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Your Next Date Wants To Know Your Credit Score
Replies
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As someone with a credit score in the upper 700's, I think dating a fiscally responsible women is a definite must. However, I don't think I'd have the gall to ask her on a date what her credit score is. After two or three dates, I can usually size up the woman and get a good idea on how good she is with money. If she's driving a Benz, and bounces from roommate to roommate and job to job.. I have a feeling she might not be the most responsible person.
I think it's crazy that some people don't have a credit score. I've had a credit card since I was 18, student loans, car loans, etc etc. If you don't have a credit score, there's very little chance you'll qualify for a mortgage when you want to buy a house. Developing a good credit history is very, very important.
My boyfriend was taught growing up to avoid credit cards and debt. So, he took it literally. He sees the error of his ways now and he's following my "get good credit" instructions but it's gonna be a good year before he's qualified for a decent loan of any kind. I too had a credit card at 18 and have been slowly building it up. At this point I could get a loan for what ever I want. I don't think he was being fiscally irresponsible, he just never needed credit...
Christine, I advise that you get a credit card, buy something, wait for the bill, pay it in full, then shower, rinse, repeat! By the time you are my age (34) you'll thank me!
Get that boy a credit card and a charge card at Macy's. Keep a low balance and make your payments each month. It's going to take some time, but he'll build good credit.
He is already. He's never had someone to give him sound credit advice, but we chose Kohls instead of Macy's but yes, we are doing that exact thing. The next thing is to aim larger (Discover, Visa, etc), but he needs to get used to this one first. Baby steps, he'll get there!
Getting your first credit card can be an arduous process. I thought it was typical to do that by age 25 though.0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Why would wanting to date someone that is financially sound considered petty? I have good credit, live within my means and would like to have a partner that does the say. There is always an exception to the rule but I don't think it is a petty reason at all.
In some financial situations, it's better to just bite the bullet and take the hit to your credit. If a women bought a house in 2004 for 600k and the value dropped to 300k in 2008. Also, in that 4 year time frame, she's been laid off and is struggling to make ends meet.
Been there done that. Bought my house in 2006, worked sub-prime mortgage year to the day after I bought the house got laid off as the division was closed down. Had to take a demotion and pay cut to get a new job, took me 4 years to get back up to what I was being paid. Probably would have let it get forecloused on if I would have been able to keep my job. Background checks most morgage companies won't hire you if you have a foreclosure.
This is another thing most companies will check your credit prior to hiring you as well.0 -
Does anyone else think net worth is more important than credit score?
Usually higher net worth = higher credit score. I actually think it is worse to have a high net worth and poor credit history. If you have the funds to pay and are not making your payments that means you don't care about your obligations.0 -
i personally think it is.
unless you're talking net worth tied up in homes and cars ( which is debt...).
but, 401K, IRAs, savings, etc those mean more to me than a credit score.
i don't have a CLUE what mine is...... but, i have money put away, i have retirement set up, i rent my home ( because i'm gonna move in 2014 hopefully!) and own my car.
i do have debt from my divorce, but i'm paying it off as quickly as i can. i always pay hundreds more than the minimum, and always on time.Does anyone else think net worth is more important than credit score?0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Why would wanting to date someone that is financially sound considered petty? I have good credit, live within my means and would like to have a partner that does the say. There is always an exception to the rule but I don't think it is a petty reason at all.
Well simply because there may be a reason for a bad credit score. Mine for example was flawless for years. However I got married to a woman that was a financial mess, which inevitably led me to be a financial mess. Of course these are my decisions however keep in mind that it isn't like I went out trying to be as irresponsible as possible with my credit.
So, you as an individual can choose whoever you want to be with. However, if you find someone incredible yet their credit score is temporarily tanked, it seems petty to simply write them off. Especially if they are currently on the track to fixing their situation.0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Why would wanting to date someone that is financially sound considered petty? I have good credit, live within my means and would like to have a partner that does the say. There is always an exception to the rule but I don't think it is a petty reason at all.
Well simply because there may be a reason for a bad credit score. Mine for example was flawless for years. However I got married to a woman that was a financial mess, which inevitably led me to be a financial mess. Of course these are my decisions however keep in mind that it isn't like I went out trying to be as irresponsible as possible with my credit.
So, you as an individual can choose whoever you want to be with. However, if you find someone incredible yet their credit score is temporarily tanked, it seems petty to simply write them off. Especially if they are currently on the track to fixing their situation.
So you are totally missing where I say there can always be an exception to the rule?0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Why would wanting to date someone that is financially sound considered petty? I have good credit, live within my means and would like to have a partner that does the say. There is always an exception to the rule but I don't think it is a petty reason at all.
