What would you think?

Music_is_my_soul

So, last night I received an email on PoF from a guy who lives in my town. The email simply says Beautiful. So I checked out his profile and he seems like a guy that I would go for. So we chatted back and forth for about an hour or two. Talking about this, that and the other. At one point he said something about cuddling, if I liked it and what not. I replied back and his response was in due time though. He had asked for a picture and I politely said, I don't share Nudes but I will send you a pic. He came back and said he wasn't asking for nudes. To which I explained to him about all the jerks that usually ask. He replied back that he wants to get to know me first before anything like that. Anyways, he finally tells me he just pulled up to his gym and he will write me tomorrow. Wishes me a good night and he's gone.

SOOOO Here is where I need your opinion. I go on PoF this morning, go to the view me, (cuz I like to see who has checked me out). And this guy has NEVER viewed my profile. So, he saw my main profile pic and decided to email. Normally, I get the guys who view my profile and I never hear from them. LOL So, I am wondering. What would you think about that? Only see's my pic and city and age and emails me....

Roadie2000

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Music_is_my_soul

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Hmmm I am not sure.

shammxo

I am pretty sure it is an option to view anonymously... Otherwise, that is really strange!

MikeM53082

Why did you assume he wanted to see nude pictures when he just asked if you had more pics? You calling him out on this makes him feel like a total creep, pervert, and a downright loser. Honestly, I would feel a little hurt if I was him.

The response to the main question is that he's likely viewing profile anonymously. Keep us posted!

RunIntheMud

Yes, there is an option in POF to view anonymously. If you go into settings you can turn that on. Also remember that the order in which your "views" appear is not the order in which they have viewed you, but rather when they have last logged on.

ETA - I also agree with Mike. Don't assume a man wants to see nude pics. Also, some men will talk about cuddling up front because they want to make sure you are compatible in those regards (it could be a dealbreaker for some). Like he said, in due time. But, it doesn't sound like he's a creep...sounds like he's just getting to know you.

pa_jorg

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Yes, there is. It's under "mail settings".

In a very short time you already have 2 things that have made your nervous about him:
1) he asked for pics (you assumed he meant dirty ones)
2) that he may or may not have read your profile

Just curious, but are you like this with everyone on PoF or is he giving you a vibe you feel you need to be cautious about? If you do this with everyone, you may need to work though that because being paranoid is not going to help you in the long run. If it's him, then move along, because you already have a gut feeling.

afv417

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Yes, there is. It's under "mail settings".

In a very short time you already have 2 things that have made your nervous about him:
1) he asked for pics (you assumed he meant dirty ones)
2) that he may or may not have read your profile

Just curious, but are you like this with everyone on PoF or is he giving you a vibe you feel you need to be cautious about? If you do this with everyone, you may need to work though that because being paranoid is not going to help you in the long run. If it's him, then move along, because you already have a gut feeling.

I agree with ^

DMZ_1

Erase the slate.

What do I mean by that?

We've learned that there is anonymous viewing on POF. And if he asked for more pictures, something about your current slate of pictures left something unclear.

Relationship development takes time. Even for just regular, platonic friendships. Relationships that involve sex have a different level than just regular friendships. But there's still a friendship component to it all.

Keep going and see what happens. Have fun!

AnnaPixie

I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd say it's pretty rare for guys to read profiles. Your pic is what matters! And he obviously likes the look of you :bigsmile:

If he's not asking for boob pics or asking you to drive to see him for a leg over, then perhaps he's even serious about finding a g/f!

I hear that that is possible, but it's early days!!! ...lol.........good luck :flowerforyou:

Music_is_my_soul

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Yes, there is. It's under "mail settings".

In a very short time you already have 2 things that have made your nervous about him:
1) he asked for pics (you assumed he meant dirty ones)
2) that he may or may not have read your profile

Just curious, but are you like this with everyone on PoF or is he giving you a vibe you feel you need to be cautious about? If you do this with everyone, you may need to work though that because being paranoid is not going to help you in the long run. If it's him, then move along, because you already have a gut feeling.

