Pictures, Facebook and other "rules" surrounding birth

TLCEsq

I am curious to see what other mamas think about this stuff. I do have a birth plan which covers the nitty gritty as far as the actual birth and I'm not all that nervous about labor, to be honest. My husband was asking me what I am most worried about (we were just chit chatting the other night) and I told him that next to breastfeeding, my worries surround the management of relatives and friends immediately after our baby is born. He didn't quite know what I meant so I went into detail.

I don't want any pictures PERIOD of me while I am in the hospital, except one that my husband gets to take of me and the baby that I have time to somewhat clean up for. I also don't want any relatives bringing in cameras or using cell phone cameras to take any pictures at all whatsoever in the hospital. I want my husband solely in charge of taking all hospital pictures. So if someone wants their picture taken with the baby (like grandparents, etc.) that's fine but I want my husband to be in charge of all that.

Secondly, we both agree that there is a "no Facebook posting policy" until we give the go ahead. We had to do this when we found out we were pregnant and also when we revealed the gender to certain people. His mom will get on Facebook in two seconds and broadcast everything, and I don't want anyone making any kind of a birth announcement or posting pictures until after we do. I also don't want any inappropriate pictures posted (e.g. my baby boy fully naked). All of these things have happened in the past so I have very good reasons to feel the way I do. Hubs thinks I am paranoid, but I don't think so!

Any of you have similar thoughts, experiences, etc.?

VelociMama

We are totally fine with our family posting pics on FB, but I agree with you about the no-nudity or other inappropriate pics. I do NOT want unflattering pics of me giving birth on FB either, but I would like to have a few for us to have in an album (no vag shots or naked boob shots though).

It's completely up to you and your husband what you are comfortable with. There's really no "wrong" answer.

My sister-in-law's husband has a strict "no baby pics on FB" policy. He has a few extended family members he doesn't want involved in the baby's life, so that's why he feels that way. They just setup a Photobucket account that is password protected that she posts pics to. Only family members that are on good terms have the link and the PW.

TLCEsq

We are totally fine with our family posting pics on FB, but I agree with you about the no-nudity or other inappropriate pics. I do NOT want unflattering pics of me giving birth on FB either, but I would like to have a few for us to have in an album (no vag shots or naked boob shots though).

I know one lady who had a video of the whole shebang and actually posted it. Needless to say I didn't watch it but hey, I guess everyone has a different privacy value LOL! I'm okay with other people posting pics after we announce the birth, but not till then. When we called my MIL to tell her the sex, we told her that we were calling everyone and not to say anything or post anything. We called my SIL next and the first thing she said was, "Oh mom texted me and told me I am going to have a nephew!" It spreads like wildfire in that family, LOL.

nursenikki829

Personally, I think that birth is beautiful, and I am having a birth photographer for my homebirth so I can make a slideshow of everything. My goal is to educate, empower and inspire women to trust in their bodies and to appreciate how natural and beautiful birth is. I also think that breastfeeding pics are beautiful. I think that it is really just personal preference and how comfortable that you are with your body, and what is shared with social media. I also don't mind naked baby pics, I love naked babies, and all of their adorable little parts! My only social media sharing requirement is that no one knows that I am in labor or have given birth until I okay it, because I don't want a truckload of folks showing up at my house during our initial bonding time. To each their own!

bushidowoman

There are very few people who know when I go into labor...my husband, my midwife, my oldest daughter, and last time a close photographer friend was also present. They all know to not post anything without permission or to announce anything before I do. If I thought anyone was going to invade my privacy, they would see announcements and pictures along with the rest of the world.

RBXChas

No one knew I was in labor except me and my husband and my employer (because I wouldn't be showing up to work that day!). Frankly I was afraid I would get to the hospital and they would send me home. So the mass text went out, then I posted a picture to Facebook with the announcement, then I mass texted the picture. I didn't mind if the picture was shared, but I wanted to be the first to announce it on Facebook.

I was a no-pictures momma, too. Our hospital does not allow pictures to be taken before birth (so no vag shots), and I did not want pictures of me. No naked pictures of the baby were taken, and we took the pictures we wanted to take of the baby or us or the baby with a visitor, etc.