Well simply because there may be a reason for a bad credit score. Mine for example was flawless for years. However I got married to a woman that was a financial mess, which inevitably led me to be a financial mess. Of course these are my decisions however keep in mind that it isn't like I went out trying to be as irresponsible as possible with my credit.
So, you as an individual can choose whoever you want to be with. However, if you find someone incredible yet their credit score is temporarily tanked, it seems petty to simply write them off. Especially if they are currently on the track to fixing their situation.
So you are totally missing where I say there can always be an exception to the rule?
I suppose, but I always consider "exception to the rule" to be a small minority. I am assuming there are many people who are in my shoes, especially now with how the economy is currently. However I guess I am assuming, maybe right now the majority of the population has flawless credit.0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Why would wanting to date someone that is financially sound considered petty? I have good credit, live within my means and would like to have a partner that does the say. There is always an exception to the rule but I don't think it is a petty reason at all.
Well simply because there may be a reason for a bad credit score. Mine for example was flawless for years. However I got married to a woman that was a financial mess, which inevitably led me to be a financial mess. Of course these are my decisions however keep in mind that it isn't like I went out trying to be as irresponsible as possible with my credit.
So, you as an individual can choose whoever you want to be with. However, if you find someone incredible yet their credit score is temporarily tanked, it seems petty to simply write them off. Especially if they are currently on the track to fixing their situation.
So you are totally missing where I say there can always be an exception to the rule?
I suppose, but I always consider "exception to the rule" to be a small minority. I am assuming there are many people who are in my shoes, especially now with how the economy is currently. However I guess I am assuming, maybe right now the majority of the population has flawless credit.
I don't see the world in black and white, most people don't, so exceptions to me are usually the majority rather than the minority. No person is perfect, I know I am not. I just prefer to be dating someone that is the same boat as me be it financially, emotionally, and mentally but there is always a little leeway.0 -
I don't see the world in black and white, most people don't, so exceptions to me are usually the majority rather than the minority. No person is perfect, I know I am not. I just prefer to be dating someone that is the same boat as me be it financially, emotionally, and mentally but there is always a little leeway.
I don't think I followed this. How can exceptions be the majority? If you have an ideal/policy/rule/guideline but you will make an exception to said I/P/R/G the majority of the time, it really isn't an I/P/R/G. By definition what you peceive as the I/P/R/G would actually be the exception or you don't really have an I/P/R/G.0 -
I don't see the world in black and white, most people don't, so exceptions to me are usually the majority rather than the minority. No person is perfect, I know I am not. I just prefer to be dating someone that is the same boat as me be it financially, emotionally, and mentally but there is always a little leeway.
I don't think I followed this. How can exceptions be the majority? If you have an ideal/policy/rule/guideline but you will make an exception to said I/P/R/G the majority of the time, it really isn't an I/P/R/G. By definition what you peceive as the I/P/R/G would actually be the exception or you don't really have an I/P/R/G.
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.0 -
I'm not worried about net worth as long as he can pay his bills. I will observe spending habits as others said to make sure he's not racking up debt. Once a relationship is serious enough, I do believe it's important to have a talk about finances (debts, credit, salary, etc). If you're going to have a long term relationship with someone, you need to know what you're walking into.
I have never had to bring it up. Men that I've dated have brought it up as early as during email conversations (not in depth, but casual questions). I have no timeframe as far as when it's appropriate to discuss. There is a perception that single mothers are only after men for their money, so I would prefer it to be discussed sooner rather than later so he doesn't have to worry about my intentions.0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.0 -
LOL, nothing wrong with a guy under 6'. Mine is 5'7". Works out just right for me.
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weird question on a first date. it's like asking someone their sexual history on the first date.
first dates aren't exactly the most appropriate time to ask someone their life story. that's more like an interview and less like a date0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
That's what women say at least.0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
That's what women say at least.
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.0 -
This is simply the most depressing topic I have ever read in Single Peeps.
I am now going to go cry my penniless self to sleep.0 -
I think Missing is right here...
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.
That's what women say at least.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
What planet are you living on?Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most women say they want (for argument sake) a 6'4'' guy and when they do end up with a guy, then it might not (and probably will not) be the case. Ideally it would.
I guess it depends on your ideal list: is it "ideal-realistic" (in which case it is more of a deal breaker list) or "ideal-unrealistic" (in which case you are more looking at finding someone who fits 60-80% of the bill). The "ideal-unrealistic" list is more of a woman thing, I've noticed.
Being physically attractive only acts as a catalyst with women, so is definitely worth it but not a requirement as you can work harder for the same end result (by showing your other qualities).
I would say physical attraction is more of an end with men (probably not 100% true either though).0 -
I think Missing is right here...
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.
That's what women say at least.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
What planet are you living on?Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most women say they want (for argument sake) a 6'4'' guy and when they do end up with a guy, then it might not (and probably will not) be the case. Ideally it would.
