LGBT+

Join

looking for trans friends

2»

Replies

  • littlebudgie
    littlebudgie Posts: 279 Member
    I just realized I never posted in this thread.

    24-year-old genderqueer person, generally leaning towards the masculine side of things, so I prefer he/him (thus my profile settings). Not on any hormones, but (slowly) saving up for top surgery.
  • tokataro
    tokataro Posts: 52 Member
    Have any of you guys postponed your transitions for weight loss reasons? I'm pretty sure now that I will want to transition at some point, but I'm skeptical about my ability to pass at this weight. The last thing I want to do is transition and find that I still hate my body. Am I crazy for putting this off till I at least get down to ~200lbs?
  • alexanderhoofie
    alexanderhoofie Posts: 9
    27, FTM. Add me! =)
  • tokataro
    tokataro Posts: 52 Member
    Crickets... none of you guys have any input on the whole transition before or after weight loss thing?
  • cmeiron
    cmeiron Posts: 1,599 Member
    Sorry you're not getting any feedback! I don't want to make assumptions about your transition plans, but I'm assuming you mean hormones and/or some surgery? Hormones will help redistribute body fat in a more masculine-looking way, and could also help with gaining muscle mass - I can't see either of those being a bad thing at any point in the weight loss process.
    As for surgery, I'm not planning any in the near future, but I think if I was in your shoes I'd want to keep focusing on reducing my weight, and increasing my fitness/muscle mass a bit before having top surgery. My understanding is that it's better for the procedure itself (in terms of anaesthetic, recovery, etc.), and I also think that your gut feeling about being happy with the aesthetics afterwards might be right. I don't know this for a fact, but I wonder if major changes in your weight after the surgery might affect how things look down the road - like, maybe it would be better to be closer to your goal/ideal, so that the surgery and aesthetics were planned/tailored for that body.
    From a passing perspective, it's hard to say - personally, now that I've lost fat not just from my chest (which deflated hugely, and first and quickly when I started to lose weight) but also from my hips/tummy, my overall physique is much more linear/less curvy, fits better in men's shirts and generally looks more passable/I'm much happier with it because it has something closer to the overall look I'm trying to achieve; in other words, the bottom had to start to match the top before things looked right, for me. I know I'm not in the same position as you and don't have the first-hand experience that others here have, but I've thought about this a lot and don't want to see you left hangin' out here :flowerforyou: Hope I'm not overstepping my bounds/talking out of line here!
  • tokataro
    tokataro Posts: 52 Member
    Thanks for the input. Yeah, I think I'm probably going to want hormones and top surgery, probably not bottom. Just don't want people to be weirded out by my voice changing, facial hair, etc. while I'm still clearly not passing due to fat distribution and whatnot.
  • UnwrappingCandy
    UnwrappingCandy Posts: 418 Member
    I am not trans, and I'm not as educated on trans-relevant issues as I probably should be. So, could someone please explain to me what it means to actually 'pass'? Is it about you meeting certain standards of gender you created in your own mind? Is it meeting gender stereotypes created by society? Is it physical and mental? I want to know everything. :flowerforyou:
  • NyxNine
    NyxNine Posts: 67 Member
    I am not trans, and I'm not as educated on trans-relevant issues as I probably should be. So, could someone please explain to me what it means to actually 'pass'? Is it about you meeting certain standards of gender you created in your own mind? Is it meeting gender stereotypes created by society? Is it physical and mental? I want to know everything. :flowerforyou:

    Passing is when random strangers believe you're whatever you want them to. So. Fitting society stereotypes. Pretty simple.
  • cmeiron
    cmeiron Posts: 1,599 Member
    I am not trans, and I'm not as educated on trans-relevant issues as I probably should be. So, could someone please explain to me what it means to actually 'pass'? Is it about you meeting certain standards of gender you created in your own mind? Is it meeting gender stereotypes created by society? Is it physical and mental? I want to know everything. :flowerforyou:

    Passing is when random strangers believe you're whatever you want them to. So. Fitting society stereotypes. Pretty simple.

    Just as an example to clarify for the PP, if you're FTM and people perceive you as male upon meeting you, then you're passing. Likewise, if someone is MTF and people perceive her as a woman, then she's passing.
  • alexanderhoofie
    alexanderhoofie Posts: 9
    Have any of you guys postponed your transitions for weight loss reasons? I'm pretty sure now that I will want to transition at some point, but I'm skeptical about my ability to pass at this weight. The last thing I want to do is transition and find that I still hate my body. Am I crazy for putting this off till I at least get down to ~200lbs?

    No, you're not crazy. In my experience, going on T actually helped me lose the weight. I'm not sure if it was because of an increased metabolism or because my mood improved (because of T, and because of a mood stabilizer I went on at the same time) keeping me from so much emotional eating.

    As for passing, your face and voice will likely change, and the fat will redistribute to the places males tend to carry weight, so that will happen in time. Everyone goes through a weird awkward "hello sir--er, um, ma'am--uh, sir?" phase though, regardless of weight.

    Hope I helped! =)

Categories