The "Change"

alvalaurie

Ok ladies, I know we're all at least 40 so surely there's at least ONE person who is battling the dreaded "change". I know it's not supposed to be a battle, but this thing is kicking my booty! I've never had anything other than a normal 3 day cycle, always pretty uneventful; every 28-30 days (never any cramps, never any bloating). Let me go on to say, I am NOT a weenie!. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and have overcome some rather tough obstacles in my life so I don't consider myself weak either. I also have always been a very positive person & VERY stubborn; which has helped me when I determine to do something, I don't quit till it's accomplished.

Since this dreaded "change" has started to rear it's ugly head, I cannot seem to handle the emotional rollercoaster it's put me on & my own lack of motivation is about to drive me nuts! I absolutely do NOT want to get on hormone replacements (& the Dr said I'm not really at the stage of needing them yet). To make matters worse, the week prior to TOM, I will eat everything I can get my hands on, including chocolate, candy, whatever! It's as if my self control has flown the coop; which is what I suspect is bothering me the most!

I need to hear from others that are experiencing this. I need to know I'm not alone. I need to know WHAT y'all are doing to help combat these symtoms. I can't talk to my boyfriend about it (he's very sweet & just says, "I'll just stay outta your way honey") & most of my girlfriends are younger than me so nowhere near this stage of life yet (I'll be 45 next week so it's a little early for me too). I'd just like to hear from my sisters.

Thanks ladies!

Laurie

acogg

I don't want to leave your post just hanging there, like no one cares. I do care. If I went through loss of self control at the same stage, I didn't notice because at that time I wasn't trying to have any. Personally, I haven't had any problems. Hopefully, someone else will chime in with some words of wisdom. In the meantime, you are not alone and people do care. Hang in there.

AnnofB

Hello,

You are not alone. Perimenopause and menopause hit me like a ton of bricks. Hungry all the time. Mood swings and hot flashes started in my mid 40's. Now, I'm not a doctor but I can tell you what has helped me and some friends going thru the same things.

Explore online about the use of anti-depressants for combating the sweats, the cravings, flashes and mood swings. One friend took Cymbalta and one swore by Effexor. Both said it helped them a lot.

Lose 11 pounds. I read about a study done on menopausel woman and for every 11 pounds they lost, their menopausal symptoms dropped by 25% or more. I think it worked for me too-but have to say that I started periomenopause in my mid 40s'. I'm now in my mid 50's so it could be that I am naturally getting to the end of it finally-or it could be the weight loss doing it's magic. One thing that really struck me when reading about that study (saw it in Prevention Mag) is that for the most part, women who reach menopause at a healthy weight do not have symptoms quite as bad as wome who are over weight or obese entering into menopause. So losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight are paramount to getting through this.

Lot's of good info on Dr. Oz's website about menopause and how it affects us.

Good luck and hope you find something safe and effective that works for you.

Keep us posted.

Ann

imwithgizmo

I'm going through it. I just turned 47. At my annual checkup last year, my doc said that according to my blood test results, I'm in full-on menopause. They check the FSH and something else to tell. Anyway, my only symptoms were the crazy mood swings.

Fast forward a year and, and 67 pounds lost, and one day in September I had a hot flash. Then another, and several a day and at night every darn day. Ugh! Then I didn't get my period Sept. or Oct., but I did this month (I've never missed unless prego). The PMS before this period was extreme. Like you, I wanted to eat everything, and not good food, either.

My hot flashes stopped suddenly, and I feel much better (though this is probably temporary). Like you, I do not want HRT, unless I'm suffering to the point where HRT is my best option.

I'm still losing weight, but have to work much harder for every pound. I'm at 76 lost since Jan., and have 25-30 or so to go. I'm so glad I decided to change my diet, as I believe it helped with the mood swings. I cut out all processed foods, and a few months ago I cut out all wheat and dairy. I know not everyone would want to do that, but the way I was feeling prompted me to try. Also, I work out 5 days a week. Some days are just cardio, and other days I do a lot of strength work, too.

I don't know if my story will help you, but please know you are not alone. This is hard, not only physically, but mentally as well. We are getting older, and menopause is an in-your-face reminder of that. I don't have any friends my age to talk to about it, as my friends are all 7-12 years younger than me. Weird, I just realized that when I was thinking of who I could talk to. I hope you have someone, and you can always send me a message if you ever want to vent!

Take care!

workshy000

You are not alone - we are legion!