I guess it depends on your ideal list: is it "ideal-realistic" (in which case it is more of a deal breaker list) or "ideal-unrealistic" (in which case you are more looking at finding someone who fits 60-80% of the bill). The "ideal-unrealistic" list is more of a woman thing, I've noticed.
Being physically attractive only acts as a catalyst with women, so is definitely worth it but not a requirement as you can work harder for the same end result (by showing your other qualities).
I would say physical attraction is more of an end with men (probably not 100% true either though).
Thanks Flim.
I also say as I do and the women around me do. I live in a short city. Really I don't know why but the guys here are short. So most women here say they want a guy 6+ plus but really as long as the guys is taller then them by 4 or more inches most women will date them. Seeing as the average woman is 5'4 - 5'5 a 5'9 guy is usually within that range.0 -
I've datd several guys who were 6'4" and love the height... at the same time I also REALLY liked a guy who was my height 5'4" because of his great personality.
As to the credit thing... I wrote a blog about it...http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/JanieJack/view/credit-score-background-check-in-dating-459399
Bottom line: I think if you're talking about marriage, you really need to know this stuff about each other.
When I got divorced, my credit score was 520 due to my ex (and some of my dumb decisions supporting him). 2 years later, I bought a new car and was shocked to see my score was now 820. What did I do? Paid bills on time, lived within my means, and limited my use of credit. That’s it. I didn't expect my credit to have gone up so significantly. But from my days working in the mortgage industry I know that those 3 things are THE KEYS to improving your credit and they are things ALL of us can do0 -
If a guy asked me my credit score I'd tell him to mind his own freakin business!! :noway:0
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lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Agreed.
Divorce screws your credit score badly. Credit scores don't define a person.0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
That's what women say at least.
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.
Then why bother even asking the question here if you don't believe women are truthful when they tell you what they want?
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lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Agreed.
Divorce screws your credit score badly. Credit scores don't define a person.
Wow... you two needed help destroying your credit?? I managed to F mine all by my lonesome!
About 2 years ago I decided credit sucks, and found out there are many ways to get things without a bank... also found out I don't need a lot of things.0 -
lol
wow
I guess my answer is biased simply because after my previous marriage my credit score has become ****, regardless I think that if you find someone on the right track, judging them by a credit score is a little..........petty?
That being said maybe I am biased.
Agreed.
Divorce screws your credit score badly. Credit scores don't define a person.
Wow... you two needed help destroying your credit?? I managed to F mine all by my lonesome!
About 2 years ago I decided credit sucks, and found out there are many ways to get things without a bank... also found out I don't need a lot of things.
How very Dude of you. I like!0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
That's what women say at least.
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.
Then why bother even asking the question here if you don't believe women are truthful when they tell you what they want?
I probably could have stated it better and said "Women will let personality compensate what a man lacks in looks"0 -
Most people are not what you would consider your ideal and people will make exceptions for them. How many times have we posted our lists of what our ideal mate would be? Most the girls will post something like I want a guy that is 6'4 financially sound, with a good sense of humor but the same girl will come across a guy that is 5'9 financially sound with an okay sense of humor they probably would not turn them down if they asked them out.
What planet are you living on?
No woman who wants a 6'4" guy will be satisfied with a 5'9" guy.
Most will. Remember girls tend to go by personality before they go with looks.
That's what women say at least.
Pay more attention to what women do than what they say.
Then why bother even asking the question here if you don't believe women are truthful when they tell you what they want?
I probably could have stated it better and said "Women will let personality compensate what a man lacks in looks"
To an extent, yes. But yeah, if you're a guy, you do need to be a reasonable close match. In the example given, 5'9" isn't close to 6'4". And if you've ever read a lot of women's online profiles, they will clearly say "Do not message me if you are under 6'0". No exceptions."
I also think the means of introduction matters. Online, both sexes revert to their ideologue viewpoints. So the threshold one has to cross to get to earn a first date is higher. Women who are thin/athletic, who represent a smaller piece of the overall population (say 25%) probably receive about 80% of total messages sent in a given age bracket.0 -
I probably could have stated it better and said "Women will let personality compensate what a man lacks in looks"
To an extent, yes. But yeah, if you're a guy, you do need to be a reasonable close match. In the example given, 5'9" isn't close to 6'4". And if you've ever read a lot of women's online profiles, they will clearly say "Do not message me if you are under 6'0". No exceptions."
I also think the means of introduction matters. Online, both sexes revert to their ideologue viewpoints. So the threshold one has to cross to get to earn a first date is higher. Women who are thin/athletic, who represent a smaller piece of the overall population (say 25%) probably receive about 80% of total messages sent in a given age bracket.
But we aren't just talking about online dating here. This is more dating in general. When a girl meets a guy in person she doesn't bring out a tape measure to make sure he meets her height requirements.0
This discussion has been closed.