Small World

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Moe4572
Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
I was supposed to meet a guy on Saturday--the one I had been talking to on computer/emailing with for a couple weeks. On Friday, he said we would meet at the outlets at 3-4ish.....he would know more on the time once he got to see his daughter (he was going to spend day with her). I never heard from him again.

So, Saturday afternoon at 4....my cousin is with her friend getting a psychic reading done, and the psychic says to my cousins' friend..."What is the deal with this widower that I see in your life?" And she starts explaining that she is talking to a guy who lost his wife, and he has 3 girls--one with ex wife, one with wife he lost, and then says the girls names, and my cousin looks at her and says "WHAT" ....and then asks questions about him......and realizes it is the same guy that I have been talking to!!

Now, I do not see this is a huge deal---it is the nature of online dating..that he will be talking to others---I am talking to others. The big deal is him blowing me off......However, she was very upset.....and kept asking me did he tell you this? did he tell you that? and if he was lying about stuff....he was consistent--told us mostly the same stories.......According to her, they have been texting 7 weeks--all day every day, and he asked her not to see others while waiting to meet, but he is "very busy" so could not meet (for 7 weeks?) BUT, she has a tendency to exaggerate so not sure how true what she says is......

I do have to say I am surprised this has happened before....but I don't see this woman often, and when my friend was doing online dating....she and I have complete OPPOSITE taste in men, so that did not ever happen.

It sure is a small world..............
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Replies

  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    Moe,
    So you know I am curious, has this lady heard from him since yesterday?
    I am sure you don't want to know, but I can't help but wonder...

    Keep your chin up, other men will come along - ones who are worthy - I am learning this myself :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    So your cousins friend was talking to him too? That is kinda funny...it really is a small world!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    That is odd. I have the same question as Kim though...
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    What a d*ck.... ok, that was in response to him blowing you off.


    And, LMAO.....that's in response to you two talking to the same man. Hahaha... it's just too funny. :)
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    She was mad when she found out he was talking to others (me) and she texted him "small world" and as of yesterday morning....she had not heard from him and she said "first time ever I got no response"
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Wow. WHAT a small world.

    You know I don't have any problem with casual dating, and stuff like this is just another reason why. I'm glad you didn't do like your cousin's friend and stop getting to know others while getting to know him.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Wow! That would creep me out. Online dating is almost incestuous!

    Glad you found out. Imagine if he was dating both of you...........awkward! :huh:

    (Hence, once of the reasons why I DON'T think multi-dating is cool....)
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Wow! That would creep me out. Online dating is almost incestuous!

    Glad you found out. Imagine if he was dating both of you...........awkward! :huh:

    (Hence, once of the reasons why I DON'T think multi-dating is cool....)

    One of the things I like about these forums is how two people can take the same information and come to different conclusions for their lives. I look at this kind of situation and say, "This is why I will multi-date, because you can't even trust a guy who says he doesn’t want you dating others not to be doing it himself, and if I adopt this mindset I take being hurt out of the equation.” Whereas someone else can look at how angry/hurt they’d be if they found out someone they were dating was also dating others and decide they want nothing to do with it.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    HELP.......I just got an email from guy who blew me off saying that he "now understands why I didn't answer any of his texts--he plugged my number into his phone incorrectly"

    I am guessing not legit.......but do I give him the benefit of the doubt? I am conflicted for sure on this one.......
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    HELP.......I just got an email from guy who blew me off saying that he "now understands why I didn't answer any of his texts--he plugged my number into his phone incorrectly"

    I am guessing not legit.......but do I give him the benefit of the doubt? I am conflicted for sure on this one.......

    I've actually done this once. I entered the wrong number in my mobile. A few hours before our scheduled first date, I tried to call and text her to confirm our meet up, but no reply (it seemed her phone was switched off). I assumed she didn't want to meet, and I didn't feel like driving 30 minutes without confirmation.

    Fortunately I sent her an email asking why her phone was switched off (which of course confused her even more), but we still arranged a second "first" date a few days later. She had been at the restaurant waiting for me, of course. I felt terrible. It was only after we finally met that I realized her phone number was entered incorrectly.

    It can happen.

    --P
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    where do you live? is it a small town or a rural state or something?
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    Honestly, there's no reason to not trust him. Just because some girl said something doesn't mean she was being accurate. You said yourself she has a tendency to exaggerate. If you like him, keep talking.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Wow. WHAT a small world.