There's a group on here that is well worth the price of entry:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/523-near-or-post-menopausal-group

I am 48 and have been going through it for a few years now! My hair is white, my waist expanded, I was miserable and no one would believe me when I said I thought I was entering menopause - "haha, oh you are too young for that!" etc. Including my ex doctor.
Bio identical progesterone cream has been a life-saver - and the occasional xanax usually once a month when I'm at my wits end.

nicleed

I am 44 and was first aware of having high FSH about 6 years ago when I was trying to conceive child # 2. I was told I had about a 5 percent chance of having another baby - she just turned 4!

Anyway, I battled night sweats, palpitations, mood swings, cravings and more for about two years - with an infant and then a toddler in tow - oh, yay! Herbal remedies did f-all so I have been on HRT (estrogen cream and progesterone tablets) for about six months now and the symptoms have disappeared. I need a new script in the next few weeks and will talk to my Dr about coming off them and see what happened. But she was certainly not concerned about the well-documented side effects in my case. She was more worried about what early menopause might do to my bone density etc in the long term without HRT.

I also have a mirena, so I have no idea what's happen with cycles. Every now and then, I get some blood and need a liner for a day or so, but that's it. I did ask the Dr about whether I should get rid of the mirena and her response was that then I would get all the symptoms PLUS heavy and painful periods. No thanks Also, even though my eggs are well past their used-by date, a good one might slip through (as my daughter is evidence of) and I REALLY don't want to be dealing with an infant in my late '40s. I'm tired enough as it is!

And I have had no issues losing weight with the mirena/HRT on board.

pkw58

Oh, so glad I am on the other side. I have been post for almost two years now, and how I wish I had lost the weight before the change knowing what I know now.

The good news is there is so much more information available and choices. I lost 45 pounds this past year, I had a great bone density test, and am on no prescriptions other than my eye glasses and contacts.

I have posted it before, but the game changing book I read was "The Menopause Makeover".. it is available in paperback and kindle through amazon. If you google it the author has a website. It is a great read and I changed my whole attitude about nutrition and exercise! She went off the pill in her early 40's and menopause hit her like a ton of bricks, and she was in the process of planning her wedding! Double stress!!

(by the way,I am 54 years old)

readthat

I am not going through this yet, but dreading it! I heard awhile back that when you go on the hormones to control it (I really don't want to do that) it just prolongs it. Lessens the symptoms but they continue longer. Does anyone know if that is true?

alvalaurie

Thank you ladies for your support & tips! I am certain I can get through this (as many before me have), it's just a little easier when you know you're not alone.

I really appreciate all the advice/tips & I will definately look into everything y'all suggested. The night sweats, mood swings, missed cycles, constant hunger & eating....UGH! I noticed several of you mentioned losing weight prior to this & I don't doubt that would make it easier. Ultimately, I don't think I'm too extremely over weight (170 at 5'8") but am finding it nearly impossible to shed a single pound this past year. So in the midst of all this mess, I'm battling the weight loss too.

I'm not giving up though! I WILL lose the weight & I WILL regain my sanity & I WILL come out of this alive!

AliceNov2011

I don't want to leave your post just hanging there, like no one cares. I do care. If I went through loss of self control at the same stage, I didn't notice because at that time I wasn't trying to have any. Personally, I haven't had any problems. Hopefully, someone else will chime in with some words of wisdom. In the meantime, you are not alone and people do care. Hang in there.

^^^ Me, too. It was pretty uneventful for me. I might have had 2 or 3 hot flashes, but I lived in south Texas so who could tell?

Dudagarcia

I used remifemine over the counter stuff you can find at a health food store.
Walked briskly for 30 minutes every day.
I had a small fan on my nightstand which ran all nite facing me. Every single nite!
I also had a fan at my desk at work.

I never took anything else. I'm 58 now but a few years ago I had a bone density test and the results were I have the bones of a 30 year old

Kitsada

I"m so dreading it as well. I'm 44. My kids are 7 and 9, I got pregnant easily. I'd of had another if my husband wasn't such a *d**k*...lol. (Separated now, blissful...) I've still not totally decided I'm done having kids even, though I suppose I am, time marches on, and all that. (Would need new daddy, at minimum...lol.) The thought of my reproductive years being done, when I barely even used them... it makes me sad. I spent so many years 'waiting'... we didn't even try till I was 35, thank goodness we didn't have any trouble getting pregnant at least. I always say, 'if I'd known I was going to like them so much I'd of started earlier.' I'm an only child, no kids in my family. I didn't realize how great kids are.

Of course, they're also driving me crazy. And my incompetent coworkers. I've been quite *****y for a bunch of years now. I was on Cymbalta for awhile... did help with me not wanting to kill my husband at least... but definitely did not help my figure, I gained more weight.

