Broke my heart

JanieJack

Today I met a soldier whose face is grossly discolored and slightly disfigured from some previous military duty.

It reminded me of an article (I can’t find but has stuck with me over the years) about a beautiful woman who was horribly disfigured and went from having lots of male suitors to having no one interested. No one asked her out for years, so she tried to online date, back when you could get away with not posting pictures. Men – even the ones who developed an online and telephone “connection” – did not want someone who looked like her. Some cursed her out. Some called her a freak. Things like that. Ten or so years later, a man she’d been volunteering with for years had grown to appreciate her giving heart, so he asked her out and eventually married her. In the article he admits he was repulsed for a long time when he first met her, but her personality eventually won him over.

I kept thinking today how sad it was that many women probably wouldn’t even give him a chance at first if they saw the disfiguration from a distance. And if it was a FEMALE soldier who looked like that, seems to me her prospects would be even worse because my experience seems to be that men weight appearance more heavily in their attraction formula than do women. Which really stinks considering how he got that injury.

Just venting. I’m done now.

TheKitsune6

One of the best "relationships" I ever had was with a marine who had a large scar down the entire side of his face. Neither of us was in a place to pursue anything long term, but it actually became a feature of his I actually liked. I think now he's back in Texas and probably with someone good - he was that awesome

But I do know what you mean, it does seem like men are more visual and more likely to not be interested in a lady because of this... but there are a lot of people that wouldn't mind too, regardless of gender. Your lady found happiness, and so will this guy.

dbrightwell1270

I don't believe women are less visual for one minute. I think women are just less honest about it. Women will see someone who is physically unappealling to them and come up with forty other reasons to justify. Men will just say she was ugly.

kimad

I don't believe women are less visual for one minute. I think women are just less honest about it. Women will see someone who is physically unappealling to them and come up with forty other reasons to justify. Men will just say she was ugly.

I have been shallow, I will be honest.... but I have also been on the other end and been with someone not really cute becuase something else drew me in.

ETA: I feel for those people in the OP, becuase they have the cards already stacked against them. This really could be for numerous things (ie weight) so it's great that these people had the opportunity to get to know people on the outside and fall upon a relationship.

cheerforsteelers

I don't believe women are less visual for one minute. I think women are just less honest about it. Women will see someone who is physically unappealling to them and come up with forty other reasons to justify. Men will just say she was ugly.

Women are visual, sure, but I don't think women place such a high value on it like men (and no, not ALL men and ALL women place a priority on looks).

AnnaPixie

I don't believe women are less visual for one minute. I think women are just less honest about it. Women will see someone who is physically unappealling to them and come up with forty other reasons to justify. Men will just say she was ugly.

You're right, I wouldnt just say someone is 'ugly' cos I think that's just rude!

But I dont think women are less honest. I try and see the good points in all people. And ugly is just a word that doesnt fit most people. There is beauty in everyone! Unless you are ugly inside and out, then I'll say you're ugly........lol But I'd rather just say 'I'm not attracted to him' as that would encompass the whole spectrum of looks, physique, personality, warmth, smile ..... etc. that will determine my interest.

TheKitsune6

I don't believe women are less visual for one minute. I think women are just less honest about it. Women will see someone who is physically unappealling to them and come up with forty other reasons to justify. Men will just say she was ugly.

Allow me to clarify what I mean by that - we are visual, yes. I have found that there women tend to overlook, or even find what others classically consider "ugly" to be endearing once they know more about the individual (or just find other aspects make up for it. Like how Donald Trumps wife seems to be totally okay with that combover, hahahaha). Men do this too, I just don't think it's on the same scale.