For Guys who want "Professional Women"
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
I was cleaning out my PMs and came across this:
I often hear guys say they want "professional women" but then they don't want to date my peers (kinda like when they say they want "smart women" but they tend to go for ditzes) so I'm wondering if other guys mean the same thing as the one who wrote the quote?
Edit... in the same PM he also wrote:
(uh, oh... have I just given the board an excuse for another flame war...? We have quite a few fabulous bartenders and waitresses here)
I am going for professional women but I think I am using the term differently than you are. I am meaning teachers, nurses, etc. Women who have jobs that are more or less careers, not necessarily executive types.
I often hear guys say they want "professional women" but then they don't want to date my peers (kinda like when they say they want "smart women" but they tend to go for ditzes) so I'm wondering if other guys mean the same thing as the one who wrote the quote?
Edit... in the same PM he also wrote:
I am not looking for bartenders, waitresses, etc.
(uh, oh... have I just given the board an excuse for another flame war...? We have quite a few fabulous bartenders and waitresses here)
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Replies
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this guy sounds like an idiot.
but i am curious to see what other guys have to say about this?
i have found some guys dont like their women to be successful, some guys say they do but then can't handle it....
guys please enlighten us0 -
this guy sounds like an idiot.
but i am curious to see what other guys have to say about this?
i have found some guys dont like their women to be successful, some guys say they do but then can't handle it....
guys please enlighten us
One sounds a little passive aggressive.
I cannot extract the meaning of what that guy meant by "professional women" but if I used that expression I would probably be trying to convey the idea of a women with a well respected job/ intellectually stimulating job.0 -
***Robot voice***
I agree with what the women think, it's all the men's fault... please don't report me!0 -
For real though, I tend to like the teachers and nurses.0
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I have some medical training & love the nurses. Also teachers. Come to think of it I don't think most men really obsess over potential mates careers. I never have.0
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this guy sounds like an idiot.
Wow... that seems harsh...or maybe I'm just reacting because this was a PM from a friend who I wouldn't be PMing if he were an idiot.
I actually thought what he wrote made sense in helping me understand why some professional guys say they want professional women but it doesn't seem like that to me (because the bulk of my peers are the "more executive" professionals).
I've never thought there was a difference when I say professional between doctor, nurse, teacher, or executive. To me, they're all professions. But to some guys (at least this one) there's different levels of professions.0 -
this guy sounds like an idiot.
Wow... that seems harsh...or maybe I'm just reacting because this was a PM from a friend who I wouldn't be PMing if he were an idiot.
I actually thought what he wrote made sense in helping me understand why some professional guys say they want professional women but it doesn't seem like that to me (because the bulk of my peers are the "more executive" professionals).
I've never thought there was a difference when I say professional between doctor, nurse, teacher, or executive. To me, they're all professions. But to some guys (at least this one) there's different levels of professions.
lol wasn't being harsh. i thought that was a message to you from some guy who didnt want to date you because of your career.
my bad.0 -
this guy sounds like an idiot.
but i am curious to see what other guys have to say about this?
i have found some guys dont like their women to be successful, some guys say they do but then can't handle it....
guys please enlighten us
One sounds a little passive aggressive.
I cannot extract the meaning of what that guy meant by "professional women" but if I used that expression I would probably be trying to convey the idea of a women with a well respected job/ intellectually stimulating job.
lol no not passive aggressive at all. sorry if it came off that way. i really would like to know if that matters to men or not.
i'm a civil engineer, some guys are intimidated, others are very supportive. that's all.0 -
lol wasn't being harsh. i thought that was a message to you from some guy who didnt want to date you because of your career.
my bad.
Lol, no, he didn't want to date me cuz I'm out of state and I don't put out.
(And I say that with all the love in my heart because he is reading this thread haha)0 -
Maybe I am not getting it right but I think some guys think there is a difference between a women that has a profession over a career woman.
Career comes across as someone that is "power hungry" and wants to push for their career to the highest level possible. Example Hillary Clinton
A women that has a profession is someone that is usually in a lower to mid level position that their life doesn't revolve around their job but is a stable job 8-5 job.0 -
I think in a way it makes sense. He isn't looking for someone permanently stuck in what would be traditionally seen as a temporary/"student type" job (usually low income or low qualification)...I am meaning teachers, nurses, etc. Women who have jobs that are more or less careers, not necessarily executive types.
I often hear guys say they want "professional women" but then they don't want to date my peers so I'm wondering if other guys mean the same thing as the one who wrote the quote?
Edit... in the same PM he also wrote:I am not looking for bartenders, waitresses, etc.
Personally, I think I would probably see a "non intellectual" profession as an orange flag (i.e. the girl should expect me to talk about it on a date).
Probably the male equivalent for "must be ambitious".
Oh yeah, and executive types can be scary for the reasons MM mentioned.0 -
I guess I am simple?
I think as long as you have a way to support yourself, in whatever way you accomplish that, than that is fine.
I also tend to believe that intelligence isn't an objective term, so I don't judge someone because they have a job that is stigmatized for being "blue collar" or "requires less intellect".
For example, my ex wife's dad was not a "very bright" individual when it came to certain topics, however the man could repair any vehicle he came across. He was also very handy. To say he is "dumb" is a little inaccurate, he may be dumb in certain areas.
I dunno, if you support yourself you are good in my book.
To clarify: I don't know exactly what he means by "professional", and I don't know why he deems that someone has to have a job "deemed a profession".0 -
FYI when I read the title I thought you were talking about guys that visit women in the worlds oldest profession.0
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Career does not matter. I do, however, prefer someone who is passionate about whatever they do or at least making progress towards doing something they can feel good about.