They say 'peri' menopause starts a lot earlier than you think it does. At least, my mother keeps saying it, and she is a big doctor Oz fan. I can see changes... both in my body, and for sure in my mood/emotional state. I've had a few night sweats, which sent me into a near panic thinking 'oh no its coming'... What I notice more though, is that I've really not got good control of my emotions now, and I always did before. I'm not a woman to cry much, when I do, I'm generally annoyed with myself over it. Just the way I am. Now, a made for TV movie can set me bawling. Last week, I was speaking to an older lady, who told me she was married ~40 years, I always see her together with her husband, I commented how nice it was they went everywhere together. She was like 'oh yes, we are always together. when he goes, I"m going too. I can't live without him.' Okay I could barely get her out of my room before I started crying, overcome with emotion. This is not like me...

My cycles are normal, I'm still on the pill.

In the end though, its unavoidable. Menopause is gonna happen, and we have to deal with it. Someone mentioned xanax... I've got some lorazepam for when I'm really losing it. Ask your doc for something like that, or consider antidepressants for a time if you're really having trouble. Even if you're not depressed (I don't think I was), they help a lot with mood.

Hormone replacement therapy... I don't know a ton about it, but I don't think its great for you, health wise. I think I've heard it increases your risk of breast cancer... and if you have any other kind of cancer you don't know about, estrogen feeds these tumors, cancer cells like estrogen, I think.

and, you can always come vent here, at least.

Good luck to all of us in this 'peri' stage of things.

alvalaurie

You are not alone - we are legion!

There's a group on here that is well worth the price of entry:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/523-near-or-post-menopausal-group

I am 48 and have been going through it for a few years now! My hair is white, my waist expanded, I was miserable and no one would believe me when I said I thought I was entering menopause - "haha, oh you are too young for that!" etc. Including my ex doctor.
Bio identical progesterone cream has been a life-saver - and the occasional xanax usually once a month when I'm at my wits end.

"we are legion!" - LOVE this! I also joined the group. Thanks for sharing!

alvalaurie

I used remifemine over the counter stuff you can find at a health food store.
Walked briskly for 30 minutes every day.
I had a small fan on my nightstand which ran all nite facing me. Every single nite!
I also had a fan at my desk at work.

I never took anything else. I'm 58 now but a few years ago I had a bone density test and the results were I have the bones of a 30 year old

Thanks, I will look into this! I would rather use something natural if I must resort to that. The Dr did have me start taking extra calcium supplements so hopefully I won't inherit the osteoporosis my Mother has (she also never drank milk & I always have - not sure if that helps of not!).

momof8munchkins

I am so there!!!.. I am 40 and and pretty sure I am going through early menopause.. this last year has been a doozie..mood swings, PMS from hades..cravings, irritability.fatigue.etc etc. I take evening primrose oil daily. that helps a lot. I also do the deer exercise for women- goodle it..it's hard to describe- on my bad days..it " resets" my emotions ..suddenly I have a sense of well being and happiness. My diet is a huge factor also.. I have celiac disease and am Doing GAPS to heal my gut.. the closer I stick to the gaps diet ..the better I feel and happier I am. and finally good sleep, exercise and dark chocolate helps too.I have thought about trying ST. John's wort to help with depression and sadness but have not as of yet..I already take a boat load of vitamins and supplements lol

alvalaurie

I"m so dreading it as well. I'm 44. My kids are 7 and 9, I got pregnant easily. I'd of had another if my husband wasn't such a *d**k*...lol. (Separated now, blissful...) I've still not totally decided I'm done having kids even, though I suppose I am, time marches on, and all that. (Would need new daddy, at minimum...lol.) The thought of my reproductive years being done, when I barely even used them... it makes me sad. I spent so many years 'waiting'... we didn't even try till I was 35, thank goodness we didn't have any trouble getting pregnant at least. I always say, 'if I'd known I was going to like them so much I'd of started earlier.' I'm an only child, no kids in my family. I didn't realize how great kids are.

Of course, they're also driving me crazy. And my incompetent coworkers. I've been quite *****y for a bunch of years now. I was on Cymbalta for awhile... did help with me not wanting to kill my husband at least... but definitely did not help my figure, I gained more weight.

