When?
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CollegiateGrief
Posts: 552 Member
Just need a place to vent.
When will it end? When will I find somebody? I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. I've gotten so used to the loneliness, and the sadness, but sometimes it just takes over.
I'm 25. I've had one boyfriend in my life, for two months. I've now been single going on 6 years. All I've ever wanted out of life was to find someone I love, marry him, have kids, etc. I've known it since I was old enough to realize that little girls grow up into women, and boys grow up into men, and sometimes these former boys and girls choose to marry each other and be mommies and daddies. But the universe doesn't care.
I go places. I meet people. I'm intelligent, and kind, and have good taste, and dress well, and smell nice, and do my hair, and wear make up. I talk to people, and I'm only mildly awkward. I'm a little nerdy, and into nerdy guys. I graduated from college, support myself, have my own place, and only one cat. And nothing. Nothing ever happens. No one ever expresses interest in me. I tried online dating, and the guys I feel I am on par with never respond. I get the creeps fine, sure, and some nice guys that I've gone out with that just weren't for me, nor I for them.
All I can think is that it's my weight. But then why do so many other women my size have boyfriends or husbands or partners, and I can't find one? Am I doing something else wrong? Is there something fundamentally wrong that I just can't spot? Do I want it too badly? I don't act desperate. I would never try to rope a guy into something too serious too soon.
I just can't stand it. I want this to be over. Even something casual for a while would be nice. Just someone to touch and talk with and laugh with and hold. I've never had it. It's SO. AWKWARD. to be out in a group of people and be so inexperienced when they start talking about sex.
Probably TMI, but I just had to write this somewhere, post it out there for someone to see. This is probably a better place than Facebook.
I just got back from a big social event that I forced myself to go to, since I am introverted and making myself talk to new people just isn't super fun. I did have a lot of fun though. And met such a great guy. Who is married. Like all the great guys seem to be now that I'm 25. I missed my chance, and girls who are just as great as me but hotter snatched them all up. He was 26. They have kids. I was about to start crying standing there wishing I had his wife's life.
When will it end? When will I find somebody? I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. I've gotten so used to the loneliness, and the sadness, but sometimes it just takes over.
I'm 25. I've had one boyfriend in my life, for two months. I've now been single going on 6 years. All I've ever wanted out of life was to find someone I love, marry him, have kids, etc. I've known it since I was old enough to realize that little girls grow up into women, and boys grow up into men, and sometimes these former boys and girls choose to marry each other and be mommies and daddies. But the universe doesn't care.
I go places. I meet people. I'm intelligent, and kind, and have good taste, and dress well, and smell nice, and do my hair, and wear make up. I talk to people, and I'm only mildly awkward. I'm a little nerdy, and into nerdy guys. I graduated from college, support myself, have my own place, and only one cat. And nothing. Nothing ever happens. No one ever expresses interest in me. I tried online dating, and the guys I feel I am on par with never respond. I get the creeps fine, sure, and some nice guys that I've gone out with that just weren't for me, nor I for them.
All I can think is that it's my weight. But then why do so many other women my size have boyfriends or husbands or partners, and I can't find one? Am I doing something else wrong? Is there something fundamentally wrong that I just can't spot? Do I want it too badly? I don't act desperate. I would never try to rope a guy into something too serious too soon.
I just can't stand it. I want this to be over. Even something casual for a while would be nice. Just someone to touch and talk with and laugh with and hold. I've never had it. It's SO. AWKWARD. to be out in a group of people and be so inexperienced when they start talking about sex.
Probably TMI, but I just had to write this somewhere, post it out there for someone to see. This is probably a better place than Facebook.
I just got back from a big social event that I forced myself to go to, since I am introverted and making myself talk to new people just isn't super fun. I did have a lot of fun though. And met such a great guy. Who is married. Like all the great guys seem to be now that I'm 25. I missed my chance, and girls who are just as great as me but hotter snatched them all up. He was 26. They have kids. I was about to start crying standing there wishing I had his wife's life.
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I go places. I meet people. I'm intelligent, and kind, and have good taste, and dress well, and smell nice, and do my hair, and wear make up. I talk to people, and I'm only mildly awkward. I'm a little nerdy, and into nerdy guys. I graduated from college, support myself, have my own place, and only one cat.
^^^LOL I love you! You are super cute and funny,
I am going to be 30 next month and I am still looking for mister right. I am very quiet and do not have many friends anymore so I know how hard it is to find a cool person, male or female to hang out with. I believe we will both find someone.0 -
Thank you. And thanks for the encouragement. I'm a lot happier today. Just need to get it off my chest sometimes! 0
