Men = chicken?
Jennifer2387
Posts: 957 Member
I have recently joined the online dating world .. I live in a teeny tiny town without a lot of dating prospects.
Every single day I have had men message me, wink at me, favorite me, message me again .. and again .. even though I have never responded. I have a list of 65 men who put me in the "wants to date me chategory".
I have put up every different pic I could think of so they could see exactly who they were getting. Curly hair, straight hair, pony tail, baseball hat, body shots, etc.
WTF. Where are all these men in real life?? Could it be that men just don't have the guts to come up to me in person, but when they are SURE that I want to date they then can say hey? I even had one man tell me that he has seen me at my job and thought I was absolutely beautiful but didn't have the courage to talk to me. What gives. Are you men all chicken?
Every single day I have had men message me, wink at me, favorite me, message me again .. and again .. even though I have never responded. I have a list of 65 men who put me in the "wants to date me chategory".
I have put up every different pic I could think of so they could see exactly who they were getting. Curly hair, straight hair, pony tail, baseball hat, body shots, etc.
WTF. Where are all these men in real life?? Could it be that men just don't have the guts to come up to me in person, but when they are SURE that I want to date they then can say hey? I even had one man tell me that he has seen me at my job and thought I was absolutely beautiful but didn't have the courage to talk to me. What gives. Are you men all chicken?
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Everyone is cooler online0
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Everyone is cooler online
Apparently, because they aren't so cool in person when they can't even say hi to a girl.0 -
Everyone is cooler online
I agree with this.0 -
Everyone is cooler online
So much cooler online that they made a song about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE6iAjEv9dQ 0 -
Everyone is cooler online
I agree with this.
How many "packs" do you have going on there D?0 -
You'd think they're creepy if they did it in person (these are men you said you aren't interested, remember?).
Maybe you aren't like this, but a lot of women I know would get their jollies by rejecting them in person and then proceed to cut them up w/ their friends afterwards.
Online saves them the embarrassment, so they can get a tad more brazen behind the compute screen.0 -
Everyone is cooler online
I agree with this.
How many "packs" do you have going on there D?
I have 8 on my stomach and a couple 6-packs in the fridge, so about 20 :laugh:0 -
Online saves them the embarrassment, so they can get a tad more brazen behind the compute screen.
I agree with this. It's easier to send messages to a few women/like some profiles and see if there's a response instead of investing a lot of time in pursuing a woman and then being rejected to the face. Same thing for women online...easier for a man to just not respond to your message than to have him tell you in person that he's not interested for whatever reasons.0 -
Maybe the majority of online dating male breed is a different type of person. Perhaps they like a more direct woman?0
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Had a similar discussion last night with my 'Flirtationship' friend. We had been talking about my ex (there was drama there last night... uggh) and asked how we met. I admitted that every date I have ever had came online... that at some point, you stop flirting in real life when it NEVER pans out... and just go with what works.
He then told me that he could guarantee there are men from my day to day life (past and present) who fantasize about me, but are too scared/intimidated to every say or do anything about it. He followed it up by telling me that I should try to be less conservative in public... that the men are there, they are interested... they're just too prideful to be rejected.
So... there's your culprit, folks. The reason we are all single comes down to: Pride.
Eh... it's a theory anyway.0 -
Keep in mind that online dating is a casting call for two people who have just held up a sign saying "Looking for dating/relationship".
Real life is not so clearly open as to intent with chance meetings,so to approach a person with no idea their current relationship status,possible chance of it being appreciated and then farther actually returned is going to create a thought process that a dating website does not have or even need.0 -
Agreed.Online saves them the embarrassment, so they can get a tad more brazen behind the compute screen.
I agree with this. It's easier to send messages to a few women/like some profiles and see if there's a response instead of investing a lot of time in pursuing a woman and then being rejected to the face. Same thing for women online...easier for a man to just not respond to your message than to have him tell you in person that he's not interested for whatever reasons.0 -
Maybe you aren't like this, but a lot of women I know would get their jollies by rejecting them in person and then proceed to cut them up w/ their friends afterwards.
Yes, there are plenty of women like this.0 -
Maybe you aren't like this, but a lot of women I know would get their jollies by rejecting them in person and then proceed to cut them up w/ their friends afterwards.
