"secret admirers" and secrets

christine24t

I have been noticing a new phenomenon on the internet lately, I'm going to guess it's more of a younger college aged generation thing...the confessing of secrets online.

There is one for my college, people write things like "freshman year at the caf I barfed in the bathroom" or "senior year at ___ bar, I hooked up with my best friend's boyfriend" or even nice sentiments like "when I was lost my first day of freshman year, this older girl helped me find my way. Where ever you are, thanks!"

Now there's a subset of this trend... "secret admirers" or pages where people can anonymously post who they have a crush on...

Good thing or bad? Thoughts? Would you be flattered if someone did something similar like this to you, or creeped out?

(Just trying to drum up some conversation!)

An example page (not where I went to college): https://www.facebook.com/WinonaStateUniversityCupid

2stepz

postsecret.com has been around for many years now, and is a world-wide receptacle for secrets. The problem with the 'secret admirer' bit ran through FB is that it's never truly secret... nothing on the internet is truly secret.

christine24t

postsecret.com has been around for many years now, and is a world-wide receptacle for secrets. The problem with the 'secret admirer' bit ran through FB is that it's never truly secret... nothing on the internet is truly secret.

I love post-secret, but this is supposedly to be more filtered to your area or your campus, you know?

I would agree about the privacy thing but there is a way to post anonymously through a page and then the site administrator posts the secrets they get, but as far as I know the person who receives the secrets doesn't know who sent them? Unless they're pretending?

Example, for another school, all you do is write it here: http://surveys.questionpro.com/a/t/AJyyjZPKr0

No need for an email or a name...

TheKitsune6

What's the point of admitting you have a crush on someone, them seeing it and then not knowing it's you?

lacroyx

What's the point of admitting you have a crush on someone, them seeing it and then not knowing it's you?

I think it would make the crushee feel 1000X more awesome knowing someone is out there crushing on them, even if they never know who she or he maybe. I know it would for me.

MissingMinnesota

This just reminds me of the "missed connections" on craigslist.

Roadie2000

I don't understand. If someone had a crush on me, why would they post it on some random message board that I'd probably never read but not just tel me? Are they just that afraid of rejection?

I used to read missed connections on craigslist all the time, I thought it was cute. But if someone actually knows me and they can post their crush for me online but not tell me, then that's creepy. It's just a cop out, if you really like someone you have to be willing to put yourself out there and risk getting rejected. I'm not attracted to people that can't speak their mind and play it safe their entire lives.

RunIntheMud

"Secret Admirers" are for grade school... If you know the person, find a way to tell them you are interested in them. Even if you're not the most assertive person, there are better ways than a website they may happen to fall upon.

That said, I've used "Missed Connections" before and it actually worked. Last summer I had gotten home from my parents (a 19hr drive). I stopped at Redbox so the kids would have some entertainment while I crashed. I'm standing there, exhausted and this guy walks up to the kiosk next to me and says hello. I look over and he's hot, but I was exhausted and thought nothing of it, so I get in my car and leave. I see the back of his truck and it has those little stick figures...just a dad and a daughter. And, I feel like a dummy. He pulls next to me at the light and waves, but that was that. ...went back to Redbox right near 9 the next night to return the movies. I don't see him around our little area for the next couple days but do think of him, so I reluctantly post a missed connection. He emails me the next morning. We talk on the phone that night and actually end up meeting for coffee as we're on the phone. We dated for about 3 weeks, but he liked to drink a lot more than me so I ended it.

christine24t

What's the point of admitting you have a crush on someone, them seeing it and then not knowing it's you?

I think it would make the crushee feel 1000X more awesome knowing someone is out there crushing on them, even if they never know who she or he maybe. I know it would for me.

I think so too and maybe just knowing its out there might make you more brave later, if you're given a chance? I think it's kinda cute...after all the stupid things we hear on a daily basis this is kind of cute. I would be flattered and maybe it would inspire more confidence?

jenbit

It feels kinda high school to me........ I'm mena first of all if your crushing on someone who has no clue ...give the person a clue lol it will make everyone either happier or will end your crush allowing you to move along..... No point living in limbo

ItsCasey

What's the point of admitting you have a crush on someone, them seeing it and then not knowing it's you?

I think it would make the crushee feel 1000X more awesome knowing someone is out there crushing on them, even if they never know who she or he maybe. I know it would for me.

Unless I could somehow figure out who it was, it would just piss me off to know that there's someone out there who likes me but won't just say it to me.

I understand why girls/women don't like to openly admit being interested in a guy ("openly" meaning actually saying "I want to go out with you," as opposed to just flirting and hinting around). We are, for the most part, taught that guys don't like when women are too forward or aggressive about such things, although we obviously know there are exceptions.

But I can also understand why men get frustrated by women who know they have feelings for a man but won't put themselves far enough out on the limb to risk falling off. We expect men to do that for us, but we (generally) aren't willing to do it.

MissingMinnesota

It feels kinda high school to me........ I'm mena first of all if your crushing on someone who has no clue ...give the person a clue lol it will make everyone either happier or will end your crush allowing you to move along..... No point living in limbo

Well this is mainly college kids so not far out of high school.

TheKitsune6

What's the point of admitting you have a crush on someone, them seeing it and then not knowing it's you?

I think it would make the crushee feel 1000X more awesome knowing someone is out there crushing on them, even if they never know who she or he maybe. I know it would for me.

I dunno Cesar, I tend to just up and say it. I think it's far more productive, personally. :laugh:

christine24t

It feels kinda high school to me........ I'm mena first of all if your crushing on someone who has no clue ...give the person a clue lol it will make everyone either happier or will end your crush allowing you to move along..... No point living in limbo

Haha limbo is my life!

I wouldn't post something though because knowing me, I wouldn't be able to be "normal" around that person again. I would always think "do they know its me??" I might post a memory if my friends and I all agreed but not a crush and I had plenty of those!

Run, awesome on the missed connections thing!