Healthy Goals

LucyT4dieting

Let’s make sure that we support one another to achieve healthy goals. As a mother and a grandmother, I worry about people on this site who are so vulnerable and are asking for advice on how to achieve an unrealistic goal. One snarky remark can send someone with low self-esteem into a tailspin. I know that no one purposely wants to cause hurt to another individual who is struggling with weight issues, but let’s make a conscious effort to support a healthy lifestyle that can be maintained in the long run instead of one that sets one up for failure. Portion control and exercise in moderation are important to long-term success. Extreme measures should not be condoned. I know that people want to boast about their achievements, but posting about unhealthy calorie counts and excessive exercise goals is not helpful to someone who may just be starting out on this journey. Hopefully, we are here to lend a sympathetic ear and share our personal experiences. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that we are all struggling to fight the good fight against our obsessions. In some cases, this can be a matter of life or death. We need to be gentle with those whose compulsive behaviors cause more harm than good. Thanks to everyone for their input.

amydee714

I like this.

People ask me all the time "What kind of diet are you on?" or "What are you eating to lose so much weight?" and this is my response. (IMHO) You should eat the foods to lose weight that you plan on eating the rest of your life. If you don't, once you go back to eating your "regular" foods, you will gain it all back. I am not "on a diet". I am eating.

JanLeb

I so agree!!

This can be a challenge without the unrealistic expectations of ones self or others.
Everyone needs to realize this is about being healthy and taking care of yourself, and not not eating like a bird or exercising until you are ready to drop.

I know I am no 'role model' as I have been struggling with this for a long time and have fallen off the wagon so many times, but I keep getting back on there and know I need to find my way to reach the goals I want to be healthy. If that takes longer than I would like then so be it. I used to expect so much from myself, and when the scales didn't give me the results I thought I deserved I would get very upset and just want to give up (and sometimes did).

I have finally figured out this is about me and I am the one that needs to take control of what/how much I eat and the exercise I do each day. Surrounding myself with positive and careing people is what works for me. I won't have negative people with their snide comments make me feel bad about how I am doing.

WAHMto5

I like this.

People ask me all the time "What kind of diet are you on?" or "What are you eating to lose so much weight?" and this is my response. (IMHO) You should eat the foods to lose weight that you plan on eating the rest of your life. If you don't, once you go back to eating your "regular" foods, you will gain it all back. I am not "on a diet". I am eating.

This is perfect and exactly the way I have lost my weight! Though, I have to say that it took me years to get to this point. When I was younger, I was always on/off "dieting". Some good things do just come with age;)

hairsprayhon

Amen, to the idea that you need to eat what you can eat for life. I am trying to avoid the "on the diet" mindset. If I am on the diet, it is inevitable that I will be off the diet at some point. Instead I am trying to live healthy. When people ask me what I am doing, I reply "eating better, not less and moving more."

Larisonlj

Agree with all of you. I don't tell myself I can't have something. I have what I want in moderation now and I workout. That's all.

What I can't figure out is whether or not to say something to someone you are friends with on MFP about their low calories and/or eating @ the daily 'goal' but its crap. Really? You ate one meal today that was so-so and then had donuts which got you to your calorie 'goal' so you eat nothing else!?!
I don't want to offend anyone and maybe it's not my business what they choose to eat (although they friended me and their diary is open). I'm to the point on a couple of people that I'm thinking about deleting them because I truly believe they are not helping themselves but hurting themselves.

amydee714

Larisonlj,
I know what you mean. I just wait until I see them say something or pose a question.
I try not to "police" other people. I am just trying to be a support.

chogue55

I agree with all the ladies on this string. We need to be supportive and realize that this isn't just a diet, but a mindset to a new way of living.

DMW914

I agree! I don't comment if I don't have anything resouceful to say. :flowerforyou:

icimani

LIKE.

We need to be supportive and realize that this isn't just a diet, but a mindset to a new way of living.

Larisonlj

Larisonlj,
I know what you mean. I just wait until I see them say something or pose a question.
I try not to "police" other people. I am just trying to be a support.

That's pretty much what I've been doing. I will NOT tell someone 'good job' for staying under calorie goals when they only ate 950 calories that day and did a freakish exercise calorie burn.
I guess I feel like I would be encouraging their very bad habit. If they have a healthy day I comment and tell them.

katevarner

I have sent private messages to a few of my MFP friends when I was horrified by something they posted. Some dropped me as a friend. Others ignored my advice completely. One claimed to be very appreciative but continued to post the same ED crap, so I hid him from my feed. Didn't have the heart to drop him because I'm worried about him, but haven't looked at his diary in a while either.

readthat

I agree totally with this post. I am trying to eat healthy, but also realistic. I am not calling this a diet, but a lifestyle change. I don't police anyone on what they eat. Most don't listen anyway and aren't ready to make an overall change. They just want the quick fix. I figure at some point they will realize it just doesn't work that way.

I have many people ask me how I lost weight. When I begin with, trying to eat healthier, counting calories and exercise. They don't really want to hear it. Everyone wants the magic pill! haha

acogg

I have many people ask me how I lost weight. When I begin with, trying to eat healthier, counting calories and exercise. They don't really want to hear it. Everyone wants the magic pill! haha

Exactly. If they have to ask, they don't want the real answer. They need to ask THEMSELVES, "How did I get fat?", and then build from there.

FattieBabs

I am very sad that I was defriended by someone recently because they were complaining about dizziness after exercise and their total calorie intake was around 950. She was also complaining that she was having trouble losing weight and seemed to have a lot of other problems that she was sharing with a lot of her MFP friends. All the replies were "poor you", Awww" "get better soon" etc.When I poliitely suggested she give the diet a break for a little bit to gain some strength back and help get over her constant cold and feeling unwell I got my head bitten off and was defriended. So lesson learnt - I wont make such a comment in the future.!

juliesjuke

It is really too bad that people will not listen to sound advice on here.They probably know that it is for their own good,but are set in their ways and don't want to listen.I read an article on Sparkpeople a while ago that was on exercising. It said that too much exercise is not good for a person.It can cause all kinds of health problems.Dizziness,fatigue are among them. Guess we all have to learn for ourselves.

nancycaregiver

Forgive me for I have sinned! I just made a snarky comment to a guy who kept being negative about helpful comments to a person with a legitimate concern. He finally said that he doesn't agree with a lot of the methods and views on MFP. So I asked him, "Why are you here? To trash MFP." He could have been a troubled young man. Thank you for pointing that out. Think I will go back and delete that comment.

Meggles63

It's so hard sometimes to decide what to say, or IF to say anything. People on the internet seem to feel absolute freedom to say anything and everything. I know I'm not even close to perfect on my eating habits....sometimes I do really well, and other times, I fall off. I've been VERY sensitive about my food diary and comments that are made, even if in jest. I am very circumspect about commenting on anyone's diary, in fact because I know how they might feel. However, I would never be rude in response, as so many out there on. I just keep trucking, and hope that I'm able to help inspire, support and help my friends.