Second Chances?
Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
Do you believe in giving an ex a second chance? I am sure for some, it probably depends on what they did to become an ex...but in general--some have steadfast "no second chance" rule....I am the opposite--with the exception of two (the only 2 that I did the breaking up with) I have been asked to date again--my ex husband -we were on our 3rd go round when we got engaged. Should have learned...
Anyway, curious on how others feel about second chances in love?
Anyway, curious on how others feel about second chances in love?
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No. I feel that if it didn't work the first time, it's over, and I'm moving on. I've never gotten back/given second chances to any of my ex's and I don't have any regrets.0
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My ex came back around early in the summer, I posted in here about it... everyone said leave it alone, I didn't listen... they were right!!0
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Hmmm no ,nope not gonna happen. You borke up for a reason and unless that reason has magically disappeared then nothing has changed0
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Yes, you're right, it depends on the reason you broke up. As long as you're getting back on the basis that the reason has been resolved, then I dont see why not. You're in love with this guy? You already know his strengths and weaknesses? You accept him for the person he is?
Just dont get back with anyone with the hope they will change! :flowerforyou:0 -
It takes me a long, long time to be finished with someone, partner, friend, family member etc. But when I finally get there...all the possible love and respect is gone, along with patience and ability to forgive and forget. I am trying to be friends with my current ex...but other than that have not even maintained friendships. I couldn't do second chances.
Life is too short for love to be so hard.0 -
Exes are exes for a reason.
Mostly everything ends badly, otherwise it would not end.0 -
I agree that exes are exes for a reason. It also takes me a long time to come to that decision because I don't want to make the decision in haste. Once I decide it's time to walk out of a relationship, it's reached the point of no return. If he's calling it quits, I know it's for a reason and let it be.0
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Exes are exes for a reason.
Mostly everything ends badly, otherwise it would not end.0 -
For most of mine, I wouldn't give the time of day.....
But for one of them.....I'm a sucker. :ohwell:0 -
One of my exes cheated on me. I should have walked away but I was young and stupid. I gave her a 2nd chance and it didn't last. The trust was gone. Years later we remain friends. We're not close as we were before but we remain on good terms.
Another ex of mine simply didn't work out. Nothing negative, just the spark, the desire wasn't there so we mutually broke up. Still remain friends. I think it just depends. My 1st ex I'd never give a 2nd, or in this case, a 3rd chance. I can't trust her with my
ever again. The 2nd one, has a great personality, geeky, attractive, etc. etc. except 1 thing, she's a couch potato. Our lifestyles are currently too different for it to work out. 0 -
I wouldn't have my son if I didn't give XH a second chance. It's the 3rd chance that finally made me open my eyes.
Now, I don't think I would make that choice again, I learned my lesson0 -
No. This is not the land of second chances.0
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I concur with the above responses. Ex's are ex's for a reason.
I took one back and it was the worst year and a half of my ENTIRE life.....0 -
I stick to a general rule for life. I'll forgive people once, give them another chance. If they hurt me again, then they should make sure the door doesn't hit them on their way out. Having said that, both my exes were cheaters and they didn't change their spots, so no, I wouldnt take either of them back at all.
However, if the relationship ended because of distance or something like that, then it would probably be alright to break the 'exes are exes for a reason' rule IMHO. Guess it depends on the circumstances.0 -
This is a hard one.
In my past I have given 3 men second chances and all blew up in my face and were harder to get over the second time than the first. What I have learned is that you break up for a reason, your gut instinct told you something .... and unless you can change the ENTIRE relationship and not fall back into the old one, what really is the point? So my new rule is no second chances ever again.
Lots of relationship books though, say to give a second chance and if that doesn't work out then it's done and over..... If you can't make it work twice, you definately aren't 3, 4, 7 times.
Good luck.0 -
I gave a guy a second chance after a lousy first date. Worst mistake I made. Everything in my head was saying " he is bad news." However, I thought it was me who exaggerated. It was him...He showed his true colors AGAIN eventually. Use your head and not your heart. Intuition is the strongest tool you have!0
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There are so many different factors when it comes to situations like this. It often depends on why the breakup occurred, whether or not you believe the person has changed, or whether or not you have changed yourself. I try not to stick to the cliches like "an ex is an ex for a reason" and so on, because there really is no situation that is the same. There are as many ways to live and as many different types of relationships as there are people in this world.
I am a person who has given second, third, and fourth chances to people. I've had others do the same with me. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. It's a crapshoot. The only thing that you can do is follow your heart, and do what you feel is right for yourself.0 -
I've learned that if it didn't work out the first time....there's no reason it will work a second time.0
