New Motivation... fit my dress by New years..

chelsibear85

So after going back to work after maternity and having no time to myself and eating so poorly and snacking on sugary things so much, I realize I need to do something. It is very clear when I dont even want to go out for New Years with my friends because I will not look good and I dont feel good. I want to use to excuse that I have my son and will need to stay home and watch him. I have steadily gained weight since Oct. The worst was while I shouldve been "toning up" and eating clean before going to get married in Mexico at the end of Oct, I was eating bad and kept saying f it and not caring. I was about 170 in Aug or around the end and was feeling decent. I now weigh about 186 and noticed its all in my stomach mostly and I dont fit many of my clothes so now I wear sweats when i go anywhere. What is wrong with me? I know whats bad and I know what shouldnt go in my mouth and I definatly know when one is clearly enough. I long for fitness and feeling good but I dont do a damn thing about it. Im tired, i get home from work make decent or really healthy dinners and then snack all night long. Its like i make such a good dinner knowing in an hour im going to eat popcorn. Ugh I have looked at before and after pics and body building or fitness models and progress pics and think wow that would be amazing if I could do that. Its like a dream I have had for years!! I used to be so fit and and in great shape in high school and stuff. I would give anything to be a fraction of what i was.. But i still dont do anything. I hate it. I know what I need to do and I have knowledge of whats healthy. I think ok this time I want to do it.. I will need to make the sacrifice. I want to start running I think I would enjoy it. I am going to have to get up at 6 so I can do the shred or something before I get my son ready for daycare and myself ready for work. I want to go to the gym but I know by 8 i will be too tired and if i go it before I will have no time with my son before he goes to bed. I am almost setting myself up for failure because im not a morning person. I am very aware to of when i have eaten well in the past I feel good and i want that back! I need to stop this train wreck from heading down the path to the 200's again. ok thats my rant. I need to put in the effort badly. I will go grocery shopping tonight and prep stuff tomorrow for the week to eat well. It doesnt help that my husband has no interest in being healthy and is lazy on the couch every night cuz he is tired from work. or football is more important than anything, He doesnt even want to walk the dog, I wish it was something we could do together so that i dont feel envious of jsut relaxing on the couch. I know all this is an excuse, again i have no idea whats wrong with me when i seem to want something so bad! I have my 10 year high school reunion in May/June so I really want to make this a habbit. Id love to run a 10k in April and be at the top of my game for the start of my slo pitch season. I want to be healthy for my son, I want to be in the habbit of healthy home cooked meals and get him started on good food. I want to be active with him and do activities outdoor instead of giving him a habbit of video games and what not! I know that will all depend on my lifestyle when the time comes. thanks for reading, Im making my statement.. this is it, no more stupidity. I may be setting up for failure aroun Christmas but why wait til New years. I have to do this now. Anyone starting the shred? I wonder if I should do the 30 day shred or start her body revolution?