No breastfeeding shots, either. I am comfortable with my body, but I don't want anyone other than the LC, one of the nurses, or my husband seeing me breastfeed. (Our son is so young, so whatever, that's fine, too.)

jamie31

I agree. I honestly dont want any of those pictures floating around on FB with me looking like a drugged out homeless person ( lets be honest no women is going to look her best after being in labor for who knows how long!) I also want to be the one to post the baby picture, I will be seriously pissed if someone else does it before me. I think i can control this though by making everyone wait a little bit to see the baby. I only want my mom and boyfriend in the delivery room and i want an hour or so alone with my baby before all the relatives come in. Honestly if it were just up to me the only ones who would know i am in labor would be our immediate family but trying to tell that to my boyfriend just wont happen

Jenny_Rose77

This topic made me chuckle. My husband took some pics of his sons and ex-wife immediately post-labor. When he looks at them, he sees his sweet babies. When I look at them, I do see the sweet babes, but I also see one red-faced bedraggled looking woman (who, when I first saw the pic, I mistook for the ex's grandmother/not said ex). I don't care if I am not the first person to send out a pic of baby, but I let my husband know in no uncertain terms that I do not want pics of me taken until after i have had a chance to brush my hair/wipe the sweat off my face. Good lord.

RBXChas

I only want my mom and boyfriend in the delivery room and i want an hour or so alone with my baby before all the relatives come in. Honestly if it were just up to me the only ones who would know i am in labor would be our immediate family but trying to tell that to my boyfriend just wont happen

I've considered how lucky I am that only two members of my family and none of my husband's family live nearby. My sister and one of my brothers live nearby, and that's it. Everyone else lives at least a few hours' drive away (and, in the case of my parents, an all-day drive or a plane flight), and since everyone works full-time, I have very few people coming to see us in the hospital. Otherwise I took phone calls, except I admittedly ignored my other brother's call when he decided to call at 11:30 at night. WHO THE HELL CALLS A NEW MOTHER IN THE HOSPITAL AT 11:30 AT NIGHT? I know we tend to be up at weird hours, but that is FAR from a good time to call. Everyone else texted before they called to make sure I was able to even take a phone call.

ETA that I don't mean to sound like I don't want family/friends coming to see us after birth, but it is nice to have a bit of time to take it all in without people descending on you and then scoffing when you ask them to step outside so you can breastfeed (the last thing I needed when I was figuring out that breastfeeding thing was a breastfeeding cover). It gave family a chance to come as they were able, which meant that they got more individualized time with the baby. By the time our son was a month old, everyone had met him at least once.

TLCEsq

Honestly if it were just up to me the only ones who would know i am in labor would be our immediate family but trying to tell that to my boyfriend just wont happen

This is me too! My husband even said that he's going to be "too excited" to not post on Facebook that I'm in labor or whatever. I told him no one needs a play-by-play of what's going on AND he's probably going to be way too busy and stressed to even think about doing that anyway. If it were up to me, I wouldn't let anyone know anything until after the baby is born. I'm not the type of person to want 10 people waiting in the hospital for hours. He doesn't think "people do that anymore"... although it's our first child, sometimes I wonder where he gets these notions from, LOL. I told him if he thinks his mom isn't going to speed over as soon as she finds out I'm in labor, then he's in for a reality check!

bushidowoman

Honestly if it were just up to me the only ones who would know i am in labor would be our immediate family but trying to tell that to my boyfriend just wont happen

This is me too! My husband even said that he's going to be "too excited" to not post on Facebook that I'm in labor or whatever. I told him no one needs a play-by-play of what's going on AND he's probably going to be way too busy and stressed to even think about doing that anyway. If it were up to me, I wouldn't let anyone know anything until after the baby is born. I'm not the type of person to want 10 people waiting in the hospital for hours. He doesn't think "people do that anymore"... although it's our first child, sometimes I wonder where he gets these notions from, LOL. I told him if he thinks his mom isn't going to speed over as soon as she finds out I'm in labor, then he's in for a reality check!

With my first baby, my husband called my parents, his parents, and his siblings to tell them we were going to the hospital (we all lived close together.) EVERYONE, plus a few cousins and extras, showed up IN MY LABOR ROOM. Despite the "only two visitors in the labor room" policy, the staff did not kick them out. I had to be the one to do it. While trying to breathe through contractions.
So, yeah, after that, I said we'd call people and make the announcement after I've fed the baby, gotten cleaned up, and feel like having visitors. We birth at home now, and the in-laws live three hours away, which makes it a bit easier.

nursenikki829

Even if it is just fro yourself, I would recommend taking a picture of you meeting your baby for the first time. It is a once in a life- time picture. I don't have one from my first baby, and I regret it.
Here is a picture of me seeing my son for the first time after I pulled him from the water. (I hope that this works)

VelociMama

Even if it is just fro yourself, I would recommend taking a picture of you meeting your baby for the first time. It is a once in a life- time picture. I don't have one from my first baby, and I regret it.
Here is a picture of me seeing my son for the first time after I pulled him from the water. (I hope that this works)

I want a picture like this too.

