Day 1 - why I'm doing this
mmmartje
Posts: 26 Member
Hi, I'm new to this group. I would very much like to get my bingeing under control because it makes me feel emotionally awful and physically very sick. I've diminished my binges, decreasing the days I binge from daily 2/3 to 1 a week. Though I'd like to get rid of that one day to, because it messes up my calorie budget and my self esteem big time.
I'd like to have a normal relationship with food, where I don't use it as a way to control my emotions. I want to be the one who is in charge of both my body and my mind.
I think for me, it's about finding new ways to show myself that I love me (if that even makes sense) without only resorting to food, perhaps I can do this by getting healthy.
I'd like to have a normal relationship with food, where I don't use it as a way to control my emotions. I want to be the one who is in charge of both my body and my mind.
I think for me, it's about finding new ways to show myself that I love me (if that even makes sense) without only resorting to food, perhaps I can do this by getting healthy.
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Replies
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I think that's a wonderful goal. I have problems with eliminating that one last binge day. I believe in you. You--we can do this!0
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I'm Day 1 too, but with bingeing about 4-5 times a week... We can both do this. It's my first day on MFP, and I love it so much...0
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Congrats on making it one day!! Keep it up!!0
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You know what's really annoying? I make such great food choices, avoid processed foods, drink tons of water, workout, and reflect on how I am a changed person, and I love feeling so strong, healthy, and in control. And then suddenly, out of the blue, I am wolfing down little Reece's peanut butter cups like some sort of an animal. Luckily, I didnt get cuts on my fingers from tearing through the wrappers at such an alarming rate.
It just makes me mad at myself, because I really have learned to enjoy the taste of healty food, and the way it makes me feel. I used to think that a fun weekend would be eating candy, donuts, pizza, cookies, Hostess products until I was so full, I had to take a nap to allow all systems other than digestion to shut down, so that I could digest the 4000 calories I had just eaten. When I would wake up from my nap, if I wasnt immediately hungry, I would actually hope that I would get hungry soon, so that could eat more sweets. What the eff?
Well over the last few months of learning to cook vegetables so that they actually taste good, and learning to make my own healthy marinades for chicken and fish, I keep feeling like I have this under control. I know that it really is not "fun" to gorge myself until I need to take a jar of Tums, and Pepto, and Alka Seltzer to keep from throwing up, and to stop the nausea and heartburn.
So why in the world, after eating healthy all day, would I suddenly be overcome by the thought of the chocolately goodness of the Reeces Peanut butter cups, and jump to my feet, run to the closet, and devour one after another, wrappers flying helter skelter. I didnt feel particularily stressed, deprressed, happy, sad, nervous, tired, elated, just normal. So I'm just curious to figure out why I do this just often enough to barely lose any weight, though I work out almost every day.0 -
okay, this is my 2nd try at this. lol. made it just past the halfway mark last time through (about a month ago) and honestly, i've never felt better. i am committed to seeing this to the end this time.
i am doing this b/c i know i'm better than binging. i can do it. i can.0 -
I'm with you! I feel so much better when I'm in control of my eating. This emotional shoveling of food in my mouth and feeling awful about myself has got to stop! I do so good 90% of the time! I am working out 5-6 days a week, counting my calories almost all of the time, then I get overwhelmed... Or exhausted... Or frustrated and then the eating that I cannot bear to log happens. Not nearly as often as it used to, but often enough to make me know I need a second try at this challenge!0
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Hello everyone! I just joined this group earlier today, and I thought it would be good to tell my story.
My name is Beth, and I am 23. I have been binging since I was a child. Since I could remember, I would sneak food from the kitchen at night, and sneak food from the fridge and hide behind the couch and binge. A sleeve of cookies there, a jar of pickles here. All I wanted was to eat. I was always the chubby kid in school/camp, and even chubby kids would pick on me. I always put too much on my plate, and finished every bite...and wanted more.
I was chubby all throughout school until my senior year of High School. I would hang out with a close group of friends for hours and hours after school. I would have so much fun that I would forget to eat. Eating much less became a habit. I was finally eating healthy portions. Instead of going to and from the kitchen 5 times in an hour to snack, I would go to and from the kitchen 5 times in an hour but not eat anything. Walking in the kitchen was still a habit, but I wasn't as hungry as I once was. I went from 180ish lbs to 145lbs from eating less and walking around town with my friends, at least 2-4 miles a day. Before I knew it, I was the happiest I had ever been with my body. I was at a healthy weight and thought I finally had control and was rid of the binge. Until I went to college, and I became cocky and thought I could eat whatever I wanted. The binge had creeped its way back into my life, and before I knew it, I was 212 lbs. The heaviest I have ever been, and the weight that I still struggle with currently.
Back then when I lost the weight I was 18-19 years old. Its always easier to lose weight when younger, but after 20 it gets difficult. As I mentioned before, I am 23 and it has been really hard to lose weight and even harder to fight the binge. I try and stick to my calorie budget of 1650 cals/day and try to exercise 5-6 days/week. But the binge is always there, whether I am actually eating or just thinking about food, its there.
I have taken many "are you a binge eater?" quizzes and have dramatically passed every single one. Although I have not seen a professional so I have not been diagnosed, I know my eating habits are not healthy and have had this condition since I was a kid. I need to have control over my life again, and get my body back, my confidence and my comfort. I am hoping that I will be able to do that by being on MFP, especially a part of this group.
Today is my Day 1!
Feel free to add me : )0 -
Day 1 - Why I'm doing this?
For as long as I can remember, back into my childhood, I've always felt this urge to just eat everything in sight, even when I'm jot hungry. It's so frustrating! I'm now almost a year and a half into my weightloss journey and I've come so far, but my binging is still something I have been unable to conquer. Today has been a great day, I'm ending it binge free. This is all I can do, take it one day at a time. I want nothing more than to make it to Day 50 and beyond!
Feel free to add me, I can always use/give extra encouragement.0