Any advice for my daughter who is 13 and 5' 9". I am 5'11"
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mom22nteaching
Posts: 32 Member
I have a beautiful 5'9" 13 year old daughter. I am 5'11" and thought my height would prepare me for supporting a tall daughter. My mother is 5'4" and I was never really thought she understood me.
Now my daughter has hit her growing stride and says things. like " I can't believe you made me this tall"
8th grade is a tough grade to be tall when most boys are still 5th grade height.
Did anyone's mom say the perfect thing when you were growing up tall?
Luckily my daughter is one of those naturally skinny girls and doesn't have the weight problems I have.
Now my daughter has hit her growing stride and says things. like " I can't believe you made me this tall"
8th grade is a tough grade to be tall when most boys are still 5th grade height.
Did anyone's mom say the perfect thing when you were growing up tall?
Luckily my daughter is one of those naturally skinny girls and doesn't have the weight problems I have.
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Tell her that they will catch up to her soon! I was always taller than the boys until high school rolled around and they started growing out of control! And one of my bus drivers told me when I was young that some day I could be a model and that helped me a little.0
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Help her find a sport in which her height will help her excel.
My daughter was 6' tall at age 14. Through sheer luck, someone introduced her to rowing. She loved that sport and excelled in it. She has always said that her sport helped her survive high school - where she was taller than almost everyone else and where she didn't have a single date. (She grew to 6'4" in high school and became a national champion in rowing).
Rowing, basketball, volleyball -- all tall girl's sports. Swimming too. Not soccer!!!0 -
Yes, I have been stessing the model thing. Even thought of actually taking her but I know how cruel that profession can be. Thanks for the feedback!0
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great idea. She is interested in volleyball. Doesn't like basketball. I never would have thought that height helps in rowing. Thanks!0
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great idea. She is interested in volleyball. Doesn't like basketball. I never would have thought that height helps in rowing. Thanks!
Height is essential in rowing. The US women's team that just won Olympic gold in London has 8 tall women (5'10" - 6'4") plus 1 short cox.
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I am 6'2" and have been that tall since I was 13. I now have three daughters, the oldest is only 11 and not feeling too tall compared to her friends at this point, but this is a concern that I have thought a great deal about. I was lucky enough to have a tall mom at 5'10" who always made me feel special and beautiful at my height. My mom always told me to stand tall, shoulders back, boobs out and let everone else enjoy the view. Her words were very kind and supportive, but it was not until I had confidence in myself that they really hit home. Like a couple other posts advised - sports helped me and I have encouraged my girls to play sports as well. I excelled at Basketball and Volleyball and my girls have participated in everything from soccer to volleyball to basketball to their latest - gymnastics. I do not think that they have much of a future in gymnastics , but hey it is fun and a good workout
. My advise for dealing with piers who think there is such a thing as too tall is to just have fun with it and think about all of the awesome things that you can do when you are tall (your daughter can remind her piers of this - in a fun way of course) - There tons of cool clothes that tall girls can wear that just do not look good on short people, you always stand out in a croud and people remember you - this is especially helpful in the business world, if the need arises - you can intimidate people, the list goes on and on!!!! Good luck to you and your daughter. If you find anything that works particularly well - let me know as i will need it in a couple years. 0 -
I'm 5'9" and was that height when I was 13...then I stopped growing and the boys started growing! For about 2 years I was 'very tall' and there were a bunch of us in this boat. I'm 49 now and see many more tall girls than when I was growing up. Thirteen was the hardest age for me. I'm the shortest one in my family, but that didn't help me either. My mom also taught all of us to stand tall, just like kmwest55. Tall is good. Finding sports that your daughter likes is a great idea. I like clothes and it's true that tall women have lots of nice choices. I'm interested in hearing what you all tell your daughters - my little girl is tall for her age and I expect this will be a conversation I'll have w/ her too!0
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I'm 5'11'' and though I didn't hit my full height until about 16, but 12 I was already 5'10''. my mom is a good three inches shorter than me and lamented all the time that I hated sports because she could have used my height in her youth. I used to get stressed out and worried about being taller than my friends and all the boys. She told me one day that it didn't matter how tall I was, and if people couldn't get over that then ef them. I know that's easier said than done but honestly it's the only thing she could have said. Now I'm dating a short man (he's lucky to hit 5'4'') and get a lot of stares but what does it matter, really?
