Jerk at Gym

darwinforyou

Until today, I have never run into anyone at the gym who hasn't been nice or at least left me to my free weights. Today was different. They're redoing the free weights section of my gym, so all of us lifters had to go up to the machines and use whatever free weights were available up there. Needless to say, not much. Well, I ended up having to do a machine bench press today - and while using it some guy decided to talk to me. Of course he was mr. fitness - and said he was a personal trainer at the YMCA I was at. He asked what I was doing, and when I told him, he proceeded to inform me that I should never do that and that women should never lift heavy. He started telling me lighter weights, more reps and I need to do more cardio if I ever want to be fit. Between the lines he was telling me that I wasn't fit and that I needed to go "light". I don't know what this gave this guy the audacity to tell me what I was doing was wrong or that I would never get anywhere with what I was doing, but he seriously made me feel like crap, especially considering I was there to work out for me. I ended up leaving anyway, and totally felt like crying. I know I'm not thin and I'm working on that - but to have someone so be so blatantly rude and in front of a whole group of people seriously - I've never had that in the entirety of my life. He even asked if I went to orietation about weights - and when I said yes, and specifically for strong lifts....he said well you should do it again.

I'm just totally stunned.

ishtar13

1. I would have said, "I've researched my program thoroughly, thank you" and put my headphones in to stop the conversation. And if he kept going, I'd pretty much say, "eff off".

2. I'd report him to the manager, because that is NOT good business.

ishtar13

And I'm sorry that he made you feel like that.

We can't control what other people do, but we can control our responses.

Use it to get MAD and fuel your workout instead of tearing you down.

darwinforyou

Thanks....He totally bashed women lifting heavy and doing stronglifts....he's like 5 reps??? That won't do anything, you need more reps and lighter weights!!! The whole conversation with him was pointless, he was set in his frame of mind and wasn't going to change his opinion.

I did call the manager, too, the moment I got home.

ishtar13

Good for calling the manager.

Next time, cut the conversation off. "I'm comfortable with my routine"

Use headphones/ipod/whatever so people don't talk to you and you can concentrate.


I always get a laugh when guys, usually older ones, try to hand me the pad for the barbell during my squats. "are you sure?" they say. Three in one day once. I just shake my head and don't even pull the bud out of my ear.

tameko2

Oh my god that makes me so mad for you. I wish I could go with you to your gym one day, I'd have told him off. Holy crap!

I really cannot BELIEVE that people think its ok to just walk up and start telling people they're doing something wrong. I think its ok to be like "hey could I give you some advice about what you are doing?" and then if the person says yes you could say something - but don't just out of the blue start giving someone else tips or implying they're doing something wrong. And if they say yes and then later says "thanks but no thanks" walk the hell away. Its none of your business. We're adults and we get to make our own choices about how we do what we do.

darwinforyou

I'm of the mentality - don't knock it till you've tried it. He had never even heard of strong lifts.

While he was telling me that it won't do anything either....I was in the middle of doing my bench press. When I started SL I had a hard time with 25, today I was doing 62, which I also kept doing while he was talking. Which I think pissed him off and made him talk more - I need earbuds, but what I really need is a small compact music player, cause my iPhone is too big and bulky.

jayliospecky

That is awful, and the post title says it all, WHAT a jerk! I'm so sorry that he got to you, but he obviously did not know when to back off. I feel so bad for you.

My husband is always asking me questions about my routine, too, (although in a nice way.) He hasn't really been in the "weight-lifting" world for awhile, and he keeps commenting on how much has changed.

Anyways I hope you won't let him ruin your whole day. Some people are just SO dense.

hesn92

I probably wouldn't have been able to take him seriously. I know it's easier said than done, but you know that what he's saying is total bull and he's misinformed and sexist, so his opinion should really mean nothing to you. I would have just said "ok" and then put my ear buds back in and ignored him.

Jaxster92708

I agree with all of the above.

Personally, I think he is not comfortable in his own skin and feels threatened seeing a woman lift more than he probably can.

Good job calling the manager and letting them know: He made you feel bad and he should not be allowed to go on doing that and deserves a talking to (hopefully the management will follow through with this).

Just keep doing what you're doing-all that matters is that you know you are doing what works for you and to you-know-where with any of the haters out there!

Jackie

kit_katty

Yeah I can't believe he did that! Idiot.

On the smaller music player, I like my iPod Shuffle, it clips to my top!

nexangelus

Damn! I am sorry he made you feel upset...it does not matter what a person looks like, what weight they are, there is no need to be rude and inconsiderate and above all come across as ignorant as he did!

I have the opposite, most guys either want to help me lift the weights or bash me on the back like one of the lads. Lifting heavy is awesome and you and I both know that, do not let that punk affect how you feel about yourself and what you are doing. Keep going, you are strong!!!

darwinforyou

Thanks everyone...I really need to invest in earbuds and a shuffle at the gym, I just haven't needed to until this point. I also updated my profile picture cause you can really see the difference since I started doing stronglifts. It's about a months difference - and that's with the addition of doing push-ups and planks every day as well. I just started taking measurements, but in the last couple weeks I know I've taken off at least 2 inches from my waist. I'm proud of myself and what I'm doing and how far I've come along - men like him will make absolutely no difference in my long term goals.

afv417

Thanks....He totally bashed women lifting heavy and doing stronglifts....he's like 5 reps??? That won't do anything, you need more reps and lighter weights!!! The whole conversation with him was pointless, he was set in his frame of mind and wasn't going to change his opinion.

I did call the manager, too, the moment I got home.

So glad you spoke with the manager. He needs to mind his own business. You are determined and you are doing this for YOU. I agree with the above post with putting your headphones on and telling him to mind his business.

I'm so sorry about the way it made you feel. :-(

fisherlassie

There will always be morons!

You look awesome!! and I am looking forward to the day when I am as strong as you are today!! Go girl you are amazing! You are right people like that will have no effect on your long term goals!! What fantastic attitude!

120weeks

I really like your attitude and I am glad that you filed a complaint. You are looking wonderful. Keep it up! That guy sounds manipulative. UGH

darwinforyou

Yeah I can't believe he did that! Idiot.

On the smaller music player, I like my iPod Shuffle, it clips to my top!

I'll have to look into that! I just hate spending money on stuff - I'm such a cheapskate!!

kit_katty

Yeah I can't believe he did that! Idiot.

On the smaller music player, I like my iPod Shuffle, it clips to my top!

I'll have to look into that! I just hate spending money on stuff - I'm such a cheapskate!!

Me too but teh shuffle is the cheapest and Apple does have good customer service. There are other generic MP3 players that clip, but my last one died after about 6 months, so I decided to upgrade and see if it lasts longer.