Why do we believe the BAD but not the GOOD???
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But I only need to look around me, and draw from my experience to see that real life relationships are not built on looks at all. (Some are. But I question their durability). Initial attraction is subjective. There are just as many ugly, fat, short, disabled, afflicted people in relationships as there are average people in relationships as there are lookers! And MOST people are in the average category. If all men were holding out for a 9 every day, where 9's are about 0.000001% of the population, there would be a billion+ more single people........ the whole looks thing is so irrational that I also question some peoples mental stability on here........:laugh:
OMG, THIS IS SO TRUE! Thank you for saying it Anna!
And I'd like to add to this that many single people seem to use this as an EXCUSE on both ends... some say well I'm not a 9 so I won't get anyone... and some say I'll never find a 9 so it isn't worth my time to keep looking. Both of those are total BS excuses. STOP looking for a '9' and start looking for a REAL person, both inside and outside, then maybe you'll be looking for and attracting more appropriate matches.
On another note, and maybe this needs to be a new thread, but I'm actually both saddened and shocked by what so many of the women here have said about their mother belittling them. I understand psychologically that women often feel threatened and compete with one another - even their own children - but I'm still a little astounded. My own mother is my biggest fan and supporter, she never attacks or demeans me. I've always appreciated that, but seeing this thread today, I might need to call her and give her an extra thank you. I truly feel heartbroken :brokenheart: for those of you whose insecurities and issues stem from your parents because it is so harsh...and it also makes me wonder if any of the men here feel that perhaps their father caused their insecurities?0 -
On another note, and maybe this needs to be a new thread, but I'm actually both saddened and shocked by what so many of the women here have said about their mother belittling them. I understand psychologically that women often feel threatened and compete with one another - even their own children - but I'm still a little astounded. My own mother is my biggest fan and supporter, she never attacks or demeans me. I've always appreciated that, but seeing this thread today, I might need to call her and give her an extra thank you. I truly feel heartbroken :brokenheart: for those of you whose insecurities and issues stem from your parents because it is so harsh...and it also makes me wonder if any of the men here feel that perhaps their father caused their insecurities?
I was thinking the exact same thing PJ and have heard that said by ladies outside this group so it appears to be somewhat common and also to me sad and shocking.0 -
On another note, and maybe this needs to be a new thread, but I'm actually both saddened and shocked by what so many of the women here have said about their mother belittling them. I understand psychologically that women often feel threatened and compete with one another - even their own children - but I'm still a little astounded. My own mother is my biggest fan and supporter, she never attacks or demeans me. I've always appreciated that, but seeing this thread today, I might need to call her and give her an extra thank you. I truly feel heartbroken :brokenheart: for those of you whose insecurities and issues stem from your parents because it is so harsh...and it also makes me wonder if any of the men here feel that perhaps their father caused their insecurities?
Good point. And same here PJ, I could never be anything but perfect in my Mum's eyes. (God, I miss her!! :brokenheart: )
But anyway, I think we may have stumbled across something here! The influence of your parents can have a lasting effect on your self esteem and personality. So can the words of a significant other. Especially in your younger days. I'm sorry to all those that have taken this kind of confidence bashing. But perhaps it's time to self assess and overcome :flowerforyou:0