RBXChas

EVERYONE, plus a few cousins and extras, showed up IN MY LABOR ROOM. Despite the "only two visitors in the labor room" policy, the staff did not kick them out. I had to be the one to do it. While trying to breathe through contractions.

I would have been flipping out!!!

Our hospital has the same two-person policy, but I've never wanted anyone other than my husband there with me. As for your "general" room, all I know is that there was a signal in the maternity ward for when you wanted your visitors to leave. You called up the nurse's station and asked for grape juice. They'd come in and kick everyone out for some made-up reason :happy:

redheadmommy

With my first I had both my mom and my husband in the room during labor , but it was my choice. I am very close to my mom, who lives overseas, and I invited her to come and live with us and help us out for the first month of my baby.
We do not have any relative live close by, so nobody come to the hospital.
This time around I invited my mom again to help us out at the first couple of month. She come, but she will not come for the labour as she is watching my son.
I had a couple of friends who showed interest to visit me at the hospital, but I said no to everybody. My hospital have a very minimal stay policy anyway, and after normal vaginal birth average stay is only 24 hrs. Even after I 'll go home, I told everybody I 'll let them know when we are ready for visitors, which I expect to be around 2 weeks aft birth.
Generally I do not like people post any picture of me or my child on Facebook. I set my FB account such way that they can not tag me without permission i had a few argrument about this with friends,, but i put my foot down and told them i consider this kind of ghng as invading my privacy. Dh and me are very private people, and I only post a few pictures per year on FB. Mainly I family Christmass picture, one birthday picture, and usually one Halloween costume picture. I never post any life moment type picture on any public site ever. I have a password protected private blog, where I post tons of picture for my close family and friends to look at. But they all. Know by now that they have to respect our privacy or the will not get access to our pictures in the future.

redheadmommy

Plus with my son labor started at night and had the baby at the morning, and we didn't even told anybody what happened until later that day.
I think this time around, we only going to tell people once I am home from the hospital. Unless I end up with a c- section, because that would lead to 3 day stay and we can not hide the news tha long.

ZombieSlayer

The only people in my birthing room with my first were the nurse, my husband, and myself (doctor didn't make it in time, despite 13 hour, in-hospital, labor)...

The only picture from that room, is the one I took of my husband cradling our daughter at the warming table.

This round, I expect the same... except for the doctor to also be there.

ZombieSlayer

Our hospital has the same two-person policy, but I've never wanted anyone other than my husband there with me. As for your "general" room, all I know is that there was a signal in the maternity ward for when you wanted your visitors to leave. You called up the nurse's station and asked for grape juice. They'd come in and kick everyone out for some made-up reason :happy:

I love this! I hope my hospital has something like this. Just awesome.

bushidowoman

Even if it is just fro yourself, I would recommend taking a picture of you meeting your baby for the first time. It is a once in a life- time picture. I don't have one from my first baby, and I regret it.
Here is a picture of me seeing my son for the first time after I pulled him from the water. (I hope that this works)

Beautiful!

TLCEsq

My husband thinks I'm "freaking out" over nothing. I suppose I'm just super worried about my MIL turning into a crazy psycho grandmother with all her pictures and stuff... maybe I should cut her some slack but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm not overly private but I am about certain things and this is one of them!

VelociMama

My husband thinks I'm "freaking out" over nothing. I suppose I'm just super worried about my MIL turning into a crazy psycho grandmother with all her pictures and stuff... maybe I should cut her some slack but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm not overly private but I am about certain things and this is one of them!

I think you and your husband should make a decision you're both comfortable with and just stick with it. This is YOUR baby, not theirs. Your decisions and comfort level trump everyone else's opinions.

RBXChas

My husband thinks I'm "freaking out" over nothing. I suppose I'm just super worried about my MIL turning into a crazy psycho grandmother with all her pictures and stuff... maybe I should cut her some slack but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm not overly private but I am about certain things and this is one of them!

I think you and your husband should make a decision you're both comfortable with and just stick with it. This is YOUR baby, not theirs. Your decisions and comfort level trump everyone else's opinions.

^I agree with this!

