Venting

mattie733

Being that I have no one that has the issues I do besides on here I am going to vent because most of you know how it feels.. and I am sorry if I am being mean or a cry baby but I must get this off of my chest before I burst!

I was married to the love of my life for about 6 years and we have known each other for 10 he helped raised the kids that I adopted when I was young. Once we got married we tried and tried to have kids and then I was diagnosed with PCOS.. Blew my world apart because I new the changes that had to happen before I could concieve and still may not happen. Well I pushed him away because I felt less than a woman and couldn't give him what every man wanted..As the years went by and I couldn't understand what was going on with my body and of course there was several other factors we got a divorce and we still are very good friends and of course he is involved with my children that I adopted...

So here is the part that is killing me or at least breaking my heart.... He called me last week with news.. He informed me that he had got a woman pregnant and that they had a son...My world crumbled because of my jealousy of course.. I am happy for him and sad for me.. I don't know how to deal with it and I feel like.. well I don't know what I feel like all I know is all I want to do is cry when I think about it. I know I shouldn't hang on to it but I think it is so freaking unfair that it has to be mee. I feel like I am in a slump.. with all of that and my other added stress I realized that I am an anxiety eater if there is such a thing... The more I have on my plate of life the more I want to eat.. then of course I feel bad for what I did and it makes it worse...
I am just in a slump and it turn around.. what do they say put your big girl pants on well I guess I will in a few more days..

thanks for listening..

LoyalAngel16

I know how you feel. I went through that for awhile. I am blessed with a wonderful stepson and my husband knew from the beginning that we may not have kids, but I struggled with it hard about 6 years ago. We have been married 12 years now. I am working on the weight in hopes that we may be able to have a child without fertility drugs. My husband would love to have a daughter, but would rather not lose me to complications. I am sure your friend isn't upset about the fact that you were never able to give him a child, just wanted to share his joy. I know it may be hard for the next couple of days, but just like I feel I will have a child one day, then I am sure you will. Just take it one day at a time.