Need Help

Amandarae119

Well this may be the first time I am actually admitting I have a binge eating problem. I have been binging since I was a teenager. Of course back then I was a swimmer for my high school and had limited access to food until I got my own car and that is when it really started with fast food. I went off to college and did the same there however I was no longer swimming and started to gain weight. I have always had an unhealthy view of my self. In high school I was 5'6' 140lbs and very fit however in my mind I was 500 lbs and was always "trying" to loose weight. In college I had more freedom to eat what I wanted and would love it when my roomates all had class so I could eat alone. Then I would feel depressed and disgusted with what I ate. Then the cycle would start over again. I would even skip class just to be alone to eat. Eating until my stomach hurt. Then I realized I could make my self throw up to alleviate that pain in my stomach and that made it worse because then I would just eat more. I left college because I was not ready for college and went through a break up that I could not handle moved back in with my parents and living with them my car was my best friend because I would eat there or sneak extra food in and eat it in my room hiding the wrappers or boxes only to have them found a few times but my parents didn't understand. I moved out again and started working in restaurants and started to loose some of the weight I put on but only because I changed my binge eating to binge drinking. Then I got pregnant and for me that was a huge excuse to binge eat in the public because I was pregnant. I gained about 90lbs in my pregnancy. I lost 60 of it once I had my son. I was then at 240 lbs. To add to the stress of having a baby I was a single mom living with my parents and then I had two enlarged discs and had to have back surgery. I could not care for my son for 3 months and was told I need to get my weight under control. I really tried with weight watchers and exercising and would do good for a little while then back to binging. I joined myfitnesspal in maybe August this year and stuck to it for 2 months loosing 20 lbs and a lot of inches and really getting in shape, but of course my boyfriend broke up with me and I was back to my crazy eating. It has now gotten was out of control I just keep gaining and gaining I am at my biggest right now 320 lbs and mortified at myself, disgusted with how I have gotten.I am also embarrassed by this which is why I am here talking about. I have never ever told anyone that I do this, but I know I need help. What do I do? How do I start? How do I get over this?


I am on anti depressants now and see a psychiatrist once every 3 months but only to get my anti depressants refilled.

SarahRea32

Hi, I would recommend that you either see a councillor much more often for cognitive behavioural therapy (which I did weekly for 6 months) and/or get hold of the book "Overcoming bulimia nervosa and binge-eating" by Peter Cooper. These two things are the best things I've ever done for myself. It has taken more than 12 months for me to get to the point that it is more normal not to binge than to binge. I occasionally have a period where I do, but before I would consistently binge most days. The key is for a while to stop focussing on losing weight and instead figure out why you eat what you eat in the amounts you do. This is achieved by filling out a food/mood diary, where everything you eat you write down and you write down what was going on, where you were, what you were feeling and even how hungry you were. You figure out that your binges are initiated either by a trigger place, person, feeling or even eating a particular food or slightly more food than you had planned. Once you figure out what your binge triggers are you implement a food plan of regular meals and snacks and don't eat outside of them. If you find you want to binge outside of these times you have to ask yourself what is going on here? I am not hungry because I just ate, or I'm due to eat in an hour so food isn't the issue here - what is?? Anti-depressants should help you get this under control, and once you have got to know yourself a bit better you could think about coming off them - make sure you do with doctors advice! Cold turkey is nasty. Hope you are doing ok. Sarah