My mom used to have this habit of taking all of our kids' pictures that we post on Facebook and re-posting them on her page. We all have privacy settings so that only friends can see pictures, not friends of friends, but my mom does not. I finally asked her to please stop re-posting pictures of my child, since I don't know who is seeing them by virtue of her doing that. She stopped, and shortly thereafter she stopped doing it to my siblings as well.

TLCEsq

I think you and your husband should make a decision you're both comfortable with and just stick with it. This is YOUR baby, not theirs. Your decisions and comfort level trump everyone else's opinions.

I totally agree! I haven't brought it up lately but I will again later on as we get closer and I plan on talking to her myself. I know if I am nice about it and talk to her, there won't be a problem. I am just going to tell her that we prefer not to have any pictures taken in the hospital, we want to make the birth announcement, etc. She will understand. She can take all the pictures she wants later once we are more acclimated and stuff.

^I agree with this!

My mom used to have this habit of taking all of our kids' pictures that we post on Facebook and re-posting them on her page. We all have privacy settings so that only friends can see pictures, not friends of friends, but my mom does not. I finally asked her to please stop re-posting pictures of my child, since I don't know who is seeing them by virtue of her doing that. She stopped, and shortly thereafter she stopped doing it to my siblings as well.

THIS is exactly what I am afraid of because she will do it. Then all her relatives (a lot of whom are crazy) and other people will be seeing them and commenting, etc. I don't even want to deal with that at all! She is SO picture-happy even right now with no grandkids so my privacy is going to go out the window because every time she sees me with the baby she's going to be the papparazzi. She does it right now, every get together, every occasion, TONS of photos, and all of them (even the unflattering crappy ones) go on Facebook. I can handle my picture being taken but she goes way overboard. I thought about just deleting my Facebook but if my husband keeps his the same thing will happen and then I won't be able to see what's going on LOL. I think I am just going to limit what I post. Some of my friends with kids go crazy with posting pictures. I don't know what I will be like until Brock is born but I don't plan on going crazy. Of course I will want to show my baby off to some extent, but it'll be harnessed.

RBXChas

I think you and your husband should make a decision you're both comfortable with and just stick with it. This is YOUR baby, not theirs. Your decisions and comfort level trump everyone else's opinions.

I totally agree! I haven't brought it up lately but I will again later on as we get closer and I plan on talking to her myself. I know if I am nice about it and talk to her, there won't be a problem. I am just going to tell her that we prefer not to have any pictures taken in the hospital, we want to make the birth announcement, etc. She will understand. She can take all the pictures she wants later once we are more acclimated and stuff.

^I agree with this!

My mom used to have this habit of taking all of our kids' pictures that we post on Facebook and re-posting them on her page. We all have privacy settings so that only friends can see pictures, not friends of friends, but my mom does not. I finally asked her to please stop re-posting pictures of my child, since I don't know who is seeing them by virtue of her doing that. She stopped, and shortly thereafter she stopped doing it to my siblings as well.

THIS is exactly what I am afraid of because she will do it. Then all her relatives (a lot of whom are crazy) and other people will be seeing them and commenting, etc. I don't even want to deal with that at all! She is SO picture-happy even right now with no grandkids so my privacy is going to go out the window because every time she sees me with the baby she's going to be the papparazzi. She does it right now, every get together, every occasion, TONS of photos, and all of them (even the unflattering crappy ones) go on Facebook. I can handle my picture being taken but she goes way overboard. I thought about just deleting my Facebook but if my husband keeps his the same thing will happen and then I won't be able to see what's going on LOL. I think I am just going to limit what I post. Some of my friends with kids go crazy with posting pictures. I don't know what I will be like until Brock is born but I don't plan on going crazy. Of course I will want to show my baby off to some extent, but it'll be harnessed.

Maybe you can post your pictures and include all your Facebook friends but her? Then when she wonders why she can't see it, you can tell her there must be something wrong with her Facebook/her computer/her phone/whatever. She can't "share" it if she can't access it through her account!

EmilyRanae22

Our hospital has the same two-person policy, but I've never wanted anyone other than my husband there with me. As for your "general" room, all I know is that there was a signal in the maternity ward for when you wanted your visitors to leave. You called up the nurse's station and asked for grape juice. They'd come in and kick everyone out for some made-up reason :happy:

I love this! I hope my hospital has something like this. Just awesome.

I hope our hospital has something like this! I really just want my husband in there when it comes time to push. I'm down for having my sis and mom in there for some of the early labor but I have been working up the guts to tell them "I'm kicking you out whenever the hell I feel like it"