Anyone else feel 'abandoned' by your friends?

Amandajp79

I do! Not sure if its because I'm no longer drinking or that I go to bed earlier.....

I have seen my BF a total of three times since I have been pregnant. I'm 16 weeks! I am the only one who makes an effort. Is this an eye opener of what our 'friendship' was all about???

My husband is also working out of town during the week so loneliness is creeping up.

Any other ladies with this problem?

ehg87

I feel your pain! And I hate to tell you, for me it didn't get any better. Granted I got pregnant "accidently" when I was 20. I was in prime drinking days, bar hopping etc and had what I thought were a lot of "friends." But in actuality they were just drinking buddies apparently. When folks found out I was pregnant I lost approx 70% of my friend base right there, and then the other dwindled away as the pregnancy wore on. Ultimately I have no really close female friends anymore. I wound up moving a couple years later so it made staying in touch with anyone really difficult. So ultimately I have two that I stay in touch with via text and go out to eat with occasionally. Other than that it's just me, the hubs, the kids and family. I have a really great family so it definitely makes the friendless thing easier. The same thing happened with my hubs. He was a much bigger drinker/partier than I was, and had tons of friends. While I was pregnant his friends constantly tried to get him back to the bar, out to party etc. When they realized that he wasn't going to leave me at home to party they stopped trying. And by the time our son was born he didn't hear out of any of them save two.
Anyway hopefully it's different for you since you're older, & more settled in life than we were. Just sharing my experience!

sonnysmum

My high school best friend pretty much ditched me when I told her I was pregnant. My son is now 2 and she's never met him. Broke my heart at first but now am over it and realise that she wasn't the good friend I thought. I have since made some awesome mummy friends and couldn't be happier

jaimemariel

My husband has been working about 60 hours a week for the past two weeks, and will continue to this week. When I told one of my best lady friends I was pregnant, she seemed really happy for me over the phone, but in person was very standoffish. Some of her first words to me were "Well, I guess I need to find a new friend!" It was a total let down and now I'm keeping my distance from her. I've had lots of friends get pregnant in the past few years. We may not see each other as much but we are diligent about keeping in touch via phone, text, facebook whatever. I feel really hurt by her actions. I can totally relate.

Wickedmeowmer

y'alls friends stink! Luckily mine are still cool and we have great neighbors with a 1 year old and a fellow friend couple who are expecting along with us. I do think it just changes with the seasons of life though. A local mama's club (lame as though they may seem) might be a good idea to find some friends with a more common bond.

I'm excited to have single and parent friends though, variety = spice of life!

Shayztar

I lost some friends, and then subsequently made new friends who had more in common with me (read: babies). I am extremely lucky that one of my friends, who is childless and will remain that way, actually became closer with me during my first pregnancy. She was even in the room for the delivery of my second since she had become such an important support person in my life.

But yeah, I lost more than half of my other friends. Turns out being a parent can really cramp your "ladies in free before 11 pm" lifestyle. I say like everyone else, forget them. It hurts, but in the long run it's for the best. Can't force someone to love you or your baby. It's their loss, not yours. Besides, when your baby gets here, you will be SO busy you might not even notice.

Congrats on your new baby!

VelociMama

I lost a few along the way, and I had some drama with a couple who were not kid-friendly to begin with. I think it's normal for that to happen. I'm trying to make some friends now who have children. I feel like all my friends now who don't have children really don't quite "get" it. I've been so busy working that I haven't had much time to do that, but I'm sure I will once my baby comes and we get involved more with getting him out into the community.

You might want to try something like meetup.com where you can meet up with mommy groups or parent groups.

This is just the way life goes sometimes. People come in, and people go out especially with life-changing events like motherhood.

Jenny_Rose77

y'alls friends stink! Luckily mine are still cool and we have great neighbors with a 1 year old and a fellow friend couple who are expecting along with us. I do think it just changes with the seasons of life though. A local mama's club (lame as though they may seem) might be a good idea to find some friends with a more common bond.

I'm excited to have single and parent friends though, variety = spice of life!

^^This. Half of my friends already have children. Others are expecting right now. And the single ones are excited to play with baby. I am 35 though (I bet age has a ton to do with it)...so my going out and partying all night days were pretty much entirely behind me. Maybe 2 or 3 times a year we do this. And I imagine we still can...once I find a babysitter I trust enough.

I am also looking forward to meeting other friends in mommy and me groups...