Comparing myself to friends.

slimsummerr

This topic idea came to me after seeing my friends for a girly lunch and shopping today. Firstly we went to macdonalds, where my three best friends got large fries, milkshakes, cheese and chicken burgers and mcflurries, and once they got their food and found a table, being 'miss dieter' (I prefer healthy eating myself) as they call me I ran into subway and got the healthiest sandwich I could find (turkey and salad), met with their outbursts of 'you don't need to diet you're fine blahblah'. Unconsciously almost I found myself comparing my body with theirs whilst we ate. Firstly there's G, blonde, beautiful, a dancer and so very toned with a six pack. Theres M, studying fashion at university and so very conscious of her appearence, must be a size 6 (2 in US), tall, leggy, with dark curly hair down her back and wearing tiny shorts and opaque tights. Finally Z who's a size zero/four and I have to say honestly one of the skinniest things I have ever seen. And I mean that. We measured her thighs, they were the size of my wrists put together. And It just kills me how, apart from one, the others do no exercise whatsoever as they hate it. And theres me trying my hardest and they can get away with murder (or a few oily, fatty chips). I mean, I know its just genes, and they got the good ones. All their mums are in their fifties but could be in their thirties, they are tiny and were at our age to. The straight up and down type of body. My mum on the other hand is a size 16 (12) with the 'hourglass' figure, and I have been blessed (?) with that to. I don't want to compare myself to them, I just do it almost naturally, as we've all grown up together. Even when I was11/12, at my absolute skinniest, I was still a size bigger than them then. And it doesn't help them playfully squeezeing my fat muffin top and underarms calling me 'chubby' or 'padded'. And after all this, ALL THIS, when I say i want to lose XYZ they say how lovely shaped I am, 'the curvy one' I'm seriously considering changing my name to that. I am happily in a 3 1/2 year relationship with my childhood sweetheart, who I've known since I was five, who loves me as I am blahblah, but even that wont stop my comparing eyes.
After the meal, we went shopping and I had this LOVELY experience with them. They all went and got their skinny jeans to try on and shorts, and they went and got size 10 (6) skinny skinny jeans and forced me to try them on. Much to my dismay it was such an obvious struggle getting them on as they are a size too small and I couldn't fit them round my booty, and while they were laughing G piped up how they thought I was the same size as last year, seeing as they hadn't gained weight. I wanted to be swalled up it was ghastly. Horrendously ghastly.
I know this is such a long long entry,i would have made a blog but more people would read this, but i needed to get it off my chest, and you ladies are the best people I can think of! Does anyone else do this?
And at least I got some inspiration out of it - to fit in a 10, maybe even an 8 (i wish..) jeans by summer.
Wish me luck X!

towardthesunshine

You need to know that comparing yourself to others is a totally NORMAL thing. Everyone does it! My roommates are like your friends, thin and beautiful, and they don't do a THING. It can be really frustrating! As for your day today, BE PROUD OF YOURSELF that you made healthy choices. Seriously, what you did took a lot of guts and will power, and I probably couldn't do it myself. It sucks that your friends aren't very supportive. But you are so BRAVE for sharing your goals with them. None of my friends know about how I'm trying to lose about 20 pounds.

If the things they do really bother you, you should talk to them about it, very tastefully and tactfully of course! Just explain how you feel when they make comments, and ask for their support.. hey, maybe they will join the healthy bandwagon, too!

Please don't beat yourself up. Like I said, comparison is normal, but pay attention.. when it becomes an obsession, you need to take a step back and look at what YOU are doing and how far YOU have come and the choices YOU have made. I say this as someone who got so sucked into what everyone else looked like and have always felt so inadequate. It's not healthy; in fact, it's utterly draining.

You are strong, brave, and beautiful. Sure, they may have the "perfect bodies" but you work HARD for yours... and that's something no one take away from you.

xxash19

I understand how you feel, trust me. My best friend is the skinniest thing and I'm always comparing myself to her (or other skinny girls I know). There's only about a 20-25 pound difference between the two of us, but it seems like such a huge difference. She's way too lazy to work out and all she eats is junk food 24/7! Soda, candy, chips, fast food, you name it. Sometimes I find myself a little jealous of her for not gaining weight from all of it, because I know if I ate like that, I'd gain weight in a week!

Honestly, if I was in that situation, I probably would of just went along with whatever they were eating. So good for you for being so strong and making healthy choices!

pili90

Awww I've been in that same situation many times, where my skinny friends say nah you're fine, funny thing is they say that they are the ones who are fat...It is only natural to copare yourself, but that comparison should be “helpful” and not harsh on you… You should feel proud right now, you went for the healthy option, and when you get to be thin is going to be your accomplishment, not just genetics. So you will be healthy an capable of succeeding in everything, that beats a good family tree.
Soon those size 8 skinny jeans will fit, wait and see=)

chelazar88

You are doing great! Dont get discouraged. One thing that always made me feel better (and this may not be the case with you but ya never know) was that all those naturally skinny girls who eat junk food all day usually arent that strong. Unless someone is working out who knows maybe you can do twice as many push ups, or lunges!

Also one of my friends, L, she sounds like ur super skinny friend...my arms are MUCH bigger than her thighs...and while to someone else she may seem great, on the inside shes just as upset about her weight as I am with mine. She hates being so skinny and she eats like crazy..she'd give anything to weigh 20 lbs more. Even when she was eating Muscle Powder and Lifting Heavy weights to bulk up the best she could do was 117. And that made her sad...so you never know!

toodloo

I think we all do the same thing. My best friend is naturally really skinny, and it drives me crazy. The thing I realized recently is that when my skinny friends tell me that I'm beautiful, they really believe that! They're my friends and see me in the best light. I'm willing to bet yours are the same

It's taken me a long time, but I've finally accepted that my body type is just different from my friends. They can eat McDonald's ever day (literally) and stay a size 4, whereas if I eat 10 Doritos I gain 5 lbs. It's not fair, and it sucks, but it's life. I will say that when I hit my goal weight, I'll have earned it, and I'll appreciate it.

On top of that, I often go hiking with them. And although I'm probably a good 80 lbs more than my friends, when it comes to functional fitness we're on the same level. Just because they're skinny doesn't mean they're fit! So be proud of yourself for taking care of your body and valuing your health, have confidence in your inner beauty, and all the rest will come