ended at 20 weeks with a fetal demise. I have a long way to go before I feel comfortable. I already heard the babys heartbeat at my first visit and go again for us in a couple weeks....I guess one good thing about being elderly is more ultrasounds!!!
W're in very similar circumstances! I'm 41 pushing on 42, fertility treatments for 3 years, nothing, then ... bam! Like you, I have been very nervous. This is our second child (the first is 6), which somehow makes it worse for me because I really want everything to be alright for my older daughter. Now I'm 27 weeks along and more concerned with all those uncomfortable side effects like heartburn, huge belly, fatigue etc. Wish you all the best!
wow that is so funny. My daughter is 7!! I have to say she was not thrilled about the prospect of becoming a big sister!! It was very unexpected for all of us. I had made peace with not having any more children so its hard to start over again!! Is you 6 year old excited???0
