Whaddya give a MAN for Valentines Day (long distance)?
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I don't think I ever did anything on v-day except one year I broke up with the guy I was dating like a week before v-day and it was somehow decided that he would take me out to dinner to my favorite restaurant. I'm pretty sure it was his idea. So we dressed up and he took me to dinner even though we weren't together. Odd, but it was nice. Other than that I kind of gloss over v-day because flowers or any other nice gesture from a significant other is always welcome throughout the year. I feel the same way about giving to the man I'm with. I'll think of something I don't often do and surprise him whenever. I agree with others...being direct about what you want.0
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Here's a funny twist to my situation. BB and I had a bit of a blow-up the other week (my fault, admittedly) and when we didn't speak for a couple days (after two months of hour-long nightly phone calls plus daily texts and emails) I thought we were done. We're "back on" so it's all good, but I'd heard that holidays like V-day are a good time to dump someone so you aren't obligated to buy anything, and I was worried he was playing that game.
When the break up between my ex and I occurred the week after Thanksgiving, I had several guy friends suggest that that was exactly the reason-so that he did not have to worry about exchanging Christmas gifts...........I don't think that was it, but it was interesting that the guy friends came up with a reason...............
It's actually not all that uncommon. I've heard the same thing from various guys about Valentine's Day, Christmas & birthdays. I'll admit that I think the same thoughts if I'm in a serious relationship with someone around those days.
But, Janie... I wouldn't worry about it.
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Im not rebelling against the commercialism per se. The commercialism is garbage, yes, but it is in your face and I can choose to partake or not partake. I am (on my soapbox) rebelling at the men and women who think because we are told today is V Day we need to do something special. If you love someone why not do something special because its Tuesday. Or why not do something special just because she deserves it for putting up with your **** and making you happy.
So I rebel because so much of society says oh its V Day you must do something special for someone because we have been trained to believe this blah blah blah.
Oh and a word of advice to the ladies....V Day (well known amongst single men) is the perfect night to go find and seduce a female...Go out anywhere on V Day and notice there are plenty of women out with no bf's all contemplating why dont I have a bf etc etc etc....and this leads to bad decisions on their part which often ends up with them waking in some strange mans bed.
There is my word of caution for all of you!
It's a school night, I'll be tucked up in bed with my urangatang!!! :laugh:
Actually, I agree it's all nonsense! I think we are made to participate though, just because all couples do, unless they agree not to.
I remember when I was with my LTex I spent the day driving back from an away match (football) at Liverpool (about 4 hour drive away) with my best friend John! My ex had cooked dinner, flowers etc, but I didnt get home till about 11pm!! He was NOT happy!!
I apologised tho, with a striptease or something........:bigsmile:0 -
I was going to say that V Day is crappy and commercial and all, as Will said...
But then on the other hand, when you're bad at finding small gifts for your partner and expressing your feelings regularly then V Day is probably a good occasion of doing so. As JJ is saying, it's nice to have something sometimes. So... It's for people like me! :ohwell:
And yes, like a lot of guys I find V Day is annoying.0 -
I tell anyone I'm dating that they are simply not allowed to buy me flowers or chocolate or anything traditional (commercial) on Valentine's day. It feels forced and obligatory. I do however, request that it be the one time in a year where a mushy card complete with original thoughts and declaration of feelings is given.
I love romance..I even like flowers..I just don't want it on that day, just because everyone else is doing it.
Based on Will's advice..perhaps this year I'll hit a bar.
Sigh.0 -
I'm so glad you asked this question because I've been struggling with the same thing! (Although, he might just get S&BJ.) If I bought some new lingerie for the occasion, would that be considered a gift for him or me? LOL.hehe...after over a decade of getting nothing I sooooooo want the flowers and balloons at work!
Word to this. I don't care how stupid and shallow I sound, it's been such a long time since I've gotten flowers at work on V-Day that I am actually looking forward to it this year. It gets old being practically the only woman in the entire office without a dozen roses on her desk on V-Day. I think boyfriend is stoked to send them, though. He's already made dinner reservations also. So, obviously I have to come up with something for him.
P.S. I confess that I actually dislike Valentine's Day. It's such a Hallmark holiday...although it will be nice to not be alone on it for once.0 -
Based on Will's advice..perhaps this year I'll hit a bar.
