Self Love when the Physical isn't What We'd Like

BellehavenfarmDawn

I have been talking to a friend who says self love and appreciation is so important. It is natural to appreciate and support others. I must say I do struggle with self. Yes I am glad my body is working. But a life long weight problem seems a bit much!

Here are some of my friends suggestions:

voice gratitude in the morning and at night
When creaming or washing send love and appreciation
Stop saying negative things about myself. and if I do, say three positive things

Criticism of self, sadly, come very naturally to me. but I would like to change.

thoughts?

Capone007

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BellehavenfarmDawn

Good tip!

RekindledRose

For me it all comes down to gratitude, and I have to remind myself every day to look at the positives and not dwell on the negatives. It's tough, especially when there are so many memories of others planting negative thoughts into me from an early age.

Most notably are my mother and brother, who told me how fat and homely I was when I was very much an 'average' child. My mom would also say things like "Don't run! Ladies don't run! Don't climb trees! You'll fall! Don't whistle! It looks ugly!" And my brother would mercilessly call me cumquat nose, pizza face, tub-o-lard, etc., etc.

So even now at nearly 43 years old I hear the echoes of their voices even when I try as hard as I can to ignore them. Sometimes I wish I could erase those parts of my brain.

alipene

I'm sorry Dawn, but when I read the title I wondered where this thread was going :laugh:

BellehavenfarmDawn

So even now at nearly 43 years old I hear the echoes of their voices even when I try as hard as I can to ignore them. Sometimes I wish I could erase those parts of my brain.

Yeah, I hear you. I guess we can't outrun the memories and they don't respond to logic! I will try to say, "That was THEIR problem." It certainly was! I would never treat a child or anyone like that! would you?

I actually decided to elope, to avoid a wedding! I was thin at the time but I knew my family would find somethingsssss wrong with my physical appearance! I actually don't regret not spending the money. I am not a ceremony person. but that is sad, nonetheless.

I AM grateful everything ..ie my body ...is working! I am feeling great about this program. then a friend posted a photo of me being hugged by my dog and her dog at the farm. Honestly, I could barely recognize myself. I avoid mirrors and photos as much as possible.

Sadly I was that way at 120 lbs and I am that way now at somewhat over 200. I get that it's a head thing.

I will work on the gratitude. nice idea. I guess that unexpected photo really threw me for a loop!

I wonder if people who can look in a mirror and say, I love you, well my guess is that they don't come from backgrounds like ours. Except, now that I think about it Louise Hay managed. maybe I need to reread!

D.

BellehavenfarmDawn

I'm sorry Dawn, but when I read the title I wondered where this thread was going

No I wasn't going there!
Do you love yourself? It is a very uncomfortable feeling for me. But I suspect it is a problem that's worth surmounting.

I think it's especially hard when my body is fat. How do I love myself, fat and all?

Just thought this would be a good group to ask!

D