Being a young teen is hard. Height is just another thing. So one person is too tall, someone else has bad skin, someone else is anxious, it goes on and on.0 -
I was an unathletic 5'11'' at 13 years old. My mom was shorter and so was my older sister.
Encourage her and don't necessarily push sports. Leave it up to her. Thankfully now there are a lot of tall clothing stores and she can hopefully feel good in her clothing. I also used to get very annoyed when people would push modeling or say that to me. I was not very confident and comments like that embarrassed me.
I guess my advice it to just listen to her, be there and encourage her based on the person she is and not just because of her height. It doesn't define her and every time someone asked me (or asks me) if I play basketball it would make me cringe.
Someday she will be more comfortable in her own skin, it may just take a while. It is a tough age no matter what.0 -
I have been 5'11 since the 7th grade. I felt awkward about it too, but now I love it. It is a HUGE asset, professionally - I was just telling someone yesterday that as a brand new attorney at 25, I had a tough climb getting people to respect me professionally, but the fact that I stood taller than a lot of my adversaries really helped. It is harder to treat a woman like a little girl when she is a head taller than you. (And yes, I always wore heels to court!) I am really thankful to be tall. (Though I think people should stop treating grown women like little girls, but that's for another thread)0
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Tell her that men LOVE tall women!
At 5'9", I had height issues when I was a teen. I used to be able to eat everything and it would just fall right off, but I thought I was fat. I saw a cartoon recently that said "I wish I still had the body I had when I THOUGHT I was fat." :laugh:
Then, I discovered that when I got angry with my 5'4" mother, I could put her favorite pots and pans (she loved cooking) on the top shelf of the cabinets.
I had a bully I hadn't seen for about a year (before my growth spurt) come up to me and tell me she was going to kick my *kitten*. I stood up to my full frame and told her I'd like to see her try. She was only about 5'3". Yeah, she backed off. It was one of the highlights of my teen years. :bigsmile:
Also, when tall women walk into a room, they have presence. Tell your girl to be proud. :happy:0 -
My husband and I are both 6'1" and our three-year-old is already tall for her age. I was never into sports but had a coach hound me incessantly in high school to play basketball. I didn't want to and my parents did not encourage me at all--they wanted me to focus on academics.
Our little girl is tall. The women in my husband's family are average to short, so I don't think she'll be quite as tall as me. My husband encourages her in athletics (he regularly throws a ball with her) and I'm OK with that as long as she likes it. I also plan to teach her how to sew as my mom did so that she can make her own well-fitting clothes
My mom is 5'11" and always encouraged me to stand up straight and not slouch. Even now I still have good posture.0 -
My Mum also told me to be proud of my height - posture being the key...
"Shoulders back, boobs out!" was her mantra - and it worked for me.
Swimming is also great if you are taller. I was always the tallest in class (of the girls) at School until I went to work in a city and suddenly being tall was more normal for the girls and boys! And it's great at a concert, you can see above everyone!
And if she's money oriented - there are serveral studies saying that tall people earn more money than their shorter counterparts and get more respect. Here is one article http://www.livescience.com/5552-taller-people-earn-money.html Good luck!0 -
I was an unathletic 5'11'' at 13 years old. My mom was shorter and so was my older sister.
Encourage her and don't necessarily push sports. Leave it up to her. Thankfully now there are a lot of tall clothing stores and she can hopefully feel good in her clothing. I also used to get very annoyed when people would push modeling or say that to me. I was not very confident and comments like that embarrassed me.
I guess my advice it to just listen to her, be there and encourage her based on the person she is and not just because of her height. It doesn't define her and every time someone asked me (or asks me) if I play basketball it would make me cringe.
Someday she will be more comfortable in her own skin, it may just take a while. It is a tough age no matter what.
This is a great bit of advice! :-)0 -
Coming from someone who is 6'0" and for most of my life was the tall, fat girl...
Tell your daughter to wear her height proudly and always carry herself with confidence! She may feel like she's Gulliver caught in the land of Lilliput until she reaches high school, but she needs to know that it's OK. One day all the other girls will be wishing they were tall, beautiful "Amazon women" and will be sooo jealous!
While my mom isn't short (5'9"), I credit my dad with most of my height (6'5"), who always jokingly told me before going to school each day, "remember...don't play with the short kids, they're genetically inferior." As twisted as that is, it always helped me keep my height in perspective and allowed me to feel good about being so different, especially at that age. Plus it didn't keep me from befriending my BFF, who is only 5'2".