Yes, there are plenty of women like this.
Not that I particularly care for this type of lady, but isn't this part of the mating game? Isn't it our job (as the one approaching someone) to stand out of the crowd and do our little dance and show our plummage?0 -
but isn't this part of the mating game? Isn't it our job (as the one approaching someone) to stand out of the crowd and do our little dance and show our plummage?
EXACTLY! What the heck happened to the MEN. I don't think I give out the evil come near me and I will eat your face off vibe!0 -
but isn't this part of the mating game? Isn't it our job (as the one approaching someone) to stand out of the crowd and do our little dance and show our plummage?
EXACTLY! What the heck happened to the MEN. I don't think I give out the evil come near me and I will eat your face off vibe!
I said "as the one approaching". I have no problem approaching a lady, but I happen to love agressive women that will approach me.
As for what happened to that type of man, perhaps your body language is sending off a different signal than what you're intending to send off? I know I had to change my body language because I was closing myself off to open communication.0 -
Is the avatar too much?
but isn't this part of the mating game? Isn't it our job (as the one approaching someone) to stand out of the crowd and do our little dance and show our plummage?
EXACTLY! What the heck happened to the MEN. I don't think I give out the evil come near me and I will eat your face off vibe!
Normal men irl are very insecure, online you can put up a crazy pic and that is you! No insecurity or fear of rejection? Just a thought!0 -
Nobody calls me chicken :mad:
But seriously...yes. The majority of people online find it difficult to approach people in real life, that's why they're looking for dates online instead of the local supermarket.
And why does this have to be about men? MOST women never..ever approach men...ever. And then they complain about being single. Those who live in glass houses...0 -
Personally, I don't really like women who are "waiting for men". I don't go towards these women.
EXACTLY! What the heck happened to the MEN. I don't think I give out the evil come near me and I will eat your face off vibe!but isn't this part of the mating game? Isn't it our job (as the one approaching someone) to stand out of the crowd and do our little dance and show our plummage?
This is one of my major red flags, actually... In a few words, for me it means the girl is going to be boring and annoying.
With this (passive) behaviour in the early stage, I expect the girl to be very passive in the future relationship (not a very fun person, never organising something crazy) and also very demanding (as I would be the "entertainer", the girl would always turn to me and asks "what should we do now?" and "say something fun").
I feel a woman like this would drag me down.0 -
In all fairness traditionally men are supposed to do the approaching after recieving subtle hints like flirty eyes, touches, flirty conversation etc... Disney has helped propell traditional social behavior, and most of us grew up loving Disney.
When a man approaches a girl and just says something nice.. especially if it is not to date her or get in her pants, that is very flattering.0 -
I approach a man if I'm interested. I just don't have it in me to keep it to myself for very long.
I've also been turned down before too. I'm sure a couple of those guys got their jollies by gossiping with their "brahs" about how they are such hot **** girls come to them and they have to turn them down.
I don't give a *kitten*. If a person is so pathetic that they have to ridicule others for something so perfectly innocent as APPROACHING then they've got bigger things in their life to worry and I consider it a bullet dodged. Who wants that?
On the same note, if you avoid approaching someone you are interested in because you are worried that *GASP* a stranger might make a snide comment to other *GASP* strangers? BAWKBAWKBAWKBAWWWWWWWK
. Have fun with that paradox. 0 -
I have recently joined the online dating world .. I live in a teeny tiny town without a lot of dating prospects.
Every single day I have had men message me, wink at me, favorite me, message me again .. and again .. even though I have never responded. I have a list of 65 men who put me in the "wants to date me chategory".
I have put up every different pic I could think of so they could see exactly who they were getting. Curly hair, straight hair, pony tail, baseball hat, body shots, etc.
WTF. Where are all these men in real life?? Could it be that men just don't have the guts to come up to me in person, but when they are SURE that I want to date they then can say hey? I even had one man tell me that he has seen me at my job and thought I was absolutely beautiful but didn't have the courage to talk to me. What gives. Are you men all chicken?
Why don't you have the "guts" to go talk to them.
/thread
Edit: inb4 gender roles0 -
[/quote]
Personally, I don't really like women who are "waiting for men". I don't go towards these women.