That passion may not be their 9-5, it may be what their 9-5 supports as long as their job does not make them miserable.
No cops, though.
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Career comes across as someone that is "power hungry" and wants to push for their career to the highest level possible. Example Hillary Clinton
A women that has a profession is someone that is usually in a lower to mid level position that their life doesn't revolve around their job but is a stable job 8-5 job.
I really disagree with this - technically a professional is someone who went to professional school (law, med, pharm etc). I wouldn't say that is low to mid level - its someone who still has the "title" whether or not they are working (a doctor is a doctor whether or not they are practicing). A career is similar - something you do and are moving up the ladder, not like you're jumping from one type of job to another. I think thats what the guy meant by "professional" - as an engineer you would be that type as well!0 -
Career does not matter. I do, however, prefer someone who is passionate about whatever they do or at least making progress towards doing something they can feel good about.
That passion may not be their 9-5, it may be what their 9-5 supports as long as their job does not make them miserable.
No cops, though.
My friends told me I am not allowed to date a cop ....WOuld have to stop hanging with to many of them lol0 -
Career does not matter. I do, however, prefer someone who is passionate about whatever they do or at least making progress towards doing something they can feel good about.
That passion may not be their 9-5, it may be what their 9-5 supports as long as their job does not make them miserable.
No cops, though.
I have a no cop rule.....they get a bad rap , I think. I would have the same problem as Jenbit......have to stop hanging with my FAMILY!!!0 -
what's wrong with cops? lol
idk if i would specifically go out of my way to date 'em but i'm not sure i would turn one away? hmm0 -
The guy knows what he wants. While that might eliminate some people from his dating pool that's fine. My guess is he's looking for a woman that serves a more traditional role and will be more accessible to him. "Executives" tend to be married to their job, regardless of gender, so if a guy wants his woman to be around it makes sense.
If that's his dealbreaker that's fine. It's not like he's running around telling executive women that they're wasting their lady bits and should be popping out human larvae. *shrug*0 -
The only job title I would not date is "unemployed".0
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Guess what.... there are many types of women in this world and many types of men. Everyone has there preferences for different reasons and that is fine. Don't let what some people think shape what you think of yourself. Find a career that you love and enjoy going to every day. Make it your passion. If you love your job, you will enjoy your life a whole lot more than if you worry about pleasing someone else. When you are enjoying your life, you are confident and sexy thus appealing more suitors.
Bottom line - There are many flavors of people in the world. Do what you love and love will follow.0 -
The guy knows what he wants. While that might eliminate some people from his dating pool that's fine. My guess is he's looking for a woman that serves a more traditional role and will be more accessible to him. "Executives" tend to be married to their job, regardless of gender, so if a guy wants his woman to be around it makes sense.
This is what I was going for but not have stated it correctly.0 -
what's wrong with cops? lol
idk if i would specifically go out of my way to date 'em but i'm not sure i would turn one away? hmm
Too many of my family members are involved in extra cirricular activities that could be frowned upon.0 -
Career does not matter. I do, however, prefer someone who is passionate about whatever they do or at least making progress towards doing something they can feel good about.
That passion may not be their 9-5, it may be what their 9-5 supports as long as their job does not make them miserable.
No cops, though.
Pretty much this, minus the cop part.0 -
Maybe I am not getting it right but I think some guys think there is a difference between a women that has a profession over a career woman.
Career comes across as someone that is "power hungry" and wants to push for their career to the highest level possible. Example Hillary Clinton
A women that has a profession is someone that is usually in a lower to mid level position that their life doesn't revolve around their job but is a stable job 8-5 job.
I think you're spot on.
I hate to bring up The Rules Revisited again, but he just made a post about how feminine women get more men as opposed to less feminine women. He says you can still have your career and personality, but to match it, let your femininity shine.
On another note, if all the conversation you have is regarding work, you should (you in a general term) should read more, or find a hobby so you can have other things to talk about. I think people get annoyed when all you can talk about is your career because it might come off as bragging. Have other interests and make it clear that despite being XYZ at your company, that is just a small part of you and your personality.0 -
Yippi I qualify. (health care..secure, geeky job
Most guys I've talked to don't seem to be all that interested in what I do more or less that I'm not about to ask them to pay my bills...I think men just want the woman to be stable enough to take care of herself...and not mooch off them.
Its women that are picker in general about what a man does...for me I really also just want the man to be able to take care of himself and not mooch off of me. And be intelligent and hard working at what ever he does..hopefully have passion about it..or a hobby that he's passionate about so he's not some zombie just existing...I want someone with a lust for life.0 -
So an opera singer...???
It's always so weird for me in the dating world, because guys ask what I do for a living. Well, I work for an insurance company making enough to cover the bills. I guess I fall into the category of working to support my passion, because I hate talking about my job, but I can talk anyone's ear off about music, especially opera!0 -
So an opera singer...???
It's always so weird for me in the dating world, because guys ask what I do for a living. Well, I work for an insurance company making enough to cover the bills. I guess I fall into the category of working to support my passion, because I hate talking about my job, but I can talk anyone's ear off about music, especially opera!
I'm with you right now, I'm working until I finish school and then I'm gonna have the coolest job ever. So I'll be flippant and dismissive about my receptionist job, but I will talk your ear off about the African serval I volunteer with!0 -
I always thought of Professional being used two ways: a euphemism for high paying job or a job that basically requires a masters or bachelors degree to get. It didn't really matter what kind of job, but the implication of high pay and long hours comes with it. At least, that's my take.
As far as my own concerns, I just simply want my potential gal would be able to do her fair share of the bills and stuff. Of course, through legal means.0