They say 'peri' menopause starts a lot earlier than you think it does. At least, my mother keeps saying it, and she is a big doctor Oz fan. I can see changes... both in my body, and for sure in my mood/emotional state. I've had a few night sweats, which sent me into a near panic thinking 'oh no its coming'... What I notice more though, is that I've really not got good control of my emotions now, and I always did before. I'm not a woman to cry much, when I do, I'm generally annoyed with myself over it. Just the way I am. Now, a made for TV movie can set me bawling. Last week, I was speaking to an older lady, who told me she was married ~40 years, I always see her together with her husband, I commented how nice it was they went everywhere together. She was like 'oh yes, we are always together. when he goes, I"m going too. I can't live without him.' Okay I could barely get her out of my room before I started crying, overcome with emotion. This is not like me...

My cycles are normal, I'm still on the pill.

In the end though, its unavoidable. Menopause is gonna happen, and we have to deal with it. Someone mentioned xanax... I've got some lorazepam for when I'm really losing it. Ask your doc for something like that, or consider antidepressants for a time if you're really having trouble. Even if you're not depressed (I don't think I was), they help a lot with mood.

Hormone replacement therapy... I don't know a ton about it, but I don't think its great for you, health wise. I think I've heard it increases your risk of breast cancer... and if you have any other kind of cancer you don't know about, estrogen feeds these tumors, cancer cells like estrogen, I think.

and, you can always come vent here, at least.

Good luck to all of us in this 'peri' stage of things.

Got a good chuckle out of this! Thanks for lightening the mood! :laugh:

I hesitate to enquire about anti-depressants and here's why....my Mother has battled depression her entire life; to the point she attempted suicide several times when I was growing up. To this day she is a walking miracle after all her body has been through. Long story short, I have always said I would fight with all thats in me, to not put my kids through what my brother & I went through (& still battle) with my Mother & her depression. In some weird way, my mind tells me that if I get on anti-depressants, that indicates I'm becoming like my Mother. I love her, but I don't want to be like her or be in the shape she's in physically when I'm her age!

Either way, though, we will survive!

alvalaurie

I am so there!!!.. I am 40 and and pretty sure I am going through early menopause.. this last year has been a doozie..mood swings, PMS from hades..cravings, irritability.fatigue.etc etc. I take evening primrose oil daily. that helps a lot. I also do the deer exercise for women- goodle it..it's hard to describe- on my bad days..it like resets my emotions ..suddenly I have a sense of well being and happiness. My diet is a huge factor also.. I have celiac disease and am Doing GAPS to heal my gut.. the close I stick to the gaps diet ..the better I feel and happier I am. and finally good sleep and exercise and dark chocolate helsp too.I have thought about trying ST. John's wort to help with depression and sadness

I have heard of primrose & St Johns wort and will look into them. Thanks! My boyfriend keeps teasing I need to get ginko biloba for my memory. Is this part of it too? I literally can walk into Wal-mart & it's like the theft detector sucks out of my brain the item I came for!

JanLeb

I am there with you as well! Thanks for all the tips.

I am 47 and was told this past February I am in peri-menopause. I have never had what you would call a regular or easy cycle, but now it is nuts! I never know for sure when it is even going to happen. Sometimes I go 2-3 months with nothing then BAM there it is will full force.
I am having an awful time resisting the cravings and munchies I get. The hot flashes are very annoying - especially when you are in a meeting in a room full of men :blushing: I don't sleep well anymore - the night sweats are just not right I tell you!!

Yes I think memory - or lack of it is also part of it, as well as brain fog and difficulty concentrating!

OH isn't it great to be a woman!!! Well actually it is, we just need to get past this stage and move on I guess.

tatianna68

I was thrown into it by a full hysterectomy, so my doctor put me on HRM because I was only 38. I did HRM for a year, then went off and had night sweats that made it hard to sleep and as a result I was very moody. I took black cohosh and that helped, but takes about 30 days to build up. I am now 50 and don't do anything and still have hot flashes and mild night sweats, but have learned to deal with it. There are many natural ways to relieve the symptoms, but the biggest is diet.

samb330

I am so glad for you ladies. I'm 47 and have been dealing with the same issues. The hot flashes are out of control and I don't even know what sleep is anymore. The worse thing is every time I am having a hot flash my husband says" are you having a hot flash, want me to fan you"? I want to knock him across the room. I'm so happy to know I'm not alone at this age. As far as TOM, when I do have one, it's out of control and lasts about 6 weeks. Then I'll go 4 or 5 months and nothing. My doc has prescribed meds which made it worse, and now he wants to do the Mirena. I told him "No Thanks". I'm just taking it day by day. We will survive this. I am woman hear me roar!!!!

acogg

I didn't think about it till now but when my period eventualy ended, I had periods that lasted a month or more. Steven King wrote a book about the never ending period, it was depressing.

Now, I am good about losing my period. My sex and my sexy feeling are better than ever. I love my husband!