This is one of my major red flags, actually... In a few words, for me it means the girl is going to be boring and annoying.
With this (passive) behaviour in the early stage, I expect the girl to be very passive in the future relationship (not a very fun person, never organising something crazy) and also very demanding (as I would be the "entertainer", the girl would always turn to me and asks "what should we do now?" and "say something fun").
I feel a woman like this would drag me down.
[/quote]
Sad for you! Judging people that you have never spoken too seems like maybe someone needs a little more attention than he is willing to give.0 -
I have recently joined the online dating world .. I live in a teeny tiny town without a lot of dating prospects.
Every single day I have had men message me, wink at me, favorite me, message me again .. and again .. even though I have never responded. I have a list of 65 men who put me in the "wants to date me chategory".
I have put up every different pic I could think of so they could see exactly who they were getting. Curly hair, straight hair, pony tail, baseball hat, body shots, etc.
WTF. Where are all these men in real life?? Could it be that men just don't have the guts to come up to me in person, but when they are SURE that I want to date they then can say hey? I even had one man tell me that he has seen me at my job and thought I was absolutely beautiful but didn't have the courage to talk to me. What gives. Are you men all chicken?
Why don't you have the "guts" to go talk to them.
/thread
Edit: inb4 gender roles
She didn't say whether or not she approached. She was specifically referencing men who admit they are too chicken to approach.0 -
this topic is horse****. If you are getting what you want, maybe you should look at what you are doing instead of what others aren't doing.0
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Well... sad maybe, but I have to make a choice somehow.Sad for you! Judging people that you have never spoken too seems like maybe someone needs a little more attention than he is willing to give.
Unfortunately for these people I have never spoken to, there are too many people on this planet for me to speak to all of them, so if I don't receive any positive/obvious signals they will stay in their corner.
As far as I'm aware, they are fine with that.0 -
I have recently joined the online dating world .. I live in a teeny tiny town without a lot of dating prospects.
Every single day I have had men message me, wink at me, favorite me, message me again .. and again .. even though I have never responded. I have a list of 65 men who put me in the "wants to date me chategory".
I have put up every different pic I could think of so they could see exactly who they were getting. Curly hair, straight hair, pony tail, baseball hat, body shots, etc.
WTF. Where are all these men in real life?? Could it be that men just don't have the guts to come up to me in person, but when they are SURE that I want to date they then can say hey? I even had one man tell me that he has seen me at my job and thought I was absolutely beautiful but didn't have the courage to talk to me. What gives. Are you men all chicken?
Two big factor in all of this are time and easy access to women. It only takes 2 minutes to shoot off a decent e-mail and there are a ton of chics that merely a click away. Time and access.
This is also why so many men find it easy to cheat online. They can mass e-mail a bunch of women hope for the best.
Side note: Good topic Jen. Much more entertaining than your "What's your favorite song" or "I'm feeling Twirly" posts 0 -
Personally, I don't really like women who are "waiting for men". I don't go towards these women.
This is one of my major red flags, actually... In a few words, for me it means the girl is going to be boring and annoying.
With this (passive) behaviour in the early stage, I expect the girl to be very passive in the future relationship (not a very fun person, never organising something crazy) and also very demanding (as I would be the "entertainer", the girl would always turn to me and asks "what should we do now?" and "say something fun").
I feel a woman like this would drag me down.
Ha... this is funny. I happen to be a flirtbag and if someone flirts back? Great. If not, no big deal.
But I am one that still has an old fashioned sense of "romance" in my mind and I want the guy to approach.
Does that mean I'm perhaps quiet when you first meet me? Maybe.
Does it mean I'm passive and boooooooooooooring?
Ha ha ha NO. Total opposite, bud.
Me thinks you're missing out on a lot of cool chicks, brah.
Edited to add: BWAAAAK!
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Insecurity from both sexes leads to a lot of missed opportunities. Who knows you approach someone not expecting anything just being nice may lead to something great. Going out of your comfort zone might actually help make freinds and for those with friends it may help get you out of the friend zone. if someone is interesting ( looks or personality) can't hurt to give them a chance. Who knows you may end up enjoying it.0
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BAWKBAWKBAWKBAWWWWWWWK.0
