The DM hypothesis made it to another advise column

4themoney

again, i didn't read the whole thread ( call it message forum ADD)

i did read the article though. i completely agree with her. especially since i now understand that just because it favors young and pretty, that doesn't mean a d@mn thing!

just because you are messaged, and perhaps even get a date or two, but that doesn't mean YOU are relationship material. it doesn't mean that you are going to meet someone that is actually interested in dating you, or holding off on having sex because you are worth it.

the guys over at BB also post pics that the girls have on their profiles, and the pics that girls send them afterwards. profile pics are usually low cut. the pics sent afterwards are often in their underwear. these are the younger, prettier girls the author is writing about. *I* have more self esteem than that. *I* have more morals than that, LOL!!!

and no, i don't have a body even remotely close to a 22 yr old. heck, i'm in the 30s and have 5 kids. on NO level can i compete with a 22 yr old that has plenty of time to work out, probably hasn't had kids, and might even have an eating disorder...... and i am totally ok with that :-)

since i feel like i really get it now, this doesn't phase me in the least. i kept my match.com account up for now. it's paid for, for a month. but, i changed my profile to make sure that the first thing you read is that i actually am there looking for a relationship. that if you are patient and understanding with me, i will be with you. but, i don't want there to be any confusion. i am NOT on there to have sex, or send dirty pics, or to get asked for them. that is NOT why i am on an online dating site.

but, as you all pointed out, the guy has to send a copy and paste to 100 women and if even ONE responds in his favor, it worked!!!! for example my " i want to cum in you" message..........

so, yeah. they have the market cornered in online dating. at the end of the day, if they are looking for a relationship, or someone that is going to date them without the expectation of sex on the first or second date, it all means diddly squat!!!!

i like having MFP, because i can be flirty and post "fun" pics and be messaged, but know that it's all in fun and gest. i don't like receiving similar type messages on an online dating site because i want to believe that the man messaging is looking for a relationship too. and they simply aren't :-) i KNOW the guys on MFP are not messaging me looking to date and start a relationship with me, so it's win win!!!!

4themoney

my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.

"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."

i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.

jenbit

If you make a good first impression, then speed dating is the way to go. If you aren't, then it can be awkward as all hell.
If you are on the receiving end of someone who's initially very awkward.. be prepared for some epic lulz.

I figure if they aren't awkward enough I can throw enough random **** into the conversation to make it happen, hahahaha!
EDIT: It would be ironic if that's how I meet my future partner.
"Well kids, we did this speed dating thing ironically and then BAM"

I've tried speed dating (category: 20 to 30 y.o.) and it definitely favours women.
Frankly, it was really boring and the one woman who came to talk to me after the event ran away as I made a joke about fisting...
* shrugs *
I think it's very similar to online dating (even worse actually) in that you meet a completely random group of people with random interests, so if you don't present yourself as the average man or woman you risk coming back empty ended. Not where I would meet girls who belong to my target market.

If I ever did speed dating, I'd picture it going like this

LOL but I like star wars... We would probably spend the whole time talking about geek stuff

jenbit

my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.

"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."

i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.

I agree with this... I have to say I think part of the reason men like younger Women is that they are for the most part more malleable. Not all of them mind you but I know I was much more easily "suggested" into things the younger I was ... In your 20's alot of your confidence and who you will ultimately be is still forming (for both men and women) THe older you are the more you know who you are and what your comfortable with. I figure by the time I get into my 40's I'm gonna be dangerous

christine24t

my other thought is that a lot of women do what men ask because they believe it puts her in his favor. like if he asks for ( or in some cases doesn't even have to ask for) nudes, she will gain favor with him over others. it doesn't work like this. she might get asked out first, but more than likely he's only interested in the sexual aspect. it all boils down to is she "worth" the wait to him. and not all are........ so, she's put herself out there ( in pic form) then comes the date and she gives in and has sex ( she might want to too) this could be because she knows that's all there will be, but it also could be because again she thinks she will find favor with him.

"oh, he wants sex, i will give it to him and he will like me more." i mean, i'm fairly certain that thought crossed my mind once or twice in my early 20s..... but, that's not the way it works. these younger women might think by letting it all go to talk of sex or nudies from the get go put her ahead, and i am really starting to believe all it does is set them up as " anxious and willing," when really they are probably thinking that " i'm doing what he wants and he'll like me for it."

i actively have to STEER conversations away from sex or any topic like that. and you can't even SEE my shoulders, much less my boobs in my profile pics...... and the guys usually give up very quickly when they realize i'm not gonna play along.

I must be mature for my age because I don't think like this...but I do know people who have.

4themoney

well, not all young women will. but i think the vast majority will at some point.
especially if she thinks the guy is worth the compromise......

when i was 19 i had many guys end up completely nude in front of me, me totally clothed still. and had i had interest in them ( to have sex with them i mean) then i would have. but i didn't. so, nothing came of it. but, had i been in the mindset that " oh i really want him to like me" or " wow! he must REALLY like me" it probably would've ended up in sex.

I must be mature for my age because I don't think like this...but I do know people who have.