submissive men

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4themoney
4themoney Posts: 797 Member
anyone have any thoughts or feelings on men that are submissive??

getting involved with a submissive man = good idea? bad idea?
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  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    I think it depends on how submissive the woman is. I think you need at least one person that has a dominate personality in a relationship. Two submissives would never get anything done.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I prefer "easy going". They stick to their guns on some things that are important to them, but for most things don't care/don't have a preference. So not really dominant or submissive?

    I would prefer him to take the reins sexually about 80% of the time.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    Nope , doesn't work for me. I run over him like he is a doormat or i pull back so far not so as not to run him over that I lose myself......Can't do it again lol
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    Doesn't work for me personally. I don't want to think I can get away with too much *kitten*... and I need to be held accountable/responsible. I have a hard time making decisions and being the boss. Also...I fear I wouldn't appreciate the softer side to my partner and might eventually end up unattracted to him and either bully or completely overwhelm him.

    Yeah. As much as I hate that I do it... I uphold gender roles that suit my purpose and personality.
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    I couldn't do it, personally.


    I'd probably hurt the poor fella.......
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    No, I've tried dating a couple really nice guys that were submissive. Lasted about 2 dates each. It just felt like I was taking care of another child and I certainly don't need that.

    I don't necessarily need a dominant man, but someone that will treat me with mutual respect. I'm fiercely independent, so he'll know how to pull me back in when needed.
  • kerrymh
    kerrymh Posts: 912 Member
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    No, I've tried dating a couple really nice guys that were submissive. Lasted about 2 dates each. It just felt like I was taking care of another child and I certainly don't need that.

    I don't necessarily need a dominant man, but someone that will treat me with mutual respect. I'm fiercely independent, so he'll know how to pull me back in when needed.

    Couldn't have said it better myself..although in the bedroom...I would like alittle more dominant.
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
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    No, I've tried dating a couple really nice guys that were submissive. Lasted about 2 dates each. It just felt like I was taking care of another child and I certainly don't need that.

    I don't necessarily need a dominant man, but someone that will treat me with mutual respect. I'm fiercely independent, so he'll know how to pull me back in when needed.

    this is what i'm kinda worried about..... taking care of another child. though, the thought of getting my way like 100% of the time sounds pretty nice.......
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    No, I've tried dating a couple really nice guys that were submissive. Lasted about 2 dates each. It just felt like I was taking care of another child and I certainly don't need that.

    I don't necessarily need a dominant man, but someone that will treat me with mutual respect. I'm fiercely independent, so he'll know how to pull me back in when needed.

    Couldn't have said it better myself..although in the bedroom...I would like alittle more dominant.

    Oh...bedroom's a different story. He can dominate all he likes. :wink:
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Not for me either. I'm all for equality. A veritable mix of someone who doesnt give me *kitten* and doesnt take my *kitten* either!! :bigsmile:
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??

    wouldn't this be the opposite of him being submissive? because I would have to hold something of his..... and that would not be him submitting that would be ME submitting.

    i'm thinking more along the lines of i need tampons and he has to go get them.
    and i want to go to a certain restaurant and he has to pay
    and i get my massage at the end of the day

    and i get to tell him how i want things done in bed and he just does them ;-)
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    Submissive in the bedroom yes, slightly submissive out of the bedroom, but submissive ALL the time. No
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??

    wouldn't this be the opposite of him being submissive? because I would have to hold something of his..... and that would not be him submitting that would be ME submitting.

    i'm thinking more along the lines of i need tampons and he has to go get them.
    and i want to go to a certain restaurant and he has to pay
    and i get my massage at the end of the day

    and i get to tell him how i want things done in bed and he just does them ;-)

    Ha! Any guy is willing to do that stuff, however you won't see them again after they get laid.... POOF!
  • slap1225
    slap1225 Posts: 487 Member
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??

    wouldn't this be the opposite of him being submissive? because I would have to hold something of his..... and that would not be him submitting that would be ME submitting.

    i'm thinking more along the lines of i need tampons and he has to go get them.
    and i want to go to a certain restaurant and he has to pay
    and i get my massage at the end of the day

    and i get to tell him how i want things done in bed and he just does them ;-)

    Ha! Any guy is willing to do that stuff, however you won't see them again after they get laid.... POOF!

    Not entirely true he may just need a dominant partner.
    Personally I want a man that is confident enough to disagree with me and will challenge me often. But he also has to be sensitive enough to know when he needs to lay off!
    Submissive men are boring. But control freaks are scary! Somewhere in the middle just to keep things interesting would be ideal.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    Hell no.

    I am very meek so I need a man who is the opposite of that.

    I agree in the ying-yang. No two submissives or two dominants together. Doesn't work.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
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    SL isn't necessarily submissive but he is very easy going. But he is also very stubborn to make decisions, lol, so he's kind of dominant in that respect a little. He definitely doesn't let anyone walk all over him, but he is a kind soul so if he can make a little wiggle room he will. :smile:
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    I think it all comes down to... do you want to hold his purse while he uses the restroom??

    wouldn't this be the opposite of him being submissive? because I would have to hold something of his..... and that would not be him submitting that would be ME submitting.

    i'm thinking more along the lines of i need tampons and he has to go get them.
    and i want to go to a certain restaurant and he has to pay
    and i get my massage at the end of the day

    and i get to tell him how i want things done in bed and he just does them ;-)

    Ha! Any guy is willing to do that stuff, however you won't see them again after they get laid.... POOF!

    Oh honey.... soooooooo not true if you do 'im right.......

    :bigsmile:
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
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    Both dominant and submissive men are super scary to me. I dated someone who appeared to be a submissive type, but he wasn't at all. He just wasn't invested in things other people thought were important, and the disengagement looked like submission.

    Extremes just aren't healthy, and mental/emotional prostration is probably one of the ugliest things I can imagine. Yuck.

    Sex is something else, though.