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when you're not over someone

pa_jorg
pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
edited January 5 in Social Groups
I came across this article and thought it had good points and might be really helpful to some Single Peeps.
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/147395/7_reasons_youre_still_not

Replies

  • grum84
    grum84 Posts: 428 Member
    I think I pretty much knew all of those already, but definitely still suffering from 3-4 of them regarding my last relationship. This of course is why I am single and not currently looking. No point in trying to start something with someone new until I get over the last one; not fair to either party.
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
    What is that old saying .. the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else! woot woot!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    What is that old saying .. the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else! woot woot!

    That was definitely my final step to getting over the ex... and the one that was most fun! :bigsmile:
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    I do agree with these! People can't let go.

    After my first relationship, DEFINITELY spot on. But I was 18 and he cheated on me with the billing girl at our work (told me this at my Grandpa's funeral, where he subsequently broke up with me). I continued working there for 2+ years and was constantly seeing both of them... So that didn't help the healing process. Eventually when I let go of that fantasy they were talking about and realized that it WASN'T my fault, I was able to let it go and now maintain a friendship with him.
    However, when my second relationship ended, it was the easiest thing ever... Got over it real quick. Now that's how it always happens. I just get over it.
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
    It took some time with my first one, the second two-I was over them before they got out the door!! LOL
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    When I finished my 12 year relationship I was on a date 36 hours later!!! And shagging for England about 72 hours later!!

    I never gave my ex a second thought!! And to this day, he wants me back!!

    I dont really know if it was the 'getting under someone else' or the fact that I'd given it my all and I just 'had enough' *shrug*

    But definitely worth trying the former :bigsmile:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Yep. We can be trapped by all of these- especially the questioning (What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong? rather than looking at what's wrong with HIM) or the "I'm unhappy, if only I had him back I'd be better."

    I get stuck in remembering how good they were to me and NOT remembering what a jerk they were. With the last guy I fell for, it took CONSTANT re-reading what he wrote about me here in single peeps to finally break the fantasy spell and realize that he never, ever, intended on making a life with me and didn't even really respect me. We weren't even dating. My mind would go back to the fun we had, the nice gifts he bought me, the inviting me and my son to more and more events and I would forget about how he kicked me to the curb and wrote how I was just gap filler.

    I immediately got on Match.com, but it was quite a few dates before I actually felt ready to give someone the effort of a relationship.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    With the last guy I fell for, it took CONSTANT re-reading what he wrote about me here in single peeps to finally break the fantasy spell and realize that he never, ever, intended on making a life with me and didn't even really respect me.

    Who was this douchecanoe? Was this before my time?
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Actually, Kit, he wasn't a jerk most of the time. In fact, that was the first time in almost 2 years that I'd seen his jerky side. I think more people here in SP liked him than me because his advice was often spot on. He met this amazing super hot girl and pulled out all the stops for her. It stung reading everyone congratulating him on getting such a catch, but hey that's life. The man I have now absolutely adores me in a way that guy never would have.

    What's funny is, many of the bennies of being friends (though I thought we were building up to "more") with that guy I have with BB... just in a non-pretentious, accepts me for me, package.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Actually, Kit, he wasn't a jerk most of the time. In fact, that was the first time in almost 2 years that I'd seen his jerky side. I think more people here in SP liked him than me because his advice was often spot on. He met this amazing super hot girl and pulled out all the stops for her. It stung reading everyone congratulating him on getting such a catch, but hey that's life. The man I have now absolutely adores me in a way that guy never would have.

    What's funny is, many of the bennies of being friends (though I thought we were building up to "more") with that guy I have with BB... just in a non-pretentious, accepts me for me, package.

    Well Janie, if BB were on here posting pics with you saying he had a new girl I'm sure everyone here would say "Damn you lucky man, that's a gorgeous lady!"

    Sorry he was a jerk to you, and I do believe that no one was intending you any insult when congratulating him. As far as liking him better - eh. You have awesome advice and I always look forward to your posts. Besides, I know what it's like to be disliked for going against the grain ;)
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