The DM hypothesis made it to another advise column
Replies
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If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.
If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.
EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
"Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
* shrugs *
I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
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you had me searching the author to see if it was DM!! :laugh:
Agree with SB, you never know who you will meet. I met the man I consider the 'love of my life' off a site! When we were both 42!
Interesting 5s going for 9s concept tho. Would account for why most men never get responses and women under 25 get inundated. Kinda stupid too!0 -
Well ladies, online dating pretty much sucks unless you're young and hot!
I'm neither young nor hot, and if I ever become single again, I had enough success with online dating that I’d certainly do it.
Besides, I thought DMs point was more that online dating stinks no matter who you are, lol
Edit to add: I can't actually read the article from work, but one thing I do know is that dating is proportionally easier the younger and hotter you are. Unfortunately, I suspect that when a woman gets too used to a horde of guys trying to wine and dine her, she begins to be more picky, difficult, and selfish. Hmmmm sounds like the same thing I think about hot men who have girls falling at their feet. Which is why I think it’s foolish to pursue someone based on hotness alone.0 -
Interesting 5s going for 9s concept tho. Would account for why most men never get responses and women under 25 get inundated. Kinda stupid too!
5s going for 9s, so bizarre to me. I understand that maybe a lot of men just send out lots and lots of lines to pretty young women hoping to get a bite. Like playing the lottery, but it's free. What I do not understand are the guys who put great time and effort into messaging women that are not realistic looking at all or who have completely mismatched interests. .
My experiences were with mismatched interests, but I remember getting SO many emails from guys who had obviously read my profile, wrote long initial messages to me, but who clearly did not actually want to date a geeky single mom who liked books and remembered Morrissey's birthday every year (unfortunately because I'm not 15). It was so weird to see total muscley jock guys messaging some dorky lady with glasses- why waste everybody's time?0 -
If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.
If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.
EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
"Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
* shrugs *
I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
What about, "I like it but I prefer Star Trek."0 -
DM are you writing another blog??
Haha just kidding.
I am inclined to believe the writer though. In real life, someone usually approaches someone of equal "hotness" but I think online, men tend to approach the hotter girls because if they don't write back, what's the big deal? And the average girls get ignored (and might do better in real life settings, where they have more of a chance to show off their personality). I remember when Yoovie a long time ago showed us her OkCupid profile and she had a lot of messages, and some people were upset and thought she shouldn't complain (probably because they weren't getting as many messages). It is probably because Yoovie is young and attractive - she has an advantage in online dating because of that. Many people just have to show off their personality to others first, and that is why online dating might not work for them.0 -
I see nothing wrong with guys chasing good looking women. Men are very physically driven, so of course they are going to be drawn to the women who are 8's and 9's (doesn't mean they have a chance). Men are just naturally drawn to good looking women, that's no secret.
I have a good friend who's probably a 4. He's a great guy, but is overweight and just looks like a typical engineer. He has more confidence than my friends who would be considered a 8 or a 9 and he's able to pull women who are way out of his league. He's always been able to do this since we were younger. He just has "it".
Knowing this, why shouldn't guys chase good looking women who are out of their league? At least one is bound to say yes sooner or later..0 -
That's good too! I dig TNG.
If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.
If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.
EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
"Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
* shrugs *
I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
What about, "I like it but I prefer Star Trek."0 -
My experiences were with mismatched interests, but I remember getting SO many emails from guys who had obviously read my profile, wrote long initial messages to me, but who clearly did not actually want to date a geeky single mom who liked books and remembered Morrissey's birthday every year (unfortunately because I'm not 15).
And besides, some girls are bigger than others.
--P0 -
Given the body language of the girl, I guess the dude in the picture was doomed beforehand anyway.
That's good too! I dig TNG.What about, "I like it but I prefer Star Trek."
Guess he isn't in the target market of this lady either.0 -
again, i didn't read the whole thread ( call it message forum ADD)
i did read the article though. i completely agree with her. especially since i now understand that just because it favors young and pretty, that doesn't mean a d@mn thing!
just because you are messaged, and perhaps even get a date or two, but that doesn't mean YOU are relationship material. it doesn't mean that you are going to meet someone that is actually interested in dating you, or holding off on having sex because you are worth it.
the guys over at BB also post pics that the girls have on their profiles, and the pics that girls send them afterwards. profile pics are usually low cut. the pics sent afterwards are often in their underwear. these are the younger, prettier girls the author is writing about. *I* have more self esteem than that. *I* have more morals than that, LOL!!!
and no, i don't have a body even remotely close to a 22 yr old. heck, i'm in the 30s and have 5 kids. on NO level can i compete with a 22 yr old that has plenty of time to work out, probably hasn't had kids, and might even have an eating disorder...... and i am totally ok with that :-)
since i feel like i really get it now, this doesn't phase me in the least. i kept my match.com account up for now. it's paid for, for a month. but, i changed my profile to make sure that the first thing you read is that i actually am there looking for a relationship. that if you are patient and understanding with me, i will be with you. but, i don't want there to be any confusion. i am NOT on there to have sex, or send dirty pics, or to get asked for them. that is NOT why i am on an online dating site.
but, as you all pointed out, the guy has to send a copy and paste to 100 women and if even ONE responds in his favor, it worked!!!! for example my " i want to cum in you" message..........
so, yeah. they have the market cornered in online dating. at the end of the day, if they are looking for a relationship, or someone that is going to date them without the expectation of sex on the first or second date, it all means diddly squat!!!!
i like having MFP, because i can be flirty and post "fun" pics and be messaged, but know that it's all in fun and gest. i don't like receiving similar type messages on an online dating site because i want to believe that the man messaging is looking for a relationship too. and they simply aren't :-) i KNOW the guys on MFP are not messaging me looking to date and start a relationship with me, so it's win win!!!!0 -
my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.
"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."
i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.0 -
If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this
I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.
If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.
EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
"Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"
Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
* shrugs *
I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.
LOL but I like star wars... We would probably spend the whole time talking about geek stuff0 -
my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.
"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."
i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.
I agree with this... I have to say I think part of the reason men like younger Women is that they are for the most part more malleable. Not all of them mind you but I know I was much more easily "suggested" into things the younger I was ... In your 20's alot of your confidence and who you will ultimately be is still forming (for both men and women) THe older you are the more you know who you are and what your comfortable with. I figure by the time I get into my 40's I'm gonna be dangerous0 -
my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.
"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."
i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.
I must be mature for my age because I don't think like this...but I do know people who have.0 -
well, not all young women will. but i think the vast majority will at some point.
especially if she thinks the guy is worth the compromise......
when i was 19 i had many guys end up completely nude in front of me, me totally clothed still. and had i had interest in them ( to have sex with them i mean) then i would have. but i didn't. so, nothing came of it. but, had i been in the mindset that " oh i really want him to like me" or " wow! he must REALLY like me" it probably would've ended up in sex.
I must be mature for my age because I don't think like this...but I do know people who have.0