And she shouldn't give up on cute clothing or shoes as she gets taller...free shipping and returns from Zappos.com, and great clothing options from Long Elegant Legs. :-)0 -
My mom and dad always told us that tall people were lucky...we can weigh more and look skinny...reach things, see over other people, and look confident. They both wore their height with pride which helped me.0
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I am 6'2" and have been that tall since I was 13. I now have three daughters, the oldest is only 11 and not feeling too tall compared to her friends at this point, but this is a concern that I have thought a great deal about. I was lucky enough to have a tall mom at 5'10" who always made me feel special and beautiful at my height. My mom always told me to stand tall, shoulders back, boobs out and let everone else enjoy the view. Her words were very kind and supportive, but it was not until I had confidence in myself that they really hit home. Like a couple other posts advised - sports helped me and I have encouraged my girls to play sports as well. I excelled at Basketball and Volleyball and my girls have participated in everything from soccer to volleyball to basketball to their latest - gymnastics. I do not think that they have much of a future in gymnastics , but hey it is fun and a good workout. My advise for dealing with piers who think there is such a thing as too tall is to just have fun with it and think about all of the awesome things that you can do when you are tall (your daughter can remind her piers of this - in a fun way of course) - There tons of cool clothes that tall girls can wear that just do not look good on short people, you always stand out in a croud and people remember you - this is especially helpful in the business world, if the need arises - you can intimidate people, the list goes on and on!!!! Good luck to you and your daughter. If you find anything that works particularly well - let me know as i will need it in a couple years.
Piers are what you tie your boats to. Peers are your classmates. I love your comments about the clothes. That is so true us tall girls can wear almost everything. Encoutage her to be a trendsetter. Find something she excels at even if it is not sports. I.e. journalism or photography0 -
I grew up in a super small Texas town. The boys all liked the tiny petite cheerleaders. It was depressing. I excelled at volleyball (was all State even!) but I was still totally left out of the dating scene. I will always remember the first time I walked across a college campus and someone whistled at my long legs. I was shocked!! Some men LIKE long legs...a whole new world!
If she is 13 and hasn't ever played volleyball, life will be rough. Girls start playing high dollar club volleyball at a very very early age at least in this state. It would be doubtful she could catch up unless she is uber competitive, athletic and you are willing to put in the $$ for private lessons and clinics.
As for how to encourage her, help her find brands that fit her body good. Some of the stores for teenagers around here are made for teeny tiny girls and it's just depressing to be tall and not able to fit into those clothes. Help her find the longer shirts and then the jean and short styles that emphasize her leanness and her legs...it will go a long way towards helping her self-confidence.0 -
My 13 year old is in 7th grade. She is a 1/2" shy of 6'0" feet and weighs only 118 lbs. Tall and very thin. She is a competitive swimmer and is in the pool 5-6 days a week for 60-90 minutes each day. I honestly think that swimming has given her more confidence than anything. She stands tall, and is used to walking around in a racing/training suit all the time - which doesn't cover a lot - so is comfortable with her body.
School... that is another thing. She towers over the other kids. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't say "Wow you're tall," " do you play basketball?" "What do you eat?" "What do they feed you?" It bothers her, but she handles it well.
I don't feel that I had that self confidence or enough positive reinforcement growing up. Low self-esteem and poor posture. I do my best to show my daughter all of the benefits of being tall etc. Hopefully I haven't messed her up too much in life. We'll see one day when she is an adult.
Oh, wanted to add, make sure you always keep her in well fitting clothes. That will do wonders. I always hated when my pants were too short growing up and people would ask me if I was waiting for a flood.0 -
My daughter is 5'8 or so at 14. Im 5'10 so thinking she will pass me. I have always embraced my height no matter what shape. I wear heels and sometimes I hit 6'+. I encourage her to be confident in her height as well. Properly fitting clothes as someone said. I don't push her towards sports though, I was pushed into basketball and track by coaches and teachers and I enjoyed them but they weren't my passion and I resented being forced just because I was taller. I let her pick the activities she likes and just try to instill some pride in her and her size. :-) boys are always asking her how old she is or for her phone number but so far so good, she is more interested in music and modeling so we haven't had any trouble but I know its coming lol0
