Keeping your focus on health in a new relationship
afv417
Posts: 466 Member
I know I can do this. I lost 62lbs in less than a year. Now that I have a bf I feel like I do good during the week, when I barely see him, but I have no cares in the world on the weekends when I'm with him, because I am so happy. I try to make the best decisions but I need to keep my focus. He is supportive of what I am trying to accomplish but I also appreciate that he doesn't nag me with: "are you sure you can eat that?" Ultimately it is my decision and I want to continue doing what I have been doing, on my own.
How do you manage to keep your focus in a relationship (or new changes in your life)?
How do you manage to keep your focus in a relationship (or new changes in your life)?
0
Replies
-
I've told myself that during the week if I keep under my maintenance calories and eat close to my macros (aka, getting enough protein, not overdoing carbs, etc), I can be more relaxed on weekends (which Saturday resulted in me eating way too many french fries and feeling awful the rest of the night). My BF and I live together and he's totally on board with me eating better, but when we do go out to eat (1-2 week maybe), I do let myself get what I want if I cook healthy the rest of the week.
Today I decided to eat donuts for breakfast, but lunch is salad and dinner is just chicken and broccoli. Because of the donuts, I won't have a beer after work like I typically do. I see it as a give and take.
Now, since meeting him and wanting to be with him I see myself having a hard time working out. That's what my 2013 focus is. I'm happy with the scale (I'm one of the few that made it through Christmas without a pound gained), but I know I could be fitter. After our move, I'm gonna take more time for me. I'm letting myself be relaxed in January since all of 2012 I was SOOO good.0 -
I've told myself that during the week if I keep under my maintenance calories and eat close to my macros (aka, getting enough protein, not overdoing carbs, etc), I can be more relaxed on weekends (which Saturday resulted in me eating way too many french fries and feeling awful the rest of the night). My BF and I live together and he's totally on board with me eating better, but when we do go out to eat (1-2 week maybe), I do let myself get what I want if I cook healthy the rest of the week.
Today I decided to eat donuts for breakfast, but lunch is salad and dinner is just chicken and broccoli. Because of the donuts, I won't have a beer after work like I typically do. I see it as a give and take.
Now, since meeting him and wanting to be with him I see myself having a hard time working out. That's what my 2013 focus is. I'm happy with the scale (I'm one of the few that made it through Christmas without a pound gained), but I know I could be fitter. After our move, I'm gonna take more time for me. I'm letting myself be relaxed in January since all of 2012 I was SOOO good.
That's helpful. Thanks
0 -
Because of the kids (he hasn't met mine yet), I only see him for about 2-3 meals a week. When we go out to dinner, I do my best to make healthy choices or eat a salad for lunch earlier in the day. When we stay in, it's harder. If I know he's cooking, I'll make sure to eat healthy early in the day (he doesn't believe in veggies, lol). If I'm cooking, I do cook to suit him (meat & potatos), but I also make sure veggies are in the menu. I'll put more veggies on my plate. I also cook with lower fat/sodium/etc ingredients.
We belong to the same gym. I haven't been going because of my knee and I hate going to the pool alone. Our joint resolution was to get back there and he's offered to be my "escort". So, hopefully that will help us both.0 -
Because of the kids (he hasn't met mine yet), I only see him for about 2-3 meals a week. When we go out to dinner, I do my best to make healthy choices or eat a salad for lunch earlier in the day. When we stay in, it's harder. If I know he's cooking, I'll make sure to eat healthy early in the day (he doesn't believe in veggies, lol). If I'm cooking, I do cook to suit him (meat & potatos), but I also make sure veggies are in the menu. I'll put more veggies on my plate. I also cook with lower fat/sodium/etc ingredients.
We belong to the same gym. I haven't been going because of my knee and I hate going to the pool alone. Our joint resolution was to get back there and he's offered to be my "escort". So, hopefully that will help us both.