One of our local bars is having a Single's Valentines Night on Feb 28th...interesting idea, but I don't like exclusively singles events. I don't like to feel like I'm being sized up the whole night.
http://www.richmond.com/arts-entertainment/article_7a9a3886-61a5-11e2-a9f9-001a4bcf6878.html0 -
One of our local bars is having a Single's Valentines Night on Feb 28th...interesting idea, but I don't like exclusively singles events. I don't like to feel like I'm being sized up the whole night.
http://www.richmond.com/arts-entertainment/article_7a9a3886-61a5-11e2-a9f9-001a4bcf6878.html
I like the concept of exclusively singles night because it makes things a lot easier. It is good to know that who you are approaching is single. However, in reality, these singles nights or exclusively singles functions do not play out as well as one would think based on how they are conceptualized. Any one else feel that way? If so, why does it play out like that?0 -
I tell anyone I'm dating that they are simply not allowed to buy me flowers or chocolate or anything traditional (commercial) on Valentine's day. It feels forced and obligatory. I do however, request that it be the one time in a year where a mushy card complete with original thoughts and declaration of feelings is given.
I love romance..I even like flowers..I just don't want it on that day, just because everyone else is doing it.
Based on Will's advice..perhaps this year I'll hit a bar.
Sigh.
The chocolate and flowers seemed forced... yet you force the mushy card with original thoughts and feelings??
ladys lady ladys :noway:0 -
I think this topic has strayed from JJ's original post...
However, I have to say that I believe V-day is one of those times men, in a relationship, need to suck it up and be romantic. If you think flowers are overdone, send balloons. If you think restaurants are overly busy and twice as expensive, make a candle lit dinner. It may be true that it is a forced holiday but suck it up and make it one that she remembers.0 -
How about a card in the form of a video that you shoot?
Personally, I hate almost every single physical present someone could give. I'm always gracious and thankful, but then I end up going home and wondering what to do with this new piece of junk. If there was something I wanted or needed, I would have already bought it for myself.
However, something thoughtful and creative like a video would be pretty cool and a memory I could save forever WITHOUT cluttering up my shiz.0 -
Personally, I hate almost every single physical present someone could give. I'm always gracious and thankful, but then I end up going home and wondering what to do with this new piece of junk. If there was something I wanted or needed, I would have already bought it for myself.
I'm the same way, so I ask for food or beer0 -
Janie, how about a Boudoir photo shoot?
Flam said everything I needed to in regards to the super trendy "OMG Commercialism" whiners 0 -
Janie, how about a Boudoir photo shoot?
Flam said everything I needed to in regards to the super trendy "OMG Commercialism" whiners
I would love to do that sometime!0 -
Hey, did posts get deleted from this? I coulda sworn I responded to the Boudoir photo shoot idea. hmmmmmm.
(And yes, I'm looking at this old thread bc I actually forgot about V-day til now and must hurry up and get something in the mail)0 -
Hey, did posts get deleted from this? I coulda sworn I responded to the Boudoir photo shoot idea. hmmmmmm.
(And yes, I'm looking at this old thread bc I actually forgot about V-day til now and must hurry up and get something in the mail)
I never did see a response to it.0 -
I would prefer not to get a guy anything for V Day. I don't like going out to eat on V Day or any other special made up day because it's always incredibly crowded. I'd rather do something spontaneously on some non-special made up day just because we decide to do something.
Don't like the EXPECTED gift or night out unless it's OUR special made up day.0 -
Hey, did posts get deleted from this? I coulda sworn I responded to the Boudoir photo shoot idea. hmmmmmm.
(And yes, I'm looking at this old thread bc I actually forgot about V-day til now and must hurry up and get something in the mail)
I never did see a response to it.
Oh. Ok. It was something along the lines of I'd love to do that, but it would have to be really tame to give to a man who isn't my husband (just my personal preference). But maybe something elegant in a nice frame.... IDK. I'll figure something out.
I may not get him anything. I find it odd he hasn't yet asked for my address to send me a card or something, ya know? Maybe he's not into the whole Vday thing...?
I say that, but I'll at least send him a card. And am sending my son a card too.0 -
Hey, did posts get deleted from this? I coulda sworn I responded to the Boudoir photo shoot idea. hmmmmmm.
(And yes, I'm looking at this old thread bc I actually forgot about V-day til now and must hurry up and get something in the mail)
I never did see a response to it.
Oh. Ok. It was something along the lines of I'd love to do that, but it would have to be really tame to give to a man who isn't my husband (just my personal preference). But maybe something elegant in a nice frame.... IDK. I'll figure something out.
I may not get him anything. I find it odd he hasn't yet asked for my address to send me a card or something, ya know? Maybe he's not into the whole Vday thing...?
I say that, but I'll at least send him a card. And am sending my son a card too.
He might not be the Vday type. Fortunately with guys like that it's pretty easy - you just tell them what you expect and when and they're relieved to deliver when the time comes, hahaha!0
