Restaurant Trauma: Reigniting the "I'm Allergic" Debate
SammieGetsFit
Posts: 432 Member
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I know I should make all my food at home, that it's the only way to KNOW what I'm getting, etc. I got it. Moving on.
Another post on MFP brought up some recent experiences I've had when eating out, and it got me to thinking that maybe I would just save myself a WHOLE LOTTA GRIEF if I say to my server "I'm allergic to eggs and dairy" instead of "I'm vegan."
Now, when I first thought about saying I was allergic when I wasn't after I first went vegan, a whole lot of righteous indignation boiled up in me. "I shouldn't HAVE to say I'm allergic. Saying I don't eat meat, eggs, or dairy should be enough." "I shouldn't be ashamed of being vegan and take the 'easy way out.'" "If you work at a restaurant you should know basic dietary lifestyles for crying out loud!!"
But then I recently went to one of my favorite local restaurants, a diner that buys local and organic (a concept I 100% loved supporting). And lo and behold, they had added a slew of vegan items to their menu plus symbols all over marking vegan, vegetarians, gluten-free, etc. Hooray! Huzzah! Enlightenment!, I thought. And then I noticed that my favorite item, the item I have ordered almost EVERY TIME I have eaten there since going vegan was marked "vegetarian". Um....uh oh. It turns out that they use egg to bind their black bean burger. Which none of my servers had ever told me. Ever. And EVERY TIME I had a new server at that place, I prefaced my order with "I'll have the black bean quesadilla with no cheese, no sour cream, and no jalapenos. I'm vegan. So no dairy or egg or anything." Like, by rote I said this. In fact, I many times said it to servers I'd had before.
Upon reflection I realized that since I didn't ask about every ingredient of the quesadilla (the "black bean" of the black bean quesadilla was made of broken up bits of a black bean burger patty), I couldn't exactly burn the place down. I mean, when I first ordered a black bean burger from there, I said I was vegan and asked about the sauces and said "no egg, no milk, no dairy or meat of any kind", but I hadn't said "And while you're checking to see if the pesto is vegan, can you also check the bun and the patty and the veggies that go on top?" So from that point on when I ordered a burger (I later found out they added milk to the bun and stopped ordering that) or the quesadilla, I just did my little speech and left it at that -- assuming that my original encounter had verified the veganness of the meal and that all subsequent instances of my speil would have raised alarm bells if it were not true.
And now that my eyes had been opened, I faced a choice -- become the "obnoxious patron" I never wanted to be who harangues waitstaff EVERY TIME about EVERY INGREDIENT because I've been burned before or never eat out again at a place that doesn't clearly mark things vegan...and even then...
Neither of those options sounded great to me, and then today I started wondering, "Would my servers have made more of an effort to communicate my diet preferences to the chefs if I had told them I was allergic to egg and dairy?" Maybe that's the answer? It won't protect me 100% and I'll still have to do my due diligence, but in instances like this, if the ticket had said "ALLERGIC TO EGGS AND MILK" surely the chef would have seen that and alerted the server. Surely the server would have made more of an effort to verify what I was telling her. Isn't the threat of a lawsuit more motivational than someone's "preference"? I also read today that someone said allergies should be reported to the chef and manager. Perhaps always asking to see a manager and stating it there is a good place to start?
I don't know, I guess I just needed a good rant today and to hear from others who might have some advice or insight or suggestions or even an "I hear ya sister". I've not really talked about this since it happened and I guess this already stress-filled week has brought up some buried stressors.
Another post on MFP brought up some recent experiences I've had when eating out, and it got me to thinking that maybe I would just save myself a WHOLE LOTTA GRIEF if I say to my server "I'm allergic to eggs and dairy" instead of "I'm vegan."
Now, when I first thought about saying I was allergic when I wasn't after I first went vegan, a whole lot of righteous indignation boiled up in me. "I shouldn't HAVE to say I'm allergic. Saying I don't eat meat, eggs, or dairy should be enough." "I shouldn't be ashamed of being vegan and take the 'easy way out.'" "If you work at a restaurant you should know basic dietary lifestyles for crying out loud!!"
But then I recently went to one of my favorite local restaurants, a diner that buys local and organic (a concept I 100% loved supporting). And lo and behold, they had added a slew of vegan items to their menu plus symbols all over marking vegan, vegetarians, gluten-free, etc. Hooray! Huzzah! Enlightenment!, I thought. And then I noticed that my favorite item, the item I have ordered almost EVERY TIME I have eaten there since going vegan was marked "vegetarian". Um....uh oh. It turns out that they use egg to bind their black bean burger. Which none of my servers had ever told me. Ever. And EVERY TIME I had a new server at that place, I prefaced my order with "I'll have the black bean quesadilla with no cheese, no sour cream, and no jalapenos. I'm vegan. So no dairy or egg or anything." Like, by rote I said this. In fact, I many times said it to servers I'd had before.
Upon reflection I realized that since I didn't ask about every ingredient of the quesadilla (the "black bean" of the black bean quesadilla was made of broken up bits of a black bean burger patty), I couldn't exactly burn the place down. I mean, when I first ordered a black bean burger from there, I said I was vegan and asked about the sauces and said "no egg, no milk, no dairy or meat of any kind", but I hadn't said "And while you're checking to see if the pesto is vegan, can you also check the bun and the patty and the veggies that go on top?" So from that point on when I ordered a burger (I later found out they added milk to the bun and stopped ordering that) or the quesadilla, I just did my little speech and left it at that -- assuming that my original encounter had verified the veganness of the meal and that all subsequent instances of my speil would have raised alarm bells if it were not true.
And now that my eyes had been opened, I faced a choice -- become the "obnoxious patron" I never wanted to be who harangues waitstaff EVERY TIME about EVERY INGREDIENT because I've been burned before or never eat out again at a place that doesn't clearly mark things vegan...and even then...
Neither of those options sounded great to me, and then today I started wondering, "Would my servers have made more of an effort to communicate my diet preferences to the chefs if I had told them I was allergic to egg and dairy?" Maybe that's the answer? It won't protect me 100% and I'll still have to do my due diligence, but in instances like this, if the ticket had said "ALLERGIC TO EGGS AND MILK" surely the chef would have seen that and alerted the server. Surely the server would have made more of an effort to verify what I was telling her. Isn't the threat of a lawsuit more motivational than someone's "preference"? I also read today that someone said allergies should be reported to the chef and manager. Perhaps always asking to see a manager and stating it there is a good place to start?
I don't know, I guess I just needed a good rant today and to hear from others who might have some advice or insight or suggestions or even an "I hear ya sister". I've not really talked about this since it happened and I guess this already stress-filled week has brought up some buried stressors.
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I'm considering that option myself and have avoided it in the past for all the same reasons you listed- righteous indignation indeed! If I lived in Seattle, California, or someplace where more than 1/2 of the population even knows what a vegan IS, this probably wouldn't be an issue. But I eat out nearly EVERYDAY in middle Georgia, for crying out loud, the home of fried EVERYTHING and sweet tea, and eating something that doesn't contain SOMETHING that comes from an animal is a foreign concept to most. {head:desk}0
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