1.) The reason I said I wouldn't send nudes is because of the context of the previous message. We had been talking about sexual preferences and such and then he said, Send me a pic of you. So my exact reply was, I don't send nudes, but I can send you a pic of me.
2.) I never said anything to him about viewing or not viewing my profile. That was just something I thought about.

Danielle_2013

I find it so interesting that you would assume he would want a nude picture, even if based on the context of the previous conversation. It seems a lot of women who online date assume guys are going to be overly sexual or downright *kitten*.

I have to say, I'm no expert and it doesn't always serve me well, but going in..I just automatically assume that people are going to treat me well, are above board and honest and not just in it for casual sex. If it turns out otherwise, I deal with the situation then. I have found that both men and children generally rise to the expectations you have and/or set for them.

I would have sent a regular picture of myself..and not put any disclaimers out there about what I will and won't do. If he wanted more.. he'd have to explicitly ask..and that's when he'd get shot down.

flimflamfloz

I have found that both men and children generally rise to the expectations you have and/or set for them.

This is funny! :laugh:

Music_is_my_soul

I find it so interesting that you would assume he would want a nude picture, even if based on the context of the previous conversation. It seems a lot of women who online date assume guys are going to be overly sexual or downright *kitten*.

I have to say, I'm no expert and it doesn't always serve me well, but going in..I just automatically assume that people are going to treat me well, are above board and honest and not just in it for casual sex. If it turns out otherwise, I deal with the situation then. I have found that both men and children generally rise to the expectations you have and/or set for them.

I would have sent a regular picture of myself..and not put any disclaimers out there about what I will and won't do. If he wanted more.. he'd have to explicitly ask..and that's when he'd get shot down.

Yes I suppose I could have taken that route. Unfortunately, I have been dealing with a bunch *kitten* so I have so HUGE walls put up lately. I know, don't put all guys in the same boat. I need to get better at that. He didn't seem bothered by me saying I wouldn't send nudes. He has talked to me since.

pa_jorg

I have found that both men and children generally rise to the expectations you have and/or set for them.

This is funny! :laugh:

I agree with everything SB said...and do find this line rather amusing, however, if I had been the one to say it I think all hell would have broken loose around here. :laugh:

TheKitsune6

I would think that I maybe made him feel uncomfortable, apologize for assuming he was a jerk when he clearly isn't and then move forward by being myself and not guarded.

Music_is_my_soul

I did apologize to him and explained my reason for saying it. He totally understands and was OK with it. I was only questioning you guys really about the whole "not viewing my profile thing". I was not aware that you can view profiles anonymously. Thank you for your advice on the pics thing regardless.

farmers_daughter

I did apologize to him and explained my reason for saying it. He totally understands and was OK with it. I was only questioning you guys really about the whole "not viewing my profile thing". I was not aware that you can view profiles anonymously. Thank you for your advice on the pics thing regardless.

If he seems like a keeper, keep talking.....many many if not all guys who I assumed [wanted nude/boob pics] with back in the day....quit talking right then and there.

Proof that guys do PMS. :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:

MikeM53082

I did apologize to him and explained my reason for saying it. He totally understands and was OK with it. I was only questioning you guys really about the whole "not viewing my profile thing". I was not aware that you can view profiles anonymously. Thank you for your advice on the pics thing regardless.

Two thumbs up on the apology!

will010574

My two cents is this:
He checked out your profile anonymously and had at least initial interest. Since he has sent out long drawn out emails on PoF in the past and got no responses, he went through and sent probably 10-12 quick emails to women he was initially attracted to based on pics and profile.

You replied to his email so he then steps it up and begins conversing to see if the two of you are worth pursuing. He asked for more pictures because we all put up our best pics on those sites, so he of course wants to see more...I always ask for more pics (not nude...I want to see you nude in person the pic is nice but not my goal) These additional pics are so I can get multiple ideas of how you look...unfortunately a lot of folks post pics from "good angles" on these websites. That may not always reflect reality.

I may be a bit of a pessimist when it comes to online dating but that is my take.

@ SB that men and children comment was hilarious!!

Lift_This_

Are you sure there's not an option in PoF to view profiles anonymously? I don't remember if there is or not, but that would make more sense.

Hmmm I am not sure.

there is...if you don't want everyone knowing who you are checking out.