    You know I don't have any problem with casual dating, and stuff like this is just another reason why. I'm glad you didn't do like your cousin's friend and stop getting to know others while getting to know him.

    I agree. I don't have a problem with it either, as long as everyone is on the same page. In fact, I think it helps you not get too attached to one guy too quickly if you are seeing other people.

    But it would be a huge red flag to me if a guy I had not actually met told me he didn't want me to see other people, all the while putting off meeting me because he's "busy." I just think that's classic sociopath behavior. An emotionally healthy adult who simply feels weird about dating more than one person at a time would make an effort to meet right away so that BOTH of you could get on with your lives if it didn't work out. He wouldn't want to be stuck in a pseudo texting relationship for weeks or months any more than you would. Only a dishonest person would say "I'm too busy to meet you, but please don't see anyone else either." The guy is lying about something, be it his appearance, his job/lifestyle, or his relationship status.
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
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    This happened to me the last time I was doing online dating. I was talking to a guy (cop). We hadn't met but he seemed very interested. He'd call, text, frequently.

    One day I'm looking on my cousin's FB posting something on her wall and I see she had added a guy. His FB profile pic was the same one he used on POF. l
    I know how it goes. We talk to others while getting to know each other but it turned me off. Cousin!!!

    Cousin and I compared notes for fun but vowed to keep each other updated when we were talking/ dating to someone on POF as we both had accounts.



    Sucks that that he poofed. Eh. Next!!!

    And I'd give the email guy the benefit of the doubt once. Nothing to lose! Sounds like it could have really happen.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    HELP.......I just got an email from guy who blew me off saying that he "now understands why I didn't answer any of his texts--he plugged my number into his phone incorrectly"

    I am guessing not legit.......but do I give him the benefit of the doubt? I am conflicted for sure on this one.......

    The worst that can happen is that he poofs again. Do you like the look of him or not? Ball's in your court :bigsmile:
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
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    If that someone "POOFS" on you, do you think they owe you an explanation? Curious this recently happened to me.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    If that someone "POOFS" on you, do you think they owe you an explanation? Curious this recently happened to me.

    Explanation: They Weren't Into You OR They Died.

    true story bro. no one actually goes into the witness protection program anymore.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    HELP.......I just got an email from guy who blew me off saying that he "now understands why I didn't answer any of his texts--he plugged my number into his phone incorrectly"

    I am guessing not legit.......but do I give him the benefit of the doubt? I am conflicted for sure on this one.......

    Is this the same guy? I would give anyone the benefit of the doubt if they said that, but if it's the same guy as was dating your cousin he sounds like he as issues and you might just wanna leave him alone (as JQ said above red flag wanting someone not to date others til they met- too controlling).

    But anyone else, sure, it could happen. I'd give him another chance. But if it keeps happening, then no.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    If that someone "POOFS" on you, do you think they owe you an explanation? Curious this recently happened to me.

    Not if we've only gone out 3-4 times. I'd appreciate an "I'm not interested anymore," but that's not even really needed because the fact that they poofed is clearly indicating such.

    Silence is a very powerful form of communication.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    HELP.......I just got an email from guy who blew me off saying that he "now understands why I didn't answer any of his texts--he plugged my number into his phone incorrectly"

    I am guessing not legit.......but do I give him the benefit of the doubt? I am conflicted for sure on this one.......

    Is this the same guy? I would give anyone the benefit of the doubt if they said that, but if it's the same guy as was dating your cousin he sounds like he as issues and you might just wanna leave him alone (as JQ said above red flag wanting someone not to date others til they met- too controlling).

    But anyone else, sure, it could happen. I'd give him another chance. But if it keeps happening, then no.

    To clear things up a bit....he was not dating my cousin.....he was texting (that is all) her friend that I also know. And, the friend stated he asked her not to see anyone---but as I said the friend has a tendency to exaggerate.

    I did ask IRL friend for help on this, and she said she would compose an email to get things straight, and I could use it to pull out what I wanted to.......then she emailed me back, and said she was having trouble composing as other than the blow off...which he feels he explained (true or not) there is nothing else he did wrong...........

    **new info - the friend just texted me asking have I heard anything from him as she has not since Sat. afternoon......not sure if this makes any difference or not. I just ignored her for now**