It sounds like it works well for you both. I should be moving soon and I will be closer to him. Thankfully this will help because I can cook more often (and healthier). I will also have to change gyms and I am considering to join his gym and maybe we can start going together. When I first met him he was going around 3-4 days a week to loose a few pounds, and he too has slowed down. 0 -
It sounds like it works well for you both. I should be moving soon and I will be closer to him. Thankfully this will help because I can cook more often (and healthier). I will also have to change gyms and I am considering to join his gym and maybe we can start going together. When I first met him he was going around 3-4 days a week to loose a few pounds, and he too has slowed down.
I try, but it's hard. He's one that has to have sauce or gravy with EVERYTHING. It's just disgusting to me. But, I enjoy cooking for others so it's nice to be able to do that. And, I'll just say that we can both use the gym time.
0 -
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.0
-
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.
Agreed, but there is always an adjustment period when getting to know someone.0 -
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.
Yes. But I understand losing focus. I did. I found it easier to deal with the weight loss when I had no one else impacting my focus. And I'm not saying the BF coming into my life was a bad thing, but balancing it isn't easy. It's hard to be all in on being healthy and making a relationship work. It takes give and take. 1 person can't be all about themselves and sometimes weight loss/healthy lifestyle takes 100% focus.0 -
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.
Agreed, but there is always an adjustment period when getting to know someone.
Absolutely. We each had different schedules when we were single and now we are around each other more often so I am trying to still incorporate the gym time in between seeing him. I'd honestly love to start going with him. I'm pretty good during the week but if he were to call me to see me during the week I'm all about going to see him. The main reason is because I live an hour away and I stay with my parents while I'm waiting to close on my condo. Can't wait to be closer and see how I can re-adjust my schedule again. When I stay with him on weekends we go bike riding and I recently started taking his dog on a run with me. 0 -
I've told myself that during the week if I keep under my maintenance calories and eat close to my macros (aka, getting enough protein, not overdoing carbs, etc), I can be more relaxed on weekends (which Saturday resulted in me eating way too many french fries and feeling awful the rest of the night). My BF and I live together and he's totally on board with me eating better, but when we do go out to eat (1-2 week maybe), I do let myself get what I want if I cook healthy the rest of the week.
I agree with this.
Also, set new goals for yourself or keep working on your current ones. When you have a goal in place it gives you that motivation and drive to keep plugging away. Also make sure to keep up on exercise.
ETA: I schedule the gym like I schedule work, appts, kid's activities. If it is gym night, unless we have plans outside the house (ie a hockey game, movie,etc.) I am not available until my gym workout is done. If I didn't do that, I would be back at square one pretty darn fast.0 -
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.
Probably so with many other issues. However, with weight, a lot of people gain weight in relationships, because you are happy and stop caring about working out and eating right (because you want to be with that person and not off doing other things).0 -
I've had a really hard time with my weight being in a relationship. I gained back a lot of what I lost. I had someone to go to restaurants and summer festivals with and I ate stuff that I wouldn't normally. He orders appetizers etc. that I wouldn't otherwise. I've always been looser on weekends with my eating and I was still cooking healthy on weekdays but I just overindulged when we went out since I didn't go to restaurants frequently single. It's hard to balance especially when going out to eat is such a date activity and I cannot handle such temptation like bread and chips and he won't refuse them. I need to focus back on my food and find other things for us to go do but eat. Better planning I think for sure is needed.0
-
I've had a really hard time with my weight being in a relationship. I gained back a lot of what I lost. I had someone to go to restaurants and summer festivals with and I ate stuff that I wouldn't normally. He orders appetizers etc. that I wouldn't otherwise. I've always been looser on weekends with my eating and I was still cooking healthy on weekdays but I just overindulged when we went out since I didn't go to restaurants frequently single. It's hard to balance especially when going out to eat is such a date activity and I cannot handle such temptation like bread and chips and he won't refuse them. I need to focus back on my food and find other things for us to go do but eat. Better planning I think for sure is needed.
OH boy. You described me bit by bit... Yes better planning, starting now!0 -
If a relationship is functioning the right way, life is easier in a relationship than being single.
Probably so with many other issues. However, with weight, a lot of people gain weight in relationships, because you are happy and stop caring about working out and eating right (because you want to be with that person and not off doing other things).
Exactly!0 -
I think it's just harder to do in the beggining of a relationship, but if you make it through those stages you should be able to ROLL Tide.... or go on